I HATE Goodwill, and that is one of the reasons. I will go there to look when I need something, but it really upsets me that I see stuff still with Target clearance tags on it for sale for higher prices at Goodwill. I really think Goodwill rips off people who don't have money so they don't shop at stores like Target thinking they can't afford stuff. Then it is donated to Goodwill and they sell it at outrageous prices and get all these tax breaks because they hire people with developmental disabilities (and pay them less than a dollar an hour) Gah! and I am ranting right now, but I totally admit that I shop there when I needs stuff and that I will donate there if it is a Sunday and I just have to get crap out of my house NOW.
I'm reading "Bastard Out of Carolina" right now. It's a really, really raw story, and I am only 50 pages in.
There's one quote that begins on page 24 (Dutton Book paperback edition, 1992)
That Earle's got the magic," Aunt Ruth told me. "Man is just a magnet to women. Breaks their hearts and makes them like it." She shook her head and smiled at me. "All these youngsters playing at something, imagining they can drive women wild with their narrow little hips and sweet baby smiles, they ain't never gonna have the gift that Earle has, don't even know enough to recognize it for what it is. A sad wounded man who genuinely likes women --- that's what Earle is, a hurt little boy with just enough meanness in him to keep a woman interested. "
She pushed my hair back off my face and ran her thumb over my eyebrows, smoothing down the fine black hairs. "Your real daddy..." She paused, looked around, and started again. "He had some of that too, and that's something I can say for him. A man who really likes women always has a touch of magic." (Emphasis added)
As I read that a man popped into my mind. A man who is a friend, and that is all I have ever seen in him, because that is all I want. I can see in his past interactions with me, and his interactions with others, the genuineness of his attraction to women. I feel like he loves the smell, the taste, the feel, the everything about women. When he is with a woman, in that moment, that woman is the one he wants to be with, maybe even loves. He is living so much in the moment that the past and the future don't even exist. It feels amazing to be with a man who is so "entranced," even though it may not be particularly you, just what you are. Of course when a woman (me included) is with him, what he gets back is the attention that he craves.
I almost didn't include the first paragraph above as I quoted because I don't believe he has "meanness" the character of Earle has. I did include it, however, because the women he spends those moments with even if he "Breaks their hearts and makes them like it." seem to not hold anger with him. I will fully admit that I haven't spoken to or interviewed women has has been with. I can see, however, that he is loved in our community, and thought of as a kind man, a fun man, a smart man, etc. I don't think women/people in general examine his motives or question his behavior.
In full disclosure I will admit that I haven't interacted with him for awhile. While I am not heartbroken, I do feel a loss. I'd be willing to give him the admiration and the feminine attention he craves for a few moments, an afternoon, an evening in exchange for the feeling of being touched by that magic.
Thoughts from today: 1) At Goodwill I found a gym bag in the size and shape I want that does NOT advertise a brand name.
2) As I checked out at Goodwill I said I did not need a bag FOR MY BAG and sort of decided that I want to try to go without getting any more (and I mean zip, zilch, nada) single-use plastic bags, BUT: I really like using them as trash bags in my little trash cans throughout the house. I hate putting trash in a can without a liner. It seems gross to me. Does anybody have a solution for that?
3) I also looked at what I think MIGHT be a dehumidifier, but I have never had/used one before. I couldn't even tell if it has all the parts it should. Does anybody have experience with that and want to go to Goodwill with me and look? I've been running my window AC units often, but I still found mold growing on a coat in the closet.
4) Re: gym bag. One more excuse eliminated. Wednesday when I have a plan to eat out and go out to Nell Weatherwax's Storyzilla I could go straight from work to the gym and get ready for the evening afterward. Hard part is that I just really HATE never being home all day. I love my little house/home and I want to be here. << (That is in whining font).
5) I seriously purchased a "fatkini." I hoped to have it complete before the 12th when I went to the Indiana Dunes with a group of friends who would have been supportive. I'm not sure if I am a gutsy enough " Women with Guts" to wear it to a pool or lake without the protection of a large group.
During the parade I sat on the wall of one of the new planters along Kirkwood Ave. It was a huge bee place and there were tens of bees constantly buzzing and on the flowers. That reminded me that I need to get some bee friendly plants as I am working on perennials....
The bagpipers had to stop right in front of me and mark time. Most people who know me know how I feel about bagpipes. :/ although honestly, my heart is starting to soften a little bit. Maybe people start to like bagpipes better as they get older because of hearing damage and bad ears...
Friends Charis and Ross rolling the ReStore truck.
People from UU and especially Christy shakin' her thing.
Facebook post: The problem with coming to the parade alone is that I always cry and it feels stupider....
Hope E GolightlyYes.
I have a lot of inner turmoil and grief about national pride and war
and the military and honor and the flag and patriotism and...I just cry a
lot when presented with this kind of reminder.
The easy stuff. I didn't wear this hat this past year. I hate store hangers, another catering tray, an unused stepstool, unused tent sealer, unused wall hooks. This will all be donated.
Stuff to be donated to the tool share. I really super hope they can use it. The gallon container was left here after a party (full of hibiscus tea!) and it's time for it to go home. I think the big drink cooler can be used at the tool share event this weekend - I actually asked for it to get back, but I have some flexibility on that. One nice thing about having it back is that if it is at my house it can be used for events that I seem to often be marginally involved with and then if I get it back I know where it is for the next time.
Will be left out for the woman who gave me the perennial plants to pick up and use. I will be a little embarrassed for her to see that some of the plants aren't faring too well....
I also asked the tool share to take some of the wood scraps in the garage. I haven't actually counted them, but if they take them they def count for the 19th. If they don't I will decide on making up the 19th or not later.
or another thirty-seven. I, figure this counts for tonight and for one of the days that I will be gone over the weekend. Actually Saturday is day 20, so that is perfect.
These were left by that last bad roommate, so they have been in my garage for two years and I have been walking around or tripping on them all that time. I am almost done getting rid of his crap. There are a couple of things left. I put these on Freecycle a couple of days ago and I have one offer who hasn't shown up and about four backup offers, one of whom is the woman who gave me plants a couple of weeks ago. The first person said she would come after work today and she hasn't shown up, so if she doesn't I am going to offer them to the plant woman (Sara) next. They are probably historic in some way. They appear handmade and have BRAZIL stamped on them. Maybe there was a brick factory in Brazil. It's not too far from here.
My goal is to have them off my property by the time I leave Friday morning.