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Monday, January 26, 2009

Other people's issues.

Michael has been having issues with his cello teacher. We JUST found out we had the date wrong for solo/ensemble - thought it was in two weeks, but it is THIS weekend. Cello teacher has been stressing out anyway because she feels like Michael hasn't been practicing well or enough. She has called me and talked to me about it and I really don't know how to respond and I really don't remember what I did say. I know at one point a couple of weeks ago I told Michael if he is not going to do what she says there is no reason for me to continue to pay for lessons. He said he hates the piece he is working on, he doesn't want to play classical pieces anymore and he wants a rock or jazz teacher. I went so far as to put an ad in the paper and to look for one, but we didn't get any replies. I figure the next step is to get with Dr. Baker's daughter April, who was Emily's violin teacher and ask her if she can contact her dad to see if one of his students is looking for students. (David Baker - Google - he is a famous jazz cellist, composer and teacher).

So anyway...Shelley called tonight and Michael told her how we had found that we had the incorrect date on the contest. She was totally freaking out... They talked for like twenty minutes and then she asked to talk to me. To her standards, if you don't KNOW you have your piece perfectly prepared and will go and get a first, you don't go do it. To Michael he wants to go and do it and see how it goes and get more experience performing and learn from what the judge says. They had been arguing about it all that time. So Shelley told me all this and I finally just said something like, "Look, I have been uninvited to lessons. I don't know how you two communicate anymore. All I do is provide the ride and write checks. I think Michael just has to decide if he wants to play, and you have to decide if you want to go and support him or not." I feel like Shelley is having trouble being authoritarian in her teaching and she wanted me to somehow intervene and make Michael see things her way. Well you know damn well I can't make Michael see things anybody's way but his own! Shelley was also angry that Michael had practiced with the pianist without her knowing today. I thought that was a GOOD thing, that as soon as we realized our error Michael made arrangements to get together with Nathaniel (child prodigy virtuoso pianist) to start practicing as soon as possible.

Now to her credit - Michael has told her how much he hates this piece (Schumann Fantasy Shtup --- no not really - that sounds like a Yiddish wet dream, but I don't know how to really spell it), and that he wants to start learning other types of music. She has been exploring for other teachers etc... to help him in his quest, but that all needs to happen after contest.... She knows a guy who is a jazz violinist and her idea is that Michael will have a lesson with her one week and then a lesson with this guy on jazz/ rock etc the other weeks and Shelly will attend those lessons in addition, so she can correct Michael on the cello technique part AND learn some of the jazz/ rock style in the meantime. I think that's a good idea. Of course there are financial worries with TWO teachers per lesson....

Other good cello news. Michael rebuilt a broken cello someone gave him and it sounds pretty good. He wants to add an extra string so it has more range. A guy put a tool on Freecycle that he mentioned specifically is good for someone working on musical instruments. So I tried to get it first and explained what it was for in my reply. He (Vlad, the offerer) said he already gave it away, BUT he would be glad to have Michael take the cello into his shop (!) and he might be able to help him add the string. I don't know for sure what kind of musician/ technician Vlad is, BUT he is Facebook friends with my friend Byron who is a (Child prodigy virtuoso, but grown up now) professional pianist so he is probably pretty high caliber. I probably ought to Google Vlad and get more info on him...

So sigh... I am stressed because of Michael and Shelley's problems. I really feel like it's an issue Shelly has about not knowing what to do as a teacher. In one manager seminar at the bank they taught us about not taking anybody else's monkey on your back... I need to NOT do that with this, but it's hard when your child is involved.

Positive thoughts are that SOMEHOW this will work out.

And I have had some positive RSVPs for my brunch, enough that I feel like even if everybody else says no, we will have a small, but interesting and diverse group of women to have great food and conversation. Woot!

editing to add: Here's about Vlad: http://www.indiana.edu/~gradgrnt/v17n1/Vlad.html

Here's about Dr. Baker: http://www.davidbakermusic.org/

Here's Byron: http://www.byronschenkman.com/

Isn't living in Bloomington great? (Except this damn winter cold!) Except really I have known Byron since we were twelve. He had the privilege of seeing me throw up in history class in seventh grade. I don't know where else in the world I could have so many great music teachers and experiences for my children unless I could live in New York, which is even colder and snowier!

3 comments:

Ann said...

(Queen of Unsolicited Advice Mode)

You give rides and write the checks. And you are NOT going to pay for two teachers at one lesson. You Can't Afford It. Period. If Shelley wants to sit in on the lesson with the other teacher so she can learn how to teach in that style she can do it on her own dime, not yours.

You are paying her for a service. She is to provide that service. If she is unable to provide that service, and refers you to someone who can, you don't need to pay her, too.

I will stop ranting now.

(/Queen of Unsolicited Advice Mode)

Deb said...

Yeah, what she said! My own first thought included a cuss word 'bout it.

Thank you, gracious and articulate Ann. xo

Hope said...

Yeah - I think so too. It may be a time when I will have to be firm with my own BOUNDARIES. We know BOUNDARIES are my issue.

And Deb, I kind of like cuss words. :)