Sunday, April 7, 2013

Second post today

I have been playing on OK Cupid this weekend. I decided I wrote too much in my profile and I am whittling it down. Here is something I am deleting, but I like it so I am copying it here.

(6 things I could Never do Without)
Friends, books, music, my colorful home, my family, nature.
Friends: Through every phase of my life I have had amazing friends to support me. I tend to keep friend a long, long time. I am still friends with the pack I hooked up with in seventh grade! I grieve somewhat over friends with whom I have lost touch or when I realize a friendship has to come to an end.
Books: another constant in my life. I learned to read very early and used books as an escape and a comfort. I still read a lot. This past year, my reading has slowed a little and I am trying to pick it up again. I have learned SO MUCH from reading. My college degree is in English and although sometimes I wish I had chosen something that could have lead to a more lucrative career I am glad I learned what I did. I have a long way to go in completing the list of "must reads" that I have!
Music: A wide variety... everything from classical to current rock - but not really "pop" except sometimes for its ease to dance and sing to. I love Pink Floyd, Sting, Tracy Chapman... there are so many I can't even think of a list. I like melodic music with thoughtful or clever lyrics.
My colorful home: I love working on my home. I'm not kidding about the colorful part. The bright purple front door is just a clue to what is in store when you enter. It has been a long time and I need to start either repainting or doing lots of touch up and fix up, because I really didn't know what I was doing or how to do it the first time I painted. I am trying to decide whether to keep it brightly colored or if I should go more traditional. Both of my children have left home and there may come a time when I will be ready to sell the house and move on. If that is the case, buyers may not be interested in green, purple, yellow, blue, and muraled walls....
My family: Mostly my two children. We are very close and have great relationships. My daughter has moved a couple hundred miles away and I don't get to see her very often. That's pretty difficult for me. It's funny, though, I am not much of a phone talker (actually really don't like it), so we don't talk by phone that much either. My son goes to school here in town, but does not live at home. I see him about every week. He tells me I am supposed to pretend like he doesn't live in the same town, but then he'll come home to do laundry and usually accepts when I offer to take him out to dinner - maybe it's just for the free food! My family of origin is a little bit strange. I am probably closest to my younger sister - who is thirteen years younger than I am. We can be best friends and we can get in the worst fights! I was responsible for her a lot when she was a child so we have had a little transitioning to this new relationship where we are more peers. I spent the summer moving my parents from their house into an apartment complex for the elderly. That entire process was extremely difficult and stressful for me and the rest of the family. We are still adjusting to the changes that have happened in my parents' lives with the move and some health problems my father has encountered.
Nature: What is there to say? I guess I ran out of space! The end.

Time flies...

One thing about having Eric live with me is that I can't really write in my blog. I use the computer sometimes, but I have been working on updating and maintaining Hope's Homemades.

There are days when I feel like I have so much to write and then when I don't do it, the ideas fade away.

Here are some logistical updates.

This week I am going to Illinois to see Henry Rollins speak. I saw him a couple of years ago when Garet and I were dating. I was tempted to invite Garet to go with me, but I kept imagining a couple of scenarios. 1) We go together and fight the entire time and we are TRAPPED. 2) We go together and have sex, and then try to get together and I remember why I broke up with him. There was not imagining that we would go together and remember how much we love being together, have mind-blowing, satisfying sex and get back together. Based on the lack of imagining that scenario the invitation never happened. Probably good. Oh, another scenario I keep imagining is that for some reason I meet up with Henry Rollins and WE have mind-blowing, satisfying sex. I think that's my favorite scenario.

I am feeling somewhat depressed. Most mornings when I wake up the first thing I say is, "Fuck! Shit!" because all I want to do is stay in my bed. Mornings that I don't say it out loud I want to just lie there and scream. I am not enjoying my work right now. I really need a break and I hope my trip this week will help. I have what appears to be a fairly nice hotel reserved for Wednesday and Thursday nights. Friday night I will drive back to Indiana and stay the rest of the weekend at Chez Vaughn, and babysit the baybeeze Saturday evening while Lisa and John go to a big wedding.

I'm feeling scattered about writing right now. I am going to go eat some lunch and then try again later.