June Minimalist Challenge #9

It is getting much harder. Although I have opened some boxes and taken out things I am far from finishing the challenge and far from having the room in the condition I want. I am going to have to open some boxes and make some more serious decisions. I am starting to remind myself more frequently that the question is "do I want to move this again?" Last night I opened a box and it had some sentimental stuff in it... a necklace that SOMEbody gave me from SOME trip SOMEwhere, but I don't recall WHO or WHERE or WHEN. There was a pencil cup one of the children, Emily, I think made from a juice can.... and a ISSMA medal that I think was one of mine.... and a bunch of little green pellets. It took me a few seconds to remember that was the mouse poison I had put out in the garage of the house. One of the little guys had stashed some away in a hidey place before his demise. I almost bet I will find some more of that... So tonight is 14 and there are fourteen items in the photo on the chair, but also those bonus items, from the mousie place that went out last night!

Mousie box, oh yeah, my college tassel was in there too!

Tonight's 14 items

and just because I really know how to make life fun! I dropped my hair dryer on my foot this morning! I still walked back from lunch and back home at the end of the day, which maybe was a bad choice, but I took yesterday off from exercise because I was depressed and really wanted to get back on the wagon today! I'm going to go take off my nail polish in a minute anbdsee if the nail is bruised. My vanity about my feet cares more about that than if it is broken or not...

So much for

posting daily, LOL!

I must not have been really committed to it or I would have done it.

On my vacation I injured my foot pretty badly, including one broken toe. I didn't get to do one thing that I wanted - a visit to junkadoo beach on Nassau. I did get to see Hemingway's house in Key West and was in fact, bitten by one of the cats! That night, the second day of the cruise was the night I broke myself! It was a good time anyway, warmer than Indiana, lots of food, naps, music, and fun.

I am going to make a not-quite-so-uberlist and want to have it complete by March 15. Goal.

So...

I thought I would start writing all the time again, but life has been pretty strange...

Work is hard. Kerri, the other full time rep has been on maternity leave.

I've been "seeing" a man whom I met on Friday, September 13. We do something probably two or three times a week. We've never had a fight. We are radically different in almost every way.

It is getting cold.

I've been reading again, something I miss.

They put a bunch of new shows on Netflix that are episodes of continuing series and I want to watch them. (Louie, How I met Your Mother, Portlandia)

Last Wed. Oct. 16 I was rear-ended in my car. It totaled the car and although I felt uninjured that day I grew a bruise on the top of my right foot and a sharp pain in the heel of my left foot... let's face it, the worst thing that could probably happen to me is something to make my feet hurt more... wait a minute: I know that is NOT the worst thing and is far from it, let's call it a very ANNOYING thing.  Also it freaked me out quite a bit and has been emotionally wearing. There have been a couple of nights I returned home from work and went straight to bed to either sleep or drown my sorrows in Netflix.

Heather is getting ready to marry Ian. The time I have been awake and not with Keith or reading or watching Netflix I have been obtaining and crafting some wedding items. Nothing big... I bought a simple veil, I have been buying and/or making potential hair ornaments, and I have been tying tulle bows on the handles of 200 little bottles of bubbles!

and now... It's time to retreat to my bed once again. As soon as I switch the laundry to the dryer I am going to go read until I am about asleep.

Good night!

I'm baa-aack....

My computer room is free! Free, I say!

It's super late now, but I just had to dip my toe in the water before I go to bed.

Last week I was stung by a wasp three times... This week on Saturday night a mysterious welt, looking much like a wasp sting showed up on my inner left forearm. It looks and feels like the wasp stings, except I didn't feel the initial sting, weird. It's still swollen...so I am going to take Benedryl and hit the sack. ..

Oh! We did Food Not Bombs Sunday. It felt great to be back in the park. 

I haven't got time for the pain.

