Sunday, August 30, 2009

Very tired.(Plus Mom & Dad update)

Michael and I went to Lafayette and worked and worked and worked. We cleaned in the basement a lot so we could have room to move the recliner that was down there to the upstairs. Dad says he can't sleep lately and I felt like if he had that comfy recliner he might be able to sleep in it. We got all around it cleaned up, a path to the stairs all cleaned up, took out about 10 bags or boxes of trash and a couple of boxes of donations. Paul, my friend Susan's husband, and Sam, their son came over and helped carry it up the stairs. Chris had also come over after a while with Miko and helped with the cleaning part a little bit. Some of the stuff down there is still from when he lived there.

Bad part is, once we got it upstairs Mom wouldn't let me rearrange the furniture or take another chair downstairs so that there is really room for it! There are even three laundry baskets of stuff in the living room and I kept asking if it was dirty or clean and if it had homes to go to and she wouldn't really answer me. So now there is a comfy chair, where maybe he can sleep, but he still can't get around with his walker! Argh!!!

Another good part is, Mom let me take all the papers we could find to get started on their application for services from the Agency on Aging AND gave me permission to call the Household Helpers - a volunteer service that comes and helps with housework. I think she was inspired because Dad was completely suicidal earlier this week and it scared the bejeezus out of her. I made sure there is NOT a gun in the house anymore. They said they sold it to some guy and it is really gone. I told Dad if he did that we would all be angry with him forever. He had called his dr. the day he felt that way and they DOUBLED his anti-depressants. When I call the intake worker at the Agency on Aging I am going to ask her about the Adult Protective Services. When I spoke to her before she said they that agency can do "wellness checks." I want to find out what that entails and also if they have a crisis line if he feels suicidal and can't get through to his dr. Because all he would have to do is take a truckload pf painkillers and shoot up so much insulin that he dies. Even without a gun, there are plenty of ways to kill yourself in that house!

So I have all this on my mind and it's back to work 8 - 5 and to try to get these calls made, papers copied and all that stuff. I promised Mom to try to make the copies tomorrow so I could get her originals back in the mail to her as soon as possible. I will have to clock out for lunch and do all this stuff and still try to get busy Monday done. At least the last part of Friday was super-productive until the crying at my desk part, so I should be off to a good start.

Relatives who may be reading this: Mom expressed sadness that the visits were so short and she felt like she didn't get enough time to really talk to everybody as much as she wanted. She especially mentioned feeling like she didn't get to "catch up" with Karen. So if you get a chance to give a call, write a card, send a special email or something - go for it. Great FHE projects! Dad is so depressed I am sure any contact will help. He feels like he is useless any more and that is why he may as well die. I would appreciate it a lot. Heather is really good and calling and checking in on Mom and Dad regularly, but I am the bad daughter because I hate talking on the telephone so much. I think I am better at providing the physical help and labor than the companionship and attention they like. Heather and I have have always had different kinds of relationships with Mom and Dad and it still plays out that way in adulthood.

No comments: