Saturday, January 31, 2009

Betta Fish

I have had two fish since Emily abandoned UVR after summer break. I finally spent the $5 and bought the double sided tank I have wanted ever since. There is a divide that they can see through, but not get to each other. The box says it encourages "flaring" They are trying to attack each other! Peg is always active, but UVR is only active at feeding time. Now they are both in a frenzy. I may have to put the opaque divider in sometimes so they can rest!

Bike injury..

Ah! You thought I'd say Michael, right? Nope. It's me. When the bike rack is on the car if you close the trunk it slams so hard it could give you a skull fracture or crush your head. You have to be very careful and dodge it or close it in a controlled fashion. Well, I was kind of distracted and let it slam without thinking about it. The arm of the bike rack hit my shoulder. I am lucky it didn't hit hard enough to break a bone, because it really is that heavy. I am sure I will have a whopper bruise. I should note this on my Facebook group "I run into or drop things daily." It kind of gives me an excuse to not go to contra dance tonight. I didn't really want to go, but Gillian asked me to because it is a big dance and it is also her birthday. Maybe if I can motivate myself to get out I will just stop by and give her her gift and birthday greetings, but at this point I'd really like to just stay home. I never did finish my list from last weekend and my house is pretty stinking messy.

Michael had solo/ensemble contest this morning. All he did was his large ensemble, which received a first. They are not going to go to state, however, because the first violinist can't go. He did not perform his solo. It was a little rough on him emotionally. We have talked about him continuing to rehearse it and perhaps performing it at church. He is the one who suggested that and it kind of surprised me because he has resisted attending when I have suggested it to him. They often have a good piece during prelude or during the offering time. There is also a good pianist who would probably be willing to accompany him. Also Shelley attends there and has played before. Also Jake, another HS cellist (child prodigy virtuoso) attends there and has played and his mom, Sue, is the music director. So maybe Jake and Michael could even work up a duet and do one piece for prelude, one for offering or something. Shelley and I will probably talk to Sue soon and see if we can plan that.

Well, now I must go start putting away the SCADS of items I purchased and also doing regular household maintenance which has been neglected. I need to have the trunk emptied before Michael gets home from Bike Project so he can help me load and take a BUNCH of stuff to the dump.

Positive thoughts right now are toward accomplishing some neglected tasks and regaining a sense of peace in a more organized household.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Rumble rumble....

I often heard this funny noise on the right side of the car. Sometimes I heard it when I braked, sometimes I heard it when I accelerated, sometimes I heard it when I turned a corner. There seemed to be no one significant time when I heard. I worried. I fretted. I turned the radio louder so I wouldn't hear it anymore. The other day I was getting something out of the piles of junk in my back seat and spotted a partially full box of "Gobstoppers" candy on the floor. I had bought this box of Gobstoppers on the trip when I went to Greenfield and Lafayette and back in one evening/night/morning and didn't get home until 3:30 a.m. The last stop I made was to walk around a 24 hour Walgreen's until I was back awake and I bought a box of Gobstoppers to suck on while I drove the rest of the way. Rumble rumble as I braked and the Gobstoppers rolled around in the box. Rumble rumble as I accelerated and the Gobstoppers rolled around in the box. Rumble rumble as I turned and the Gobstoppers rolled around in the box!

Yesterday I found a can of Diet Ginger Ale under my seat. Yay! Time to clean out the car, I guess. Who knows what treasures lurk?

Positive thoughts today for change. It's always hard for me, but every change at work means I still have a job and that is very important.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


I know I use that title a lot. Last night I was WIPED. I went to bed before 9:00, slept until 1:30, got up and peed and was back asleep before the plot conflict even occurred in Sanford and Son. Slept until 6:30...

My cousin is the Director of the Institute of Religion at Purdue and started a Facebook Group for it. I already found one woman who babysat me when I was a little child, then when she and her husband were students at Purdue I babysat their children!
I had even tried googling various family member names to try to find their family so I am pretty excited.

So positive thoughts for today are for reaffirming prior connections. I feel really happy about that and hope to make some more.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snow, snow everywhere ...

At least nine inches and I guess up to 14 in some parts of the county. I'm pretty comfortable with nine inches. ;)

No snowplows in sight in my neighborhood this morning. I called Leah and said I was all ready to go if someone could come and fetch me. Finally a woman named Sherry said she would come and get me in her Jeep. I told her I wasn't sure even the Jeep would make it. She was like, "Oh the Jeep can handle anything." In the meantime a guy in a Jeep Cherokee entered our cul-de-sac and promptly was stuck. Michael was helping shovel him out and I called Sherry and said, "do NOT enter the cul-de-sac. I will come out and meet you at the corner." So I had to walk, not too far, but it felt far in the deep, deep snow, even though I walked in the other Jeep's tire tracks. So I got to work today and put in (most of) my time.

Katie and Michael shoveled out the driveway, but the circle is still unplowed! I don't know how we're going to get out in the morning. Michael has an appointment tomorrow so I have to have a car. We're thinking even if we can have only one car between us we might find a way to manage.

Snowplow is outside right now1 Maybe we'll be okay tomorrow.

So positive thoughts toward the logistics of tomorrow, accomplishing the things we need to do for our finances and our health and well being, and hoping that others are well and will get plowed and have power and the effects of the snow won't be harmful.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Home again

not feeling very bloggish, but I guess I did write a little earlier.

Positive thoughts tonight are for good health, wishing them for a couple of friends who are having current crises and testing and such. Long-term positive thoughts for others of us with chronic problems and our attempts to work on helping ourselves and loving ourselves the ways we can.

Snow day meant Michael went to Bike project during the day (and yes, he rode there and home!) so tonight we had a relaxed dinner and enjoyed time together and with Katie. Now I am watching the Biggest Loser and making some BBQ sauce to take some goodies to work tomorrow.

Work is boring.

I have filed. I have cleaned. I have organized. I have shredded. I have a few more things on my list, but I have over five hours to make them happen.

So here is a meme... are they called memes because they are always self-centered? Is there some origin to that word that I should know?

Not as easy as you might think! Now forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to send back to the person you received it from!

Where is your cell phone? purse
Your significant other? somewhere
Your hair? bad
Your mother? Martha
Your father? Bob
Your favorite thing? People
Your dream last night? Forgotten
Your favorite drink? Soda
Your dream/goal? warmth
What room are you in? office
Your hobby? multiple
Your fear? heights
Where do you want to be in 6 years? SantaFe
Where were you last night? Computer
Something that you aren't? Brave
Muffins? nuts
Wish list item? door
Last thing you did? Filed
What are you wearing? clothes
Your pets? Fish
Friends? Fun
Your life? Content
Your mood? relaxed
Missing someone? Always
Drinking? Water
Smoking? Nope
Your car? Old
Something you're not wearing? Hat
Your favorite store? Target
Your favorite color? Blue
When is the last time you cried? Forgotten
Who will resend this? Nobody
Where do you go to over and over? Office
Five people who email me regularly? Family
My favorite place to eat? Office
Favorite place I'd like to be at right now? home
Four people I think will respond. Nobody

One word is nearly impossible for me. For example Office in some cases means here at work, in other places The Office Lounge! Guess which. And how can you answer questions that ask Four and Five in the beginning with one word? And favorite drink - Diet Pepsi is two words. La-di-da. I guess who cares when there is war and genocide in the world. That's why even though I have my minor annoyances in life, financial struggles, etc... I can say "content." I am happy to be as well off as I am. I worry too much about my friends and family, but we've all really got it good.

The end.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Other people's issues.

Michael has been having issues with his cello teacher. We JUST found out we had the date wrong for solo/ensemble - thought it was in two weeks, but it is THIS weekend. Cello teacher has been stressing out anyway because she feels like Michael hasn't been practicing well or enough. She has called me and talked to me about it and I really don't know how to respond and I really don't remember what I did say. I know at one point a couple of weeks ago I told Michael if he is not going to do what she says there is no reason for me to continue to pay for lessons. He said he hates the piece he is working on, he doesn't want to play classical pieces anymore and he wants a rock or jazz teacher. I went so far as to put an ad in the paper and to look for one, but we didn't get any replies. I figure the next step is to get with Dr. Baker's daughter April, who was Emily's violin teacher and ask her if she can contact her dad to see if one of his students is looking for students. (David Baker - Google - he is a famous jazz cellist, composer and teacher).

So anyway...Shelley called tonight and Michael told her how we had found that we had the incorrect date on the contest. She was totally freaking out... They talked for like twenty minutes and then she asked to talk to me. To her standards, if you don't KNOW you have your piece perfectly prepared and will go and get a first, you don't go do it. To Michael he wants to go and do it and see how it goes and get more experience performing and learn from what the judge says. They had been arguing about it all that time. So Shelley told me all this and I finally just said something like, "Look, I have been uninvited to lessons. I don't know how you two communicate anymore. All I do is provide the ride and write checks. I think Michael just has to decide if he wants to play, and you have to decide if you want to go and support him or not." I feel like Shelley is having trouble being authoritarian in her teaching and she wanted me to somehow intervene and make Michael see things her way. Well you know damn well I can't make Michael see things anybody's way but his own! Shelley was also angry that Michael had practiced with the pianist without her knowing today. I thought that was a GOOD thing, that as soon as we realized our error Michael made arrangements to get together with Nathaniel (child prodigy virtuoso pianist) to start practicing as soon as possible.

Now to her credit - Michael has told her how much he hates this piece (Schumann Fantasy Shtup --- no not really - that sounds like a Yiddish wet dream, but I don't know how to really spell it), and that he wants to start learning other types of music. She has been exploring for other teachers etc... to help him in his quest, but that all needs to happen after contest.... She knows a guy who is a jazz violinist and her idea is that Michael will have a lesson with her one week and then a lesson with this guy on jazz/ rock etc the other weeks and Shelly will attend those lessons in addition, so she can correct Michael on the cello technique part AND learn some of the jazz/ rock style in the meantime. I think that's a good idea. Of course there are financial worries with TWO teachers per lesson....

Other good cello news. Michael rebuilt a broken cello someone gave him and it sounds pretty good. He wants to add an extra string so it has more range. A guy put a tool on Freecycle that he mentioned specifically is good for someone working on musical instruments. So I tried to get it first and explained what it was for in my reply. He (Vlad, the offerer) said he already gave it away, BUT he would be glad to have Michael take the cello into his shop (!) and he might be able to help him add the string. I don't know for sure what kind of musician/ technician Vlad is, BUT he is Facebook friends with my friend Byron who is a (Child prodigy virtuoso, but grown up now) professional pianist so he is probably pretty high caliber. I probably ought to Google Vlad and get more info on him...

So sigh... I am stressed because of Michael and Shelley's problems. I really feel like it's an issue Shelly has about not knowing what to do as a teacher. In one manager seminar at the bank they taught us about not taking anybody else's monkey on your back... I need to NOT do that with this, but it's hard when your child is involved.

Positive thoughts are that SOMEHOW this will work out.

And I have had some positive RSVPs for my brunch, enough that I feel like even if everybody else says no, we will have a small, but interesting and diverse group of women to have great food and conversation. Woot!

editing to add: Here's about Vlad:

Here's about Dr. Baker:

Here's Byron:

Isn't living in Bloomington great? (Except this damn winter cold!) Except really I have known Byron since we were twelve. He had the privilege of seeing me throw up in history class in seventh grade. I don't know where else in the world I could have so many great music teachers and experiences for my children unless I could live in New York, which is even colder and snowier!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

"My scrotum smells like sunshine."

See! I really did it. After this sentence was announced during a wild game of "Catch Phrase" last night I declared that would be my title for my blog entry today!

I had a good weekend. I hardly achieved anything on my Saturday list, or did most of the tasks halfway, but who cares? I went up to Lisa and John's last night and we had a nice dinner with Buck (Lee) and his date. After dinner some other couples came over and we played the game. It was really fun and a little wild. Everybody else left kind of early so Lisa and I played Scrabble (SCRABBLE brand crossword game, copyright Milton Bradley) in real life, instead of on Facebook. On Facebook she consistently kicks my ass by 100 points or more. In real life she won two games and I won one, but we were much, much closer in points. Today was game two and three, eating leftovers, movie watching, talking... until it was time for me to go get Michael - very relaxed and pleasant. It's nice to have a friend where we have known each other so long that we can be that comfortable. We know where each other are (is?) coming from because we were together when a lot of it was happening!

Michael and I had a nice drive home. He still felt pretty bad physically over the weekend, but had no big scenes with his father, which is a relief. He didn't get enough sleep because of not feeling well and his bed there is uncomfortable and stuff like that. He still says he feels better than he did on Friday, at least.

I'm kind of tired and I don't want to write a lot tonight. I want to work on my tasks some more, watch some TV, look at my Facebook Scrabble games off and on and then get to bed... SO, that being said,

Positive thoughts today toward Michael healing physically and learning tools to cope emotionally, gratitude for friendship and a social weekend that was completely relaxing, and looking forward to a positive week of work and life.

Good night!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Horrible night...

I am a whiner, I know. There are many people lots worse off than I am in this world... I went to bed with that headache. I took a Mucinex that I remembered I had in my purse, but not pain pills. I kept waking up still breathing badly and in pain. I finally hurt so badly I woke up around 5:30 in agony. I started looking for my Lortab and couldn't find it...I also couldn't find my Rx cough syrup... Where are the good drugs? I started to worry.... I finally took the Excedrine, even though caffeine was not the drug of choice when I wanted to sleep some more. THEN I remembered to look in my backpack that I take with me when I go to Indy and think I might end up staying all night. Yep - I must have been sick the last time! Phew! I would never think Michael would steal my narcotics because he is a health nut and I practically have to force him to take Sudafed and stuff for his headaches, but we leave our house open all the time and I KNOW one of my neighbors is a pill freak and has stolen them from Stephanie in the past.

So after taking the Exedrine I gathered all my comfort items: Ginger Ale, Hello Kitty throw, heating pad, already under the big comforter... Turned on TV Land and listened to The Brady Bunch, Gunsmoke and Bonanza and slept off and on until about 8:30. I feel a lot better now, not in pain, hungry and don't think I'll throw up, but still pretty tired. I will probably try to do my Saturday stuff, and take a nap before I leave for Indy.

I was so sad when I felt so bad that I might not be able to go to Lisa's tonight. I hope I can keep the headache at bay so it can happen. I might also need to be sensible, like maybe do the dinner part, but skip the other people coming later to play games part. I'll just have to see how the head is. If I eat well today and try to rest if I need it and keep the fluids going in, maybe I'll be all better!

So here's my list:
Clean my room well enough to vacuum
Clean my bathroom
Regular kitchen maintenance catch-up
Sweep and Swiffer
Read 50 pages
Sweep and Swiffer hallway
Laundry complete.
Nap when able.
Evil Empire for money order and new stretchy straps?

We'll see how that goes. It seems pretty ambitious for a "baby the headache" day.

Now off. I want to test my sugar, though it's not really a fasting sugar because I had regular ginger ale, and eat some food.

Friday, January 23, 2009


I was so tired after work I came home and slept, even though it was my last chance to spend a little time with Michael before his dad came to get him. I feel guilty and sad about that. Michael really didn't want to go to his dad's and was upset, of course. I would have been a better mom if I had spent some time with him.

I'm still really tired and headachey. I wish I had some Sudafed. We had some of the fake (PE) kind, but Michael took it to his dad's with him. He has been feeling so bad, physically as well as emotionally. He stayed home from school today. I may take some real pain pills tonight and try to really sleep it off.

After I woke up I talked to Pat for a while, thinking maybe we could hit a movie tonight, but he had NOT taken a nap, so that was out. He works starting VERY early in the morning, then usually takes a seven or eight mile run in the afternoon, and often a nap...but he needed to hit the sack tonight. We both really want to see "Gran Torino" but it will have to wait until next weekend.

I keep having bouts of dizziness, disorientation and such. I am trying a new medicine Janumet - a combo if Januvia and Metformin. My sugars haven't been too low, as a matter of fact one day I woke up at 185! Very high for me. I don't think that light headedness was listed as one of the side effects so I am worried. I almost went into the dr's office to get my BP taken, after the dentist, but then the dentist was more traumatic than I had planned so I forgot. I don't like to use the machines at stores because of my germ thing. If it is still happening after the weekend I will go in and get my BP taken at the dr. Maybe I need to adjust a different med. Sigh...

Positive thoughts for today are from talking to Pat and feeling encouraged. He used to be fatter, although I never thought he looked really obese, but has worked over the last three years and lost 85 pounds. HIS diabetes is in control with no meds and he feels great. I am happy to have him as a good example for me and he loves me the way I am and understands how hard it is and doesn't judge me for being fat.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


I called and made a counseling appt for Michael today. I figured I would just send him on his bike as usual, and then realized that I might have to go to sign consent papers or something for his first appointment. The counselor said if he had a substance abuse problem he could go alone, but because he is depressed I need to go sign papers. So if your kid is shooting heroin you can send him or her to a counselor unsupervised, but if they feel miserable, tired and ill all the time because he or she is depressed you have to go sign a paper. Maybe they are more afraid of them dying if they are depressed than if they smoke a lot of pot and take pills. Who knows? Anyway it feels like a positive and proactive step to have the appointment set. I am really, really scared. Ed started out depressed and it was when they put him on anti-depressants that it made him have his first severe mania and end up hospitalized. My own family has a tendency only toward depression, so I am hoping the Pechin genes are strong here! So much to worry about. Of course it makes me want to spoil Michael silly to try to make him happy, even though I know that is not really a solution. If the BAD, YUCKY situation with his dad would be worked out I think he would be okay. I just think Michael does not have the emotional tools to deal with it. I don't recall if I wrote about it, but two weeks ago Michael tried to voice his opinion to his dad. Bad idea. It sent Ed into one of his verbally abusive and frightening episodes so bad that Michael was afraid Ed was going to hit him (boy do I know that feeling). So we made a plan on what Michael should do if Ed ever does hit him. He is to keep his cell phone charged and with him at all times, leave the premises, walk to the Police station and report it and call me to come get him.

We talked about it last night - which is not surprising as we talk about it constantly - my next goal is by January 31 to write a letter to Ed proposing alternative visitation to the weekends. Ed no longer works second shift and there is no reason he should not be able to come down on a weekday evening and spend some time with Michael. We'll see what happens with that.

So sigh... BIG sigh...

Positive thoughts ... ummm positive thoughts that SOMEHOW we can find a situation that will help Michael deal with this unhappy time in his life. That we can fix it with Ed, or provide tools for Michael to deal with the emotional turmoil this is causing him. I love my Hippie Boy and I want him to be happy. I know parents can't fix everything, but this just seems crazy.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Positive thoughts

I didn't post my positive thoughts today, but they have all been for my friend, Jill who had some serious surgery today. It has been reported that she did well and it turned out not be be as complicated as they had thought it might be... so YAY! Now lots of positive thoughts for her quick recovery.

Good night!

Food fun

These pictures were taken to show off my lovely new pan! It was gifted to me by an internet friend, but I don't know if she wants me to tell... if you don't care, declare, "It was me! It was me!" in the comments! We took pictures so she could see how happy we are. Michael insisted on the "thumbs up" picture. He thought that was so funny. These days he is so depressed that I am willing to do anything to make him smile (except give him $130 to buy Monkeylectric lights for his bike). I probably would even give him the $130 if I could! Those lights are really cool - go look at to see them. He is dying to be the first one in town to get them.

P.S. notice my dream refrigerator in the background? Cool huh? (Pun intended)

Editing to add: and it is whole grain spaghetti and bread! AND the pasta also has veggies inside! :) It is bottled sauce, though, so it is full of sugar. :( I need to make sauce and can it this weekend!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Aretha Franklin!

Did you see that hat?

Aretha Franklin is the only woman in the world who could pull off that hat so fabulously! What a woman!

I heart Aretha Franklin. She gets my R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!

An historic day..

I worked nine and a half hours without a freaking break. People even called in the middle of the inauguration. I couldn't believe it. I was watching/listening on the internet. I was angry because the company sent an email saying we shouldn't do it because we needed to use our bandwidth for our subscribers. I AM a subscriber! I pay for my internet subscription and I have just as much right to have it on my computer as any other subscriber. Grr... they say we are allowed to use the internet for personal use during breaks and as long as it is not excessive... well when I work all day and I am the only one on call rotation for half the day, AND am handling all the internet submissions and eat lunch at my desk... any second I can get is a freaking break!


So positive thoughts toward a new era of change and of all the commission I must have earned today!

I need to do my uberlist for 2009 and I have been either so busy or so tired that I haven't even done my final assessment of 2008 yet! Maybe this weekend I can get to it.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I am lazy.

I worked today and worked hard, but also finished my taxes during my "breaks." YAY! I get a refund. Then I am going to get the house payments caught up and finish paying for my surgery. Very exciting.

Gillian and I declared tomorrow red white and blue day at work and said we must all wear red white and blue and bring in red white and blue food. I half feel like making a real cake and decorating it, but I think the other half is winning... I bought some Hershey kisses tonight that are wrapped in patriotic wrappers. I also have some sugar cookie mixes that I bought thinking Heather and Emily would make them at Christmas time and they never did. So if I actually bake, I will probably use the mixes. The vain part of me, however, doesn't like taking stuff to work that is made from a mix. I am known for REALLY baking, so I hate admitting it's a mix. I need to use them up, though, so they don't get wasted. I can't stand that kind of thing. I will probably just make the drop cookie version and then ice them simply.... I don't feel like cleaning up the mess. I felt bad yesterday so things got messy, then Michael was home all day today, so things got messier, then I made dinner and things got even messier. Katie did clean up a bunch and did a load of dishes while I cooked dinner so it's not near as bad as it could be! If I bake cookies there's more to clean again! Sigh. It never ends.

Anyway, positive thoughts toward tomorrow. I am looking forward to a slow day, I hope, and to be able to watch the important parts while I work. And looking forward to a NEW Presidency with CHANGE we can believe in! CHANGE in which we can believe.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dress pictures

This is Katie "modeling" the dress before blinging. The picture of Renee and Erica doesn't show the bling very well. We took some pictures of Renee in the dress later, but the batteries in her camera were getting low so I don't think they turned out well. The neckline looked FABULOUS, the hem was studded all around, and there was a design on one side of the skirt that I really liked. I think it had over 200 rhinestones by the time I was done. My arms and shoulders were sore for a couple of days after setting them all. And Yes, the bridal gown does have studded bondage straps leading up to a studded collar with a black fishnet insert. This is my "interesting" group of friends.

Sunday again.

I have had a headache today and my sugar has been a little wonky and I have been queasy. Not fun. I was all ready to go to church, but decided that it wasn't smart to drive. Michael rode to the store and bought some Ginger ale for me which is a sick/ comfort food for me, plus helps keep my sugar up if I can't eat anything else. I was at 89 right when he got home so I drank one can of regular with sugar and then I ate some sweet potato fries and didn't throw up. I feel better now, but I probably really need some protein, honestly. I made the fries in the oven with just a little cooking spray, so really no added fat. I think I read it on one of Amber's blogs she's linked to...They were really good, plus lately I have been burning them every time I make them, I don't know why - inattention, I guess. I never used too much oil, anyway. maybe one tablespoon of canola, but every calorie saved helps, right?

We are going to Gillian's for dinner, so I don't have to cook a big dinner. I made some jello earlier so I am going to take that and I am going to make a bowl of tomato salad. Yum.

So I have had a very non-productive day as far as completing the weekend house stuff. That's just the way it goes sometimes. It's more important to rest right now. I really, really want to avoid a recurrence of last year's illnesses.

Oh - I did do one great thing which is made my guest list for the brunch and made the first half of the invitations and they are completely ready to mail. We are going to put them in the box on the way to Gill's and then I will be formally committed. I am happy to be initiating social contact with some women I would like to know better, as well as some with whom I am already friends. I decided to invite 20, expect 10 to be able to attend. That way I can cook pretty easily with a simple menu and seat everybody AND have enough dishes, except glasses. I only have a four cup coffeemaker. I might need to borrow a big one for this event. I think I will have: either quiches or breakfast casserole, a baked good, fruit or fruit salad, cottage cheese, and coffee and juices. I would like to serve mimosas, but I probably can't afford the champagne. I don't want to spend too much money.

So positive thoughts toward a pleasant evening with Gill and her children and looking forward to my brunch.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday Summary

Dishes: Done a lot, of course there are still some dirty as I have eaten at home today, but the part that was "behind" is all caught up.
Sweep floor in front room and hallway - Not yet.
change table cloth - Not yet
Two loads of laundry - Last load is in the dryer
Read 50 pages- have read 20 - 30 so far.
Make a nice dinner. Decided not to. I think I will wait until tomorrow and it turned out to be a good decision as Michael still has not returned. I am starting to worry...
Organize the cabinet under the sink. Yes, done, and deciding obsessive things like I am going to stop using certain canisters and making new containers and labeling them with the label maker and things like that and that is why the table is still not cleaned off and spiffed up and the floors aren't swept. AS Scarlett said..."tomorrow is another day."

Positive thoughts toward feelings of satisfaction with new organization. And LOVING my label maker. Someday I will get the electronic type and I will label everything I own!


I don't feel like doing anything. I think the cold has paralyzed me. I managed to get out and get to work and do the things I needed to all through the week. Now it is a heat wave of 22 degrees and I can't manage to even THINK about doing anything. I don't really need to go anywhere... I could take a dump run, but really I only have one bag of real trash and it's not maggot season so it can stay.

I don't even feel like washing dishes or laundry or regular maintenance, however. That can be a dangerous thing. I hate starting a new work week with a messy house. I turned the thermostat up to 60, hoping that a little more heat in here will help me get moving. I will definitely have to use the ten minute method today or I will not get anything accomplished.

So here's a list, but it will be very short.

Sweep floor in front room and hallway
change table cloth
Two loads of laundry
Read 50 pages
Make a nice dinner.
Organize the cabinet under the sink.

Michael is gone - he has a Science Olympiad event today. He WANTED to ride his bike because it is so "warm" outside. I forbade him riding the last two days this week and he was very angry with me about it. So I only got up at 4:45 to make sure it was above zero, then went back to bed and slept a LONG time.

I went out last night to Player's Pub. King Bee and the Stingers were playing blues and I wanted to support them, because they played at the fund raiser we did for the orchestra. Also I work with one of the Stinger's wives (Rita) and like her a lot. It was a pleasant evening. An older crowd goes to Player's Pub and I am more comfortable than when we go to Jake's. It's also kind of fun to be sitting with the musician's wives and girlfriends and the musicians come over during their breaks and stuff. I also saw lots of people I know... from Women Inspire, and people I worked with in banking and real estate and customers from the paper and just because I have been in town so long and stuff. It's really more my style than hanging out at the "dance club" where lots of the college kids go. The weird thing is that even though I "know" so many people I never really developed close relationships with them. Most of that time all of my social activities were with people from the church... so I have "Hi how are you?" relationships with these people, but not real friendships. It's kind of a mixture of being happy to see people I know and sadness and anxiety that for them to become real friendships I would have to take the initiative and try to make them deeper relationships.

I talked to Loni a little bit about this last week. I am thinking of hosting a brunch for women on Valentine's Day, which is a Saturday. It would be a way to get to know some of them a little more intimately, have them into my home and do some good cooking for people too. I think maybe I should add that to my list today - Work up a guest list and decide evite or mailed invitations for brunch...

I did something similar when I I was starting to feel discombobulated at church. I hosted a breakfast and invited women... I felt like I was kind of feeling out to see if they were really friends or just friends because of circumstance... the "assigned" friends of visiting teaching, etc. I remember it as a pleasant time and I felt like I did do some discovery about some of the relationships I had there.

Okay. I am going to go my first 10 minutes. Sigh...

Friday, January 16, 2009

Funny Hat Day

Declared by a certain Aussie chick!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I don't feel like writing.

Can you believe it?

Here's something. Michael and I went shopping tonight at Kohl's and I bought three pair of jeans for him. It is a miracle. He HATES shopping. I hate shopping with him. I usually don't have any money to spend. He has been wearing the same two pairs of pants forever AND one one them has this huge patch across the ass that he sewed on himself. He went to Opp House a couple of weeks ago and bought three new shirts for around $6.00. Tonight we bought three pairs of jeans for like $60 - and that was at 70% off! BUT he is so tall and skinny it is nearly impossible to find jeans and pants to fit him. We got 30x32, but he really needs 30x34. At least he finally got up to a 30 waist. He used to have to have 29, and the longest they come is 30, even in the expensive brands. We found that at Kohl's they do have Levi's that come in 30x34, but they were $35 each. I decided to watch the ads and if they ever have a Levi's sale we are going to go buy some!

I forbade Michael ride the bike to school today. Temperature was 5, with a windchill of 18 below. He was VERY angry and even called me at work to argue some more about it. They had made a two hour delay for the schools because of the cold. They have already called one for tomorrow also. He wants to ride tomorrow and I said I would think about it, but made no promises. I had to be FIRM and say, "I am the parent and it is my decision and you will obey or there will be consequences." I hardly ever have to do stuff like that with him so it was difficult.

So positive thoughts that my son is basically healthy, even though I have concerns about him lately.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

More drunken adventures!

No, not me and Pat!

Michael had a concert tonight. On the way home we passed a man sitting by the side of the road. It's nine degrees right now, with a wind. We drove past and I said, "We'll turn around and if he's still there we'll call 911." We turned around and went back and he was belly crawling across the street - so basically lying in the middle of the street. I turned on my hazard lights and stopped in front of him. Another guy stopped and he and Michael got out and helped him out of the street while I called 911. The cops were there in a couple of minutes and this guy could not stand up so badly that strong Michael and other big guy even dropped him once. When the cops got there they knew him - must be a frequent flyer. The cops asked if we would take him home, but I said I wasn't really comfortable letting him in the car so Michael and the other guy were preparing to walk him home. It was about a block. Then the guy said he is also diabetic and thought his sugar was off, so the cops decided to go ahead and call an ambulance for him. I am glad they decided to call an ambulance. I really think it was the appropriate thing to do in the first place. As a matter of fact when I called I requested to dispatch an ambulance as well as police, but I guess they let the police make that decision as first responders. We were only a couple of blocks away from the hospital anyway, so I guess it wouldn't take a lot of time for the ambulance to get there. I hope he didn't get any frostbite. He had a coat, but it was open and had only a t-shirt underneath, and he had no gloves. That's how my hopeless crush ended up with one leg - a bad case of frostbite on a foot. Yuck. Poor guy (tonight's guy, not hopeless crush).

I must have a knack for finding drunks...

Positive thoughts that this man will be cared for at least tonight, and maybesomeone can find a longer term help for him.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Positive thoughts

but no deep thoughts on Lisa's essay yet.

At the dr. We talked a lot about the medication and what my fears are. He was so respectful of my opinion. Instead of going witht he complete appetite suppressant med we are going to try a different blood sugar controlling med that has a side effect of mild appetite suppressant. He gave me two weeks worth of samples, so I will try that and see how it goes with that. We also talked a lot about how incidents like yesterday's bad customer experience or worrying about Michael's problems are maybe causing me to binge again. He is suggesting I do a really mild mood drug to help me through these times, instead of just the anti-anxiety drugs upon occasion. I told him I'd have to think on that. I think I will do done thing at time. and first is trying the new Blood sugar drug for its two weeks and then I'll go from there.

SO positive thoughts on respect from my dr. and more options than I thought with medication and controlling my illness and weight.

Link to LIsa's Blog post.

I hope to get a chance later to write more on this subject. I need to nap now and let some narcotics wear off, then Michael has a cello lesson and some other things I have to be fit to drive for. Three people at the dentist's office asked me if I was okay to drive so I must have looked really out of it. Now I have eaten a little sandwich and sat up for a while and had a (non alcoholic) drink so I will go lie down and let the medicines do their magic.
(Note any poor Scrabble moves I made in the last 15 minutes were due to drugs. Any exceptional Scrabble moves were due to supreme intelligence)

Monday, January 12, 2009

True Beauty...

My friend Lisa who works in the beauty industry wrote in her blog today about true beauty. She write some very insightful things. Lisa, if you read this, can I post a link to your writing?

It really made me think about my own appearance and also my appearance relating to fatness. I go to my fat dr. tomorrow and he wants to put me on medication for appetite control. I want to talk to him really frankly about my concerns and see what he says. I think I am going to go for it and see what happens. I have a lot of fear, though.

I had a VERY BAD and MEAN customer today. After it was over I ate compulsively the rest of the day. I was so calm the entire time I was dealing with him. BUT whenever I have somebody yelling at me and swearing it flashes me back to living with Ed and I get very upset inside. This guy was so bad that security was called. I finally said to the customer, "Mr McMillan, right now I think you need to take your copies of you paperwork and leave." He did. If he hadn't left I was going to ask Tim to ask him to leave and ask Judy to call the police. (This was all over a bad check for $33.00 he had written us). The guy called me back about 10 minutes after he left and cried and apologized. I think he really has a mental problem, which in a way makes me feel sorry for him, but also in a way scares me even more because he could be very unstable and kill himself tonight or come in and kill me tomorrow - all over $33.00. Very scary.

So after today it may be hard to have positive thoughts, but here is a positive thought. Katie came back today and we went to the grocery tonight. I much prefer going with someone else. It's more fun and even though sometimes it requires something like letting somebody else pick which type of margarine it is all around better.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Online Dating...

I have met some men from online and a couple of them have become friends, a couple of terrible dates, a couple were fun, but nothing lasting...

I have discovered some things:
I hate it when men call women "ladies."
It is important to me that a man writes well when emailing.
Men with motorcycles ALWAYS have a picture of their bike somewhere on the profile.
If a man says "prefer not to say" for just about anything, I'm not interested. I think he's hiding something (probably a wife or a drug habit).
If a profile is not complete same as above.
A man doesn't have to have a college degree to be intelligent and have a good job... conversely a degree guarantees neither intelligence nor gainful employment.
A lot of men are good parents and really dedicated to their children, even if they don't have custody.
Motorcycle = picture of bike: Dog = picture of dog.
There are men who are honestly attracted to fat women and think it is sexy.
Some men email great, but can hardly talk in person.
Some men talk well on the phone, but can hardly talk in person.
Some men can't communicate in any way.
Some men will use a picture from 1982 if they have balded, gained weight, or changed appearance in some way that upsets them.

Lots more. and I am sure the same goes for women...

The wedding.

It was quite nice. It was at the theatre for the Bloomington Playwright's Project and that was the theme all around. Act one was a re-enactment of how they met and it was very cute. Act two was the vows by the bride and groom and they were sweet. Act three was comments or speeches by the wedding party or families or guests, whoever wanted, and they were clever and touching. Then the officiator pronounced them married and it was over. The programs were like a playbill, even with "ads" on the back by those who did the hair, makeup, food etc. (sheesh! nothing about dress blinging!).

It started LATE, and right before it started Pat texted me telling me why he wasn't there with me which his problem is a BIG DEAL, but I will keep it private right now. So I left right after the ceremony for two reasons: to go call Pat and talk right away, AND because I hadn't eaten and I knew I wasn't going to be able to have cheese and crackers and artichoke dip and veggies and be satisfied. So I left and talked to Pat for a while and went and got REAL MEAT, then returned to the theatre after about an hour, hour and a half. Things had settled down and it was mostly to the start-cleaning-up stage. (stage, har!). So I played with the karaoke machine for a while and sang to everybody else around me as they worked. I also entertained some of the children by blowing up balloons for them to pop. I finally got off my arse and went to dry dishes in the kitchen/set workshop! So I stayed until 11:30 or midnight, helping.

When I got home I just entered my food on FitDay and went to bed and slept straight through the night for once! I am sitting here contemplating church, but thinking probably not. I should look at the site and see what the sermon is about today, maybe that will help me decide. I need to go to Indy to pick up Michael this afternoon AND I have a jacket I have to take to Heather so I have to find her at chcurch or go all the way up to her apartment and I just kind of feel like taking it easy. Church means putting on real clothes (kind of, I actually usually wear jeans), but at least getting dressed and ready soon, and I think I want more home time first. Because if I do go to church I will already be on the north side of town and I would just want to go from I'll just see... maybe I'll return and report later.

If not, positive thoughts for today are on choosing carefully to do what feels right for ME and on picking Michael up so I know he will get home at a decent time and we will get some nice time to talk and be together in the car.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Do dishes and regular household maintenance (I actually do that every Saturday, but don't put it on the list, it's just a given) Mostly done, can complete tomorrow.
Dump! Done.
Clean out car a little bit. Done.
Go to store and look for a sweater to wear to the wedding. Found something with sparkly things!
Do the food for the wedding as offered (just heating up some stuff and taking it) In the oven now.
Get pretty and go to the wedding. I was already pretty, I know, but now I have on makeup and stuff, too, and get this - panty hose! It's been a long time since I've worn those, probably the last wedding I attended and they are already divorced!

Adding - unfortunately I have a headache now. I took some medicine and I hope it goes away. I'd really like to relax and enjoy this evening.


After I went back to bed I slept really late!

I am making a limited list for the day:
Do dishes and regular household maintenance (I actually do that every Saturday, but don't put it on the list, it's just a given)
Clean out car a little bit.
Go to store and look for a sweater to wear to the wedding.
Do the food for the wedding as offered (just heating up some stuff and taking it)
Get pretty and go to the wedding.

The end.

Positive thoughts are that the wedding should be good, even though I am becoming less comfortable with this particular crowd of people as I evolve a little bit. I think it will still be a fun time.

Bike Culture in Bloomington

If you go to the above site there are videos of some of the guys doing bike tricks and other cool stuff. Michael now has a "fixed gear" bike (he made it!) which is the kind you use for some of those tricks...It terrifies me even though at the same time I think it's cool.
The video of the "Alley Cat poker run race" you can see Michael riding away in the crowd... he has the white helmet and a blue shirt. He is the one listed as finishing as number 10...