People say that humans can't remember pain. It's probably mostly true, or no woman would ever have more than one child! Lately however, I feel like I do remember some pain and it is frightening me. A few weeks ago I sliced a finger on the edge of a tin can lid, doing something stupidly, but that's life. last week I nicked my thumb while slicing onions. I remember exactly how both of those felt, and I can see the events in my mind's eye and they keep playing over and over and.. you get the idea. I am getting scared of opening cans and slicing things. So far I haven't let it stop me from cooking or doing anything that I would usually do, but it is getting close. Neither of the cuts was even serious, not a lot of blood, no stitches, not even a visit to the ER. I don't know how to make myself stop thinking about them.

Similarly, I've had issues walking because I am afraid of falling or twisting my ankle. I think this comes from me thinking that my past two years of feeling crappier than usual are related to the physical and emotional energy I leaked after I sprained my ankles and broke my knee. I'm really frustrated that I am feeling good, but I am having this mental block to doing the movement I want and need to be doing to increase my health even more.

In better news I am having a cooking day with soup for a friend fighting cancer and some "Vampire cupcakes" that will ooze fake blood - I hope.

Answers,,,

Waaaaaaah!

Incredibly informative, yet witty post lost here by computer docu-cide!

It's too late, and I'm too tired to rewrite it!

Information points:

I went to Y before work and walked one seventh of a mile and pedaled 22 minutes.

I have a piece of a staple embedded in my foot.

I bought "drawing salve" and hope it will help the staple work out.

I did hardly anything on my list tonight, but I'm cool with it.

I watched Harry's Law for the first time and I liked it.

I am working on a toy drive and I worked a little on organizational issues for it tonight.

That's all I recall.

Oh, and I am tired.

Ya mon, no problem.

I know you want to see the blister. I can sense it.

Unbelievable!

I went to Dr. Karin today and she worked on my knee quite a bit. It still has a bruise. Gillian just asked me how it was yesterday and I said, "It still has a little shadow of a bruise." When I showed her she said, "That's not a shadow. That's a bruise!" Karen used her little "percussion" machine on it quite a bit. After she was done, the bruise had visibly faded a little more. I took a picture of it a few days ago, but it was hard to get the light right to show the bruise. I took those pictures on the 27 - what was that? Five days ago? I fell on December 19, so it has been about 10 weeks since the fall. Karin and I were talking about how I need to start exercising again. I started to put my shoes back on and noticed a weird bump on the ball of my foot. I took my sock off and there is a brand new blister! I have no idea why I got it. I was wearing shoes I have worn many times. I didn't do a lot of walking today, nothing. I did wear a new pair of socks today, but they are just like all the socks I wear, and I think I have even had this brand before. Tonight it has been hurting like crazy, every time I take a step! I feel like it be forever before I get to start exercising. I want to join the Y so I can use the pools. Even if I can only water walk or tread water it would be better than nothing! The Y is about $50 a month, though, and I just don't know if I can swing it. Sigh...