I'd say go down a few videos and watch the one in black and white. It's pretty cool. The shots through the circle sculpture with the riders behind it are very nice. The building in the background is our art museum which is a fantastic building deigned by architect I.M. Pei.
Adding: the one at the bottom called "Hidden Lakes of Moonshine" is a little faster moving and shows lots of cool and scary tricks. All the locations are in Bloomington and the shots where the riders are going down the hill are out by Lake Griffy where I like to hike.

Michael found out that GT (although they are not GT anymore, they're "High Ability") students can create a class for themselves. He is applying to make a class out of his work at Community Bike Project. There are certain requirements - have to have a mentor, keep a written log and journal, make a report... I hope it gets approved. That way he could continue in an activity he is already doing, but be able to do it with school time, so cut down on his time crunch. He is supposed to have an appointment with his counselor and the "High Ability Student Coordinator" next week to discuss the plan. I am really pleased with Michael. He thought this all up himself and went to the counselor and started setting it up. I was cynical when he first talked to me about it, but now I am really excited for him and hope it works out well.

It's 3:25 a.m. I was SO freaking tired. I fell asleep maybe a little after 10 and woke up about an hour ago. I took my nighttime meds and got a drink and I'm kind of hoping I start getting sleepy again soon.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Okay I am obssessive today, maybe.

but this is big news.


When I took the cheesecake to drop off Jane told me somebody donated a full scholarship for him. I burst into tears, of course. This is really the opportunity of a lifetime (so far).

I feel a little guilty telling blogland before I tell Michael, but if he had arrived home on time... he has time issues, but that's not the worst problem yu could have with a seventeen year old kid, right?

So today's positive thoughts are definitely HUGE WAVES of gratitude toward some generous donor.

Tired of me today?

On Nov.15, the Bloomington American Legion Post 18 hosted a benefit breakfast for the Hoosier Youth Philharmonic in support of their trip to France in June. The HYP Students will be performing for the 65th anniversary of D-Day and the invasion of Normandy at the American Cemetery. The HYP performed for the large group of supporters from Monroe and surrounding counties. More than 300 people were served that morning. Mike Pate presented director Jane Gouker and her HYP family with a donation of $2,500.


I went to Dollar general on my lunch yesterday and all the Christmas stuff was 70% off. No applause this time on restraint, BUT I bought a tablecloth with a BLUE background and SNOWMEN for like ninety cents and THREE boxes of the ornaments that I bought earlier in the season and really love. I have never been one for "themed" trees, but next year I may do the tree in all sliver and blue and white, or maybe I will have to get another tree to do. :) I think I will spend part of the year cutting out new snowflakes. Most of the ones I use are over 10 years old and are starting to yellow. Hint: the secret to a perfect six pointed snowflake is a 30 degree angle!


When measuring the hemline of a dress to apply rhinestone accents and basing the spacing of the rhinestones on the limited number of rhinestones available, be sure the skirt of said dress is sewn in only two panels when you measure from seam to seam, because if it is sewn in THREE panels, you will leave out a section and end up 16 rhinestones short...If you are lucky, the 16 short will be in the back under the bustle and you will be able to use the smaller size rhinestones without it being too noticeable. Phew!

Dress was completed blinging at 11:38 last night... Renee came over and got it and was happy with it. We didn't take pictures last night, but there will be plenty taken at the wedding and I will post.

Cheesecake was finished last night.

Ed and I traded driving so I do NOT have to go to Indy tonight. I am glad. I am SO tired. Speaking of tired. I sent Michael back to doctor and they did a gazillion dollars worth of tests on him...Dr. says she thinks Michael has Seasonal Affective Disorder and I need to buy one of the light boxes for him to sit under for two hours and day and he needs more exercise. Hah! He rides his freaking bike outside for like 20 miles every day. Sigh. So basically, he’s tired. I am going to make him quit Science Olympiad after the invitational next week, I think.

I am worried that Michael is really depressed and needs drugs. That scares me, though because it was taking anti-depressants that threw Ed into his first bout of mania. So basically, I am terrified that Michael is bi-polar and I am having heart spasms and trouble breathing

Thursday, January 8, 2009

blog, blog, blog Day 2.

I have A LOT to do tonight!

Must bake at least one cheesecake, and possibly two and maybe an apple cake too.

95 inches of hemline to bling.

Had fun at work today. Gillian and I were really getting into pretending we had Indian accents because we work in a call center (although Gillian doesn't really take calls like I do) and it was hilarious. For a while I had it posted on my Facebook as a status thing, but then I was afraid somebody would be offended. You all already know I am offensive...

Positive thoughts today for me completing at least a couple of these tasks!

And now Michael says he needs the computer for homework. Sheesh! what a spoiled, rotten kid.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Blog, Blog, Blog....

Is that enough?

Tired again. Tonight I am going to do my one mile muscle walk video and then begin "blinging" Renee's dress which is for Erica's wedding this Saturday. Ummm... I have a great design in my mind, but haven't started yet.. I also have to make a cheesecake tomorrow night, then drive Michael to Ed's Friday and wedding is Saturday. I need to get to work and not sleep for a few days....

Positive thoughts toward accomplishing these things.

Katie is going to take a picture of it plain and then blinged so y'all can see.

I wrote to Ann today wondering if we can try to get together next time she comes north. Oh, if we could. I need a hotel night and soon! It would be worth driving to Columbus O to have Ann involved in a brief escape. The conflict may be that when she goes there it is to work. But hey, people get lunches and dinner when they work, right? If I can't set something up with Ann I may go down to the Spring Mill Inn again and do it.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Citizen Kane.

Yeah. We "watched" it during and after dinner tonight. I slept after about the first fifteen minutes, I awakened a couple of times to utter, "Rosebud," then fell right back to sleep. Fortunately, I did not die after my utterances. So I am sleepy, skipping my fifteen minutes tonight, and haven't completed any household tasks. At least Katie did the dinner dishes. If I go out and work I can finish putting up the Christmas tree and putting things back in place.

Positive thoughts...I'll be happy to have a less cluttered house.

Hmmm I need milk to drink. I will have to go add that to my FitDay and it is getting easier to see why I am having trouble losing again!

Monday, January 5, 2009

I don't have a title.

I worked hard today. I am tired, as usual, but a well-earned fatigue.

Cory (My Ad Director/ boss) walked up today and joked about there being video on YouTube of me dancing and drinking with Pat... interesting. I wonder who is telling Cory that I even go out with Pat. It's not a secret or anything and I know I post pictures on Facebook and here, but I don't think Cory would even be interested in my social life unless somebody else started the conversation. Things that make you go Hmmm... By the way that phrase "go out with" means go out with, NOT date as in boyfriend/ girlfriend. Neither of us has a desire to make it a long-term or serious relationship. So there.

Positive thought for today is that I am really happy to have a busy day where I feel like I earned my pay.

AND Katie is back so when Michael gets home from Bike Project we will open Christmas gifts. Good for the fun of that, plus good then I will put away the tree and stuff and get the house less cluttered.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Weight Loss videos & today,

I haven't done too many things on my list today. I got up and went to church then I went to Target to get my medicines, paid my car insurance, went to Aldi and spent $102!! Came home and put away the cold stuff. I have been gradually putting away the groceries, making and eating food and somewhere in there snuck in a LONG nap. Huh - snuck is spell checked, I guess I sneaked a nap in the real world, but in southern Indiana I snuck one in!