2010 Recap #2: Falling down.

Fall #1. If I recall correctly, this was in March. I may be wrong on that, but that is what seems right. My car was broken. I think this was when something was seriously wrong with the brakes. I drove it to the garage down the street a little ways, maybe half a mile or a mile from home. It was an unseasonably warm day, and had been raining all week. I was wearing flip-flops, I had actually taken off to go somewhere.. the store or somewhere else that didn't require serious shoes. It was on the way the THE NOISE started, so I just drove right to the garage. I started to walk home, despite bad shoe-ishness. I slipped on some mud right after I started and went down on the knee - right into more mud and gravel. There was gravel embedded in my knee. I tried to call Debbie for a ride at this point, but she didn't answer. I had to walk all the way home, which now was a BIG DEAL. By the time I reached home there was blood running down my leg. Picking out the gravel really hurt! I survived, but had a small scar afterward....
Then came... Fall # 2! (May) I was walking on the "Rails to Trails" trail with Garet. I must have turned my ankle and down I went landing on, you guessed it... my left knee again! The trail is cinder-type gravel, but no gravel stuck in this time. It was a much deeper wound this time!
Despite the knee wound being deeper, the more serious part was on the right side. I didn't even notice it at first because the knee hurt so bad. Once again, the walking home thing...by the time we walked a little way I realized my ankle kind of hurt along with the knee. By the time we actually got to the neighborhood it was pretty damn painful. I kind of wanted to ask Garet to go get the car and come back for me, but I didn't want to be a baby, so I kept on walking. Duh! Poor choice!
Fall #3. December 19. Michael got a well-paying, professional gig, playing for the Cardinal Stage Company production of "A Christmas Carol." As a performer he got comp tickets for one show so I got to go see him without spending the thirty bucks, YAY! After the show Michael, Travis (a fellow performer with Michael), and I were walking to the car. I unwittingly hit a patch of pure ice on the sidewalk, slipped and went down on... you guessed it... the left knee, followed by an equal and opposite reaction which then involved the left hip (my bad one, of course - everything that is bad on me is on the left side, no wonder left means "evil!"). This picture is two days after the fall. Please note the reddish-colored, triangular scar from Fall #2.
Strangely, however, that bruise didn't go away. It grew and grew, ultimately reaching all the way to my ankle. It was funny, though, I didn't really limp, didn't feel like I needed to. The knee was extremely tender to touch, however, and especially at the end of the day the joint inside was very sore and painful. Ten days after the fall it looked like this...
January 26 it looked like above, still a bump and some bruise, still sore, especially at night.
January 16 it looked like above. Sorry the pictures are out of order.

Somewhere in there, I think about two weeks after the fall I went to Dr. Karin. She worked on it, but it was so tender she didn't do too much. She said we'll let it heal some more and then explore it again. When I went back she touched it a little deeper and guess what... I totally screamed in her office! She said for it to still be that bad, there has to be a bone broken in there! Yes, you can break your knee! She said I could go get an x-ray if I wanted to confirm it. I asked if she would do anything differently if we had an x-ray and she said no, you don't cast knees. You have to keep your knee moving or you use mobility. If you're amazed I will back her up by testifying that when I broke my elbow - yes you can break your elbow too, and I saw the x-ray on that and it was broken literally to pieces - the orthopedic surgeon said the same thing about joints. As a matter of fact I went to physical therapy for the elbow for months and still lost a certain percentage of mobility. I saw Dr. Andry sometime in the last couple of weeks and he said the same thing about keeping it mobile. For some reason the fact that it is broken totally upset me. I saw her again today and she worked on it some more.

End of recap #2 in other health news...

I mentioned that I saw Dr. Andry. We have switched around my medicines again because I have been feeling SO bad. I haven't been able to go to the dancefit classes since about the second week of November... I was at hip-hop one night and became so ill I thought I was going to pass out or die. Apparently I looked like it too, based on the other class members' level of concern! In the end it took about four weeks to determine that it was a newly prescribed potassium supplement that made me so ill. Ironically, I was just starting to feel better from that when I fell and broke my knee! So I haven't been able to do much exercise when I had been doing about four fifty minute classes a week. I started with belly dance only three Mondays ago because it doesn't really have any impact, but even it makes my knee hurt by the end. I tend toward depression and probably have SAD. Last year I started buying full spectrum light bulbs and have one in every room (maybe two years ago - was that when Katie lived here?). This year, however, it is really bad. It is probably part of the reason I haven't been writing much. I cry a lot, my sleeping is off, my eating is strange - basically everything is wrong. One of the things we did - "we" meaning Dr. Andry and I - was decide that I need an anti-depressant, so I started Welbutrin. I have taken it before and it seemed to help. It's been about 10 days (I just looked at the bottle to figure that out, smart huh?). I don't really feel better yet. Most anti-depressants have a cumulative effect and Welbutrin is among them, so it might take a couple of weeks.

I saw Karin again today. The minute I walked into the office I started crying. I had a VERY BAD night last night. My left leg (see, the left side) has some kind of lymph problem and swells a lot. Yesterday it got bad while I was at work. I felt really bad. I went to bed early, but awakened in the night in a lot of pain. My leg and foot were so swollen that the skin was stretched so tight it hurt. Because I can't take the potassium supplement I had to cut back the diuretics, so now it has been long enough that my leg was terrible, despite a fantastically expensive "lymphatic drainage massage" thrown in there. At some point in the night I was bawling, and wanted to call Debbie and ask her to take me to the Emergency Room. At the same time I figured there was nothing they could do about it and it would cost a thousand dollars so I didn't do it. As Karin worked on my leg - not just my knee, she also did some lymphatic massage and stuff - I cried and talked. By the end of my visit I actually had an ankle again AND a diagnosis! I am going to copy the email I sent the her tonight below titled "It All Makes Sense"

"Adrenal Fatigue" + Menopause, or at least pre-menopause.. yesterday at work I had a moment when I said, "My gosh. I suddenly feel like I have a fever. Maybe this isn't just sinus, but a fever and I've really been sick all this time." I didn't even think to register "hot flash." Part of the reason I haven't been able to sleep is because half the night I am freezing and the other have I am burning up...

I think also instinctively I have known what nutrients I need... in the past couple weeks or so I have bought supplements of B-Complex, D-3, and magnesium and kept thinking I should start taking the fish oil again. Everything I have read lists so many of my symptoms I feel like screaming, "YES!" It makes me feel like I'm not just crazy, only a little bit crazy, but have something real, too. Too bad there's not a magic pill to make it all better.

It also makes sense that it would become worse since Michael moved away from home, not because of Empty Nest sadness, but because I haven't been cooking as much, and despite my goal of eating more whole foods, have been eating more processed foods and eating out more often. While he was at home, even when I was baking I was subbing almond meal and flax meal in baked goods to try to give HIM more fats. We'd also eat lots of quinoa and more whole grains... I think the last batch of quinoa I bought I haven't used one bit of.

After I left your office I didn't go back to work -which I had already planned and had okayed before I left. I went to the store to buy assorted unnamed beverages, came home and ate a little bit and drank some unnamed beverages and slept until about 5:30. I woke up and called Gillian because we had talked about going out tonight to the puppet show Michael was playing in for girl's night, but our plan had become ethereal by the time I felt so bad and left work. We decided not to go. I ended up feeling better after sleeping and talking on the phone to Gillian and another friend. I went to the puppet show and was amazed by the brilliance of my son and his friends and fellow performers. I also saw a guy who had been at the yoga workshop last night and felt positive enough to go over and talk to him. I told him I wanted him to see me when I was happy so he'd know I didn't cry ALL the time!

So now I am staying up too late, as usual - another symptom I noted!I plan to blog and then try to sleep again so I can feel better tomorrow.

THANK YOU for giving a name to the summary of all my symptoms. gave me a sense of relief in itself, PLUS something new to research on the internet. What fun! :)

So yeah, I am only a little crazy. Thank God/Goddess. I am going to talk to Dr. Andry about it too the next time I go. He will probably try to prescribe something else! I jokingly refer to him as "Prescriptions "R" Us" I have an essay in mind to write about him with that title. I DO think he is a good doctor, however. I think it's kind of funny because his father is a chiropractor and Dr. Andry Jr. has a big wooden plaque in his office with the quote all chiropractors display, about good medicine is about care of the spine, yet he became an allopathic M.D. and writes prescriptions like crazy.

"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease."

-Thomas Edison, Inventor

Well my goodness. It is incredibly late. Despite my sleeping this afternoon I need to get to bed. Somehow I thought making a mostly picture post would be quick. I should know better. At least this is my real self and not my sick, depressed self. Writing compulsively is the norm for me! I plan to post pictures of the puppet shows on facebook tomorrow. I thought I would do them tonight, but it's too late now. I will demonstrate a modicum of common sense! Surprised?