At Target I walked the store to look for good clearance sales. I did NOT buy anymore Christmas decorations or wrap (everybody applaud!). I went over to look for the Yoga video I really want (Stress Relief Yoga). It is the video that started me on the road to my large weight loss a few tears ago. I got into the habit of doing that little bit of time for myself EVERY night and it went from there into a 52 pound loss... They still don't have it on DVD, BUT all the fitness videos are on sale for all the New Year's resoluters in the world. I bought a 3 video set of Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds. Her three mile walk video was also a large part of my previous weight loss. If I couldn't go walk the trail I would do that video at least once and sometimes twice. I have one of her on DVD that is an easy one mile walk and a "Brisk" (means may kill you if you're fat) two mile walk. I often do the one mile walk for my exercise (well I say often, but you know I suck at it lately, but if I DO exercise, that's usually what I do) and repeat the easy one mile walk twice if I am inspired or especially motivated. This set has three videos. They are designed to focus on building muscle as well as the activity. I am going to do the "Muscle One Mile" tonight and see how it goes. I know that building muscle will help me. I do not weigh as much as my highest weight ever (234). I guess I am actually about 20 pounds below that. I am BIGGER and FLABBIER, however. I know building mu muscle back up will help with my metabolism, weight loss, and ultimately all my illnesses and aches and pains.

My chicken is probably about done so I must go check it and eat.

So positive thought for today is Motivation! I have done it before. I know I can do it again. I have a lot on the line with my health and the long-term goals I want to achieve.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Day is done... Gone the sun

Oh! Well the sun was never really here today anyway!

It's close to 10:00 and I feel ambiguous about what I have and have not accomplished today.

Trash to dump. Nope - once it started raining- Fageddabowdit!
Assemble new DVD/CD shelf. Done
Organize CDs/DVDs on said shelf. Sort of, but there are no more piles.
Clean purple room and get it ready for Katie again. Mostly, still working on washing bedding and need to get the table cleaned off.
Finish wrapping Christmas gifts. (Yes, I know it's AFTER Christmas. There are a couple of people I haven't seen yet!) Nope, maybe I can still do this tonight if I watch a movie or TV.
Put away all Christmas wrapping stuff. Nope
Take stuff to Opp House or in worst case - Goodwill - just get it out of here! No Opp House run today. It will have to go to Goodwill tomorrow. It's the only place open to accept donations on Sunday.
Put away all Christmas decor except large tree. Almost - getting the dishes switched now.
Bake cookies for Chris and Jim and Will. Nope.
Finish reading "Chocolat" and choose and begin next book. Yep. Picked an Alice Walker novel and am about 60 pages in.
Decide a new craft project and assemble materials and tools. Nope.
Clean out car and find all the stuff that fell out of my purse. Nope - haven't walked out the front door...
Organize purse! Nope.
Assess first part of uberlist for end of year. Nope.
Watch a movie or two hours of television each day. Nope. The point of this was to relax and not be productive so maybe the hour and a half nap counts!
Exercise at least 15 minutes each day. Danced for 18 minutes tonight.
Call Mom and Dad and check in.
Wash pillows off couch. Done.
Grocery shop.
Balance checkbook.
Talk to at least one person on phone (Steph or Heather). Loni called and I talked to her, so I didn't actually initiate human contact, but I did participate!
Go to Target and get medicine.

So some of the house stuff is complete. Tomorrow will have to be run around day, Target, Goodwill, grocery. Maybe I can do my walking in the mall and get some heavy breathing going. I am also considering church so maybe that will get me motivated to get dressed and go out.

I did start getting the leftovers out of the fridge that I think are too old. That will help me assess and do a proper grocery store run and make it easier to put it all away. I don't enjoy that part!

I made a pot of chili today and ate that, ate one meal of leftovers, and ate one meal of pasta and tomatoes. I've been wanting SWEET all day and keep being tempted to make chocolate pudding. I love hot chocolate pudding. I've resisted so far. I have some sugar free jello in the fridge, but compared to the idea of hot, homemade chocolate pudding, blecch. That's the problem with knowing how to make yummy treats and loving my own cooking too much! Sigh...

Weekend list.

The list is so ambitious I have decided it goes for the entire weekend, not just Saturday!

Trash to dump.
Assemble new DVD/CD shelf
Organize CDs/DVDs on said shelf.
Clean purple room and get it ready for Katie again
Finish wrapping Christmas gifts. (Yes, I know it's AFTER Christmas. There are a couple of people I haven't seen yet!)
Put away all Christmas wrapping stuff.
Take stuff to Opp House or in worst case - Goodwill - just get it out of here!
Put away all Christmas decor except large tree.
Bake cookies for Chris and Jim and Will.
Finish reading Chocolat and choose and begin next book.
Decide a new craft project and assemble materials and tools.
Clean out car and find all the stuff that fell out of my purse.
Organize purse!
Assess first part of uberlist for end of year.
Watch a movie or two hours of television each day.
Exercise at least 15 minutes each day.
Call Mom and Dad and check in.
Wash pillows off couch.
Grocery shop.
Balance checkbook.
Talk to at least one person on phone (Steph or Heather).
Go to Target and get medicine.

I would rather stay home and not speak to ANYONE all day. I am in one of those moods. It's just been a big week or two and I am tired and need my alone time. Alone? You may ask. Yes, Emily decided she wanted to go back to W. Lafayette so last night I drove Michael to Greenfield, then up to Lafayette with Emily, took her to the store to get some food, took all her stuff to her apartment, then sat just for a few minutes and started back to Bloomington about 11:30. Emily asked me to stay, but I just felt like being HERE and waking in my own bed. I was so tired I had to sleep in a truck stop for an hour. I also stopped and got gas, stopped and got a shake and stopped to walk around a drug store... I got home about 3:30 this morning and slept until about 10:30.

I think the only thing with a time limit on my list is the dump run. Everything else I am going to just try to be mellow, do my increment method and see what happens. Ambitious as I am I realize I am still recovering from the sinus and ear thing, some stressful holidays, work changes, etc and I need to honor and respect if my body cries for a nap or something. I am also going to make the homemade food rule for the weekend, (Unless Pat offers!). :) I'm off to a good start with the homemade, but it hasn't been too healthy yet. I will work on that and on making it FIBERLICIOUS, too! (Thanks Lisa, great word.)

About blogging. I don't know if I will "join" Blog 365 or not this year. I do think I would like to continue in the vein of "Happy fors." I may just call it "positive thoughts" this year. No decision yet. The positive thought for today is that I don't have to decide right away. I'll do it when I am good and ready. So there!

Friday, January 2, 2009

For the Luddites...

who can't read the Word 2007 document if you were an email recipient, rather than a snail mail recipient. I guess it is time to share it with the world. Sadness is, it doesn't look as pretty here. I think I will also post as a note on Facebook.

December 2008 The Year in Letters – Because I didn’t write any REAL letters this year!