Good night!

Editing to add: "Unnamed beverages" refers to Gatorade. They make a sugar free version of it now. I have been drinking a quart of it every day because of the electrolytes and not being able to take the potassium. If your potassium gets too low wake-up-screaming-in-the-night leg cramps occur and they are NO FUN. Karin doesn't like me to drink it because of the sucralose. The "alternative medicine" crowd are VERY against artificial sweeteners.

Sigh...

I've intended to blog, really I have! Because of some medicine changes and my chronic conditions I have experienced severe fatigue the last couple of months. I have been able to make it to work all but one day. Usually after work I come home and sleep for a couple of hours. Then I get up and am active a couple more hours, then back to bed. I faked it through November for National Blog posting month, but I just couldn't pony up for writing this month. I think I have determined which medicine made it impossible for me to keep food inside long enough for it to digest. I have been off of it for about five days and already feel better and have much less bathroom time!

Also - you're not going to believe this - just as I decided I would start attending my dancefit classes again even if I could only make it through TEN minutes of each class I FELL DOWN. I landed on my left knee AGAIN. I didn't break the skin this time, but it is a whopper of a bruise, basically from my knee down to my ankle. I have some pictures of it. I also have some Christmas pictures in the camera that I want to share. I think I will make it a weekend goal to download the pictures and do a photo-based post. So watch out blogworld, zombie leg and snowmen coming your way soon. I did NOT take a nap tonight. I even kinda sorta cooked a little dinner so I have to go to bed soon so I can make it to work tomorrow.

My Favorite Things #8

The little one is sideways and I couldn't delete or rotate it so I shrunk in teeny-tiny and then added the big one!

I'm not sure if it's "Fair" to count something I made as part of my favorite things, but it's my blog and my decision, so there!

This is my Scrabble clock. It is the first clock I made when I decided I would try re-purposing found or used objects as clocks. I think I was so clever to spell out the numbers with tiles! I'm not only clever, I'm humble, huh? It's not my favorite clock I have made, that is probably the one I made from a record and gave to my dad last year. I would like to make another record clock soon. I also have some additional game boards to make more clocks similar to this one. You can find all kinds of used games and stuff at thrift stores and garage sales and such. I keep an eye out, but I try not to buy unless I think it's a really hard to find one or it is in perfect condition. My "Project to do" list and the materials I already have for projects to do far exceed the time I spend on them. To make the clock I purchased the clockworks and hands and stuff from the craft store. I mounted the board on foam core so it would be the correct thickness for the clock works, glued on the tiles, sprayed everything with a few good coats of polyurethane, and then added the clockworks. The end. I love it.

I've had a rough night.... I spilled my dinner everywhere and broke the bowl and splashed sauce and melted cheese on everything within about a six foot radius, strangely with the exception of the white shirt I was wearing! I'll make a separate post and show a picture of my glasses that were sitting on the table at the time. I don't know how to post and get it at the bottom now that I've already started writing. There has been some ice cream consumption and mindless television watching since the incident.... I also punched myself in the nose! I was fixing a part on the futon that came loose and my hand slipped and wham! It still hurts. No visible bruise yet. We'll see what it looks like in the morning. I felt pretty good at work all day and then about 4:30 utter fatigue struck. I had planned to go to a dancefit class, but instead I made a quick trip to the Dollar General (too tired to face Kroger) and then came home. Now I am going to take some medicine, drink some water and lie in bed and watch a movie until unconscious!

Less than 24 hours...

... and I will have an empty nest! Unless you count Ben, but he feeds himself. I don't have to chew his food first and puke it into his mouth like I do for Michael.

Michael is getting packed and ready to go for real. He wants to get to the dorms by 9:00. He figures that is before the big crowds will show up.

I sliced a finger just a little washing dishes tonight. I was thinking of asking Ben to come finish the dishes, even though he hasn't really cooked and eaten here much the past couple of days because his mom has been visiting. He came out of his room within thirty seconds (honest) of my thought and offered to do the dishes tonight! Scary or what?

Erin gave me a compliment today about list making. She wrote in her blog about my list making. She also made what she called "Hope-worthy" lists of things to do. I think her lists are really massive! She made about 20 days worth of my lists! I made sure to caution her that not completing each task is GOOD. It indicates knowing about setting priorities and making good choices!

Speaking of which - because I sliced my finger just a little tonight while washing dishes all items remaining on my list except "Watch something fun" and "Toes" are now deleted for the evening. SO I am going to go to my room, turn on the electronics, get out the manicure set and ACHIEVE, baby!

Random various assortment Attempt #2

Sprained ankle the night it happened. Owie! It's hard to tell in this picture, but that bruised bump was swollen about one and a half inches above usual skin level.

The new hole in the knee. Deeper this time, I think, but I didn't have to actually pick gravel out of it like last time.

The big screen in the stadium at University of Illinois. The Assemble Hall looks like a giant flying saucer - no kidding! I should have taken a picture of the exterior.

Seniors and coaches of Bloomington South Science Olympiad for Nationals. Michael wore his beautiful suit coat, but wore the blue, double knit turquoise houndstooth checked pants with it. Sigh...

This is what it is like in Northern Indiana where I came from.* * Disclaimer - this is actually in Illinois because when I was was in Indiana flatlands I was on the interstate and couldn't safely stop for a photo shoot, but it is the same topography.

This is South Central Indiana where I stayed. Whenever we drive through this area the first stanza of this poem comes to my head:

"Contentment"
When you ask why I dwell here docile among the far green hills,
I laugh in my heart. My heart is happy.

The peach-blossom watches the river running, but remains content.
There is a better heaven and earth than the busy world of men.

Li Po as translated in The Jade Flute: Chinese Poems in Prose, Peter Pauper Press 1960

Michael with the mellow yellow cello on Senior Honors Night, May 17.

Michael getting his awards on Senior Honors Night.

Garet and me. It looks like I adore him or something, doesn't it?

Ow! Whine. Cry.

Garet and I were walking and I fell down AGAIN. I landed on the same knee as last time and reopened the almost-healed wound. I ALSO sprained the ankle on the other side and hurt my wrist. It was an extremely hard fall - I managed to get all those injuries even though I rolled on one shoulder. We were pretty far away from home and I had to walk home. By the time we turned into the neighborhood the sprained ankle felt like it was burning with every step. I took pictures of the beautiful lump on my ankle, but I couldn't get the picture program into download mode and it made me bawl. Michael just brought some frozen corn for my ankle so I am icing it some more. I took 800mg of Ibuprofen and some tranquilizers so as soon as I start to feel the drugs more than the pain I am in bed. It happened right as I was thinking to myself how good I felt and how I would be able to make to the end of the trail and back just like the old days.

I also had determined that I absolutely must get the bathroom floor finished and the sink plumbed before the graduation party on June 6. Now I won't be able to get down on my knees for another month again. I am going to have to pay someone to do it for me, which I really cannot afford.

I must keep reminding myself that this is all trivial shit. It feels big to ME, but then I think of my friend Laura, whose teenage daughter has cancer and their emergency room run today was for something horrible like a feeding tube slipping out of place.

Good Day, good day, good day, good day... OOPS!

For Deanna, who loves pictures of wounds.

Boy home safely from Prom at 2 am.

Storms through the rest of the night - slept off and on until about 10.

Got up and made a delicious breakfast - looked up title of church sermon and decided to stay home.

Started cleaning and reading intermittently. One little snag... Michael's gazillion dollar graphing calculator went berserk and new batteries didn't fix it. AP Calc and physics tests are this week. Sigh of relief - he says he is sure he can borrow one for the tests.

Started knitting hats again. Happiness. I feel good that I will have a supply to donate when it gets cold this fall. I missed that last year.