A: Advertising - after a year and half as “Public Notice Specialist” Hope is selling advertising again. Welcome back to life on commission. Sigh
B: Biology Education - Emily’s major.
Bicycling - Michael’s obsession
Betta Fish – Hope’s only remaining pets.
Blogging – Hope has almost accomplished blogging 365 days this year!
C: Cat – Miss Kitty Fantastico is now living happily with Emily in West Lafayette
Cello – Michael’s instrument
Climbing – Michael’s other passion.
D: Damn Dogs - FOUR next door, barking and stinking twenty four hours a day.
E: Exchange student – not a favorable experience this time around. He was supposed to stay the entire school year, but returned to the Ukraine after about three tortuous weeks.
F: Friends, Family, Fun – all things we appreciate and try to time for in our active lives.
France – Michael’s orchestra is preparing for a trip to France. We don’t know yet if he is going to get to go because of…
Fund raising and Finances - for said orchestra trip, solar bike team , AND Science Olympiad. Sigh…
G: Garden – Mixed success this year. We can never have enough green peppers and tomatoes.
Grape Tomatoes - extremely wonderful this year.
H: Halloween – the only night Hope didn’t blog - fell asleep while waiting for trick or treaters.
Hippie Boy – Hope’s affectionate nickname for Michael.
Hair – you should see Michael’s luscious locks – part of the inspiration for Hippie Boy moniker.
I: Income – never enough!
J: Japan – Michael’s Solar Bike team was supposed to go for a race this summer, but the trip has been postponed until 2009.
K: Karaoke!
Knitting - lots for Hope and a little for Emily.
L: Love, Laughter.
“Lost” Hope watched two seasons of it while sick.
M: Management in the Life Sciences Industry – Hope earned a Professional Certificate from Indiana University Continuing Studies. No new job yet, sadly.
N: New Mexico – Hope is still dreaming of relocation and working on financial and professional goals to make it possible.
O: Orchestra – lots of concerts and special ensembles for Michael this year as he strives to be an extremely active and dedicated orchestra member. See
Office Lounge- a favorite karaoke venue
P: Pneumonia – Hope started out the year with a bang – well, more like a gurgle and a cough – with a terrible case of pneumonia. One time when Ms. Hyper did not have to be told to stay in bed – couldn’t get out!
Purdue – Emily’s school. Finishing her senior year and getting ready for student teaching.
Passport – I made Michael spend all his money he was saving for amplification of his cello for his own passport for the then-cancelled Japan trip, but now he’s ready for next year!
Q: Quizzes – aka “Memes” online. Hope has completed many of them through the year. They are often good writing prompts for blogging.
R: Recumbent bike – the kind Michael likes to ride in the solar bike race.
Rush and Rusted Root – Concerts Michael was able to attend this year. Hope also got to go to Rusted Root later in the year.
Reading – Lots for everybody.
Reunion – Hope has an idea to try to make a Pechin reunion, but hasn’t been very good at it yet.
S: Solar Bike – an event where nerdy teenagers affix solar-powered motors to bicycles to make them go faster so they are even more dangerous.
Surgery – Hope had some surgery in August to correct some chronic problems. Outpatient surgery is a cruel joke perpetrated on patients by the medical profession.
Scrabble – one of Hope’s favorite online time wasters, but wait! It’s intellectually stimulating right?
T: Tears – there are always a few throughout the year.
Temper Tantrums – some of those too (usually Hope).
U: Unitarian Univeralist – Hope’s new favorite church.
Uberlist – Hope’s amazingly ambitious set of goals each year. This year was 108 for 2008.
V: Vegetarian – Michael – lacto/ovo, no fish nor poultry.
Visitors – Hannah, Sarah, Lyla, McKayla and Jaxon, Heather , Mom and Dad, Paul, Ti and Rachel, Chris, Katie (the friend, not the niece), probably others too!
W: Water: -Michael went canoeing down the Blue River with the Boy Scouts.
X: X- rays – used to diagnose pneumonia, even though I could hear it in my chest and knew I had it!
Y: Yahoo! We all have Yahoo! Email addresses if you want to write us.
Hope –, Michael -, Emily –, but DON’T send us any of those crazy forwards, please.
Z: Zoo – Hope has wanted to go all year, but hasn’t been yet. I have never been since they redid the Dolphin Pavilion and I am really sad about it. Emily and Michael both got to go this summer.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Emily and Me last night

One more thing

about drunk girl: She was wearing a tank top and little pants and it was only 14 degrees out!

I am being SO lazy today. Michael is going to have a cello lesson in an hour and a half and I don't want to leave the house. I am still in my jammies right now. I told myself I would get dressed at 4:30.

I didn't finish the book...

so you know the "P word" side of me is irritated with myself. But 34 out of a goal of 35 is still acceptable. I think that is part of what the uberlisting has taught me, that it's okay to just try your best and accept that sometimes every goal either cannot be accomplished, or accomplished in the allotted time frame. Also, the long list has taught me that some things are just not as important as I think they are. For example, "Find or make a covering for the kitchen window" has been on the list for three years, yet never accomplished. AS I washed dishes the other night and watched the forest through the window I realized that I probably never do it because I really don't want it covered! So that one will come off the list this year! Of course, then I will probably create some fantastic thing for the window...

Dad is out of hospital. I guess they decided it was probably a mild heart attack, but couldn't really tell. They told him he needs to start walking. I talked to Mom about them going to the mall and walking and she sounded really receptive to it. Their mall is owned by the same company that our is and they have an official program and it sounds really nice for a lot of the older people.

Last night was interesting... Michael wanted to go to Gillian's party, but not stay until midnight. Emily didn't want to go out until later, so Michael and I went to Gill's then about 9:30 I came home to trade. Before we went back to Gillian's I called Pat and he said he wanted to come with us, so we drove by Jake's and picked him up because he had been drinking. When we got back to Gillian's MANY of the people had already left and it was kind of too relaxed of an atmosphere for Pat. Emily said she didn't care where we went as long as she got to drink for free. I said I didn't care as long as we were somewhere at midnight and not driving around in the car. We went to the Office Lounge and were there at midnight. They had the WORST, NASTIEST sparking wine EVER for the toast. It seemed like a really different crowd than usual, like the average age was 65... so we just had one drink (and even my diet Coke didn't taste good last night - strange!) and the midnight toast and left. We went to Jake's, which I usually hate. It is more of a dance club and they have "Retro Night" all the time with old music. I didn't hate it as much as usual. I enjoyed watching everyone and danced some and we saw some other people and it was okay. Pat drank too much as usual, true to his Irish Catholic roots... Emily drank too much... That's the problem with going our with Pat and he always pays for everything... Emily ran into a gaggle of friends from HS, though. I was glad she didn't have to hang out only with us old people all night. Even after Pat left I stayed much later just so Emily could be with them for longer. Finally at 2:30 I decided I couldn't take it anymore. We left and when we went to the car there was a girl on the sidewalk so drunk she couldn't stand up. We sat and watched her for a while and I decided if she really couldn't stand up I was going to call 911 because she was probably in need of medical attention, even if they would arrest for for public intoxication. She finally managed to stand up so we drove her (and her asshole boyfriend, who had walked off and LEFT her in that condition) home. Emily said we should go back today and put a note on her apartment door saying, "Break up with Cameron. He is an asshole who treats you like shit." And even though Cameron is young and had been drinking too, there is no excuse for treating someone like that. Pat drinks too much and he is NEVER not nice in any way. Emily has been drunk with her friends and her friends have called me and told me what is going on, where she is, and asked me to come and get her on one occasion, when all Emily would say was, "I want my mommy." So yeah, Cameron was an asshole who left a drunk girl on the sidewalk, but drunk girl was nice enough to him to ask us to stop and pick him up when he didn't deserve it!

So after all that, I was awake until after 3:00 in the morning, but slept straight through until 8:30 and then went back to sleep until 11:00. I am too old for all that. I am glad Emily got to see some friends. She hasn't really hung out with them much since she's been home. I am also glad we got drunk girl home safely. I hope she didn't die of alcohol poisoning in the night. then I would regret my decision to not call 911. I hope Emily learns soon that you don't have to drink to have a good time, but I probably don't set the best example. I usually don't drink when we go out, the night after Halloween was a strange exception, but I do go out with Pat all the time and he drinks when we go out. That is one reason Emily doesn't mind going out with us old people while she is here, because she and Pat are kind of drinking buddies AND he has enough money to pay for everything. He always just opens a tab at the bar and then it's kind of like anything is okay. I probably ought to not take her with us when we go, even though she is old enough now. The reason she doesn't really want to hang out with her HS friends is a good one, though, a lot of them use drugs and she doesn't want to be around that... maybe the day she realizes alcohol is also a drug, it will hit her. Perplexed mother decisions to make here maybe... I think this is one case where even though I don't want the black and white thinking of NO ALCOHOL EVER OR YOU ARE UNWORTHY, I need to determine better what is my particular shade of gray.

The end, Michael wants to use the computer and I want to check H-T online and make sure there's no headline about drunk girl found dead in her apartment.