Dear Garet popped over to pick up his phone he left last night (thank you, Freud, for making me feel good about that). We had a nice chat and he left to do some work with a promise to return.

Started baking banana bread... looked out the window and noticed car has a flat. Yay! I have a boyfriend who is coming back! After all the flat tires I have changed in my life I may not have to do this one.

Looked on Hulu and found Episode 1 of this season of "Lost" has been put back on. It is the ONLY one I missed seeing in sequence and I substituted reading a few recaps online, which is FAR inferior to actual viewing. YAY!

Banana bread is about done. Boyfriend returns. I send people with Y chromosomes out to change the tire. Tire will not come off the car... WHAT THE ****? I have changed MANY a tire on this decrepit Ford Escort and never had a problem with a tire not coming off!

Banana bread is done. We all eat some. Garet has to leave and finish his work. I wait until focaccia bread is done and am going to head down to nearest gas station, put air in the tire, drive it home, plan to awaken early and check out situation and hope tire is still full of air and it is a very slow leak that I can get fixed at a later time... I get into car and start driving. When I put on brakes at corner GKGKGKGKKRKRKKRKRK!!!!!!! Yeah - the reason the tire would not come off is because there is something intrinsically wrong with the inner connections between the brakes and the wheel somewhere in there. I drive down to the nearby car repair place with no further braking until I arrive, throw my key in the drop box and start walking home - in FLIP FLOPS. I had not planned on the walking thing.

About 100 yards into the journey I slip on slimy sidewalk mud and go down on one knee and palm. Extreme frustration. Dirt. Pain. I get up and nothing is broken. I can walk, but I don't want to. I try to call Debbie and get a ride even though it is only going to be about a mile and a half. No answer. I walk home very slowly. Bleeding. In the rain. (sounding very Hemingway here, huh? But I don't die in the end.) It really wasn't raining anymore, but I had to add that for effect.

Sigh....

The leg has one scratch and two little lacerations which appear quite deep. It was really fun to pick the gravel out of them. No bruise yet, which surprises me, but maybe because the skin actually broke enough blood got out.

I have a ride to work tomorrow with Sue. Garet has a second car and he is going to check and see if it will start and if it will I can drive it until my car is fixed. I only have $1.27 in my bank account so I won't be able to get my car until Friday even if it is a "cheap" repair. Michael gave me all his money left over from prom and the rest of his quarters so I have about $50 to put in the bank if I can get a ride downtown tomorrow. That ought to cover the $3.25 check I wrote for the rest of the corsage - Michael thought it was $15.00 and sent me with $16.00 and it turned out to be $19.25 - and then give me some money for gas if the loaner car needs it.

So one more thing to add to my travails. I had a heck of a week. Work had challenges. Financial had challenges. Family had challenges. Emotional had challenges. I boiled over on Thursday and about had my nervous breakdown. I cried at my desk at work in the morning and in the evening I cried and screamed at Heather (I'm still sorry, Heather), and cried some more to Emily, but then got down to business and got some stuff done.

I know that I am lucky, really. I could be much worse off; have no home, children who are heroin addicts, be sick myself or worse, but right now this is about all I can handle. I am glad Sue is picking me up in the morning. It will be a good positive start to my day. As much as she thinks I will only really be happy if I get to know Jesus, I know that she cares about me and will pick me up with a smile and love, and I mean pick me up for a ride and pick me up emotionally, too.

Genius dinner, bruises, clocks...

Oh, and a Princess too! Emily do you feel honored? I finally got your picture out of that frame that made a funny spot on it and now you are amongst my favorite authors - right between Chaim Potok and John Steinbeck!

Music clock I have made for Mom and Dad. I have learned some good lessons on this one about making things appear more professional - like look at the number 4.
I should have taken an exacto and scraped the edges to make it cleaner.... I hadn't used the stick-on numbers before so this was kind of an experiment with them. I feel nervous that they will fall off.

Same with all the numbers... the instruments and other stuff was better. I think the figure are just higher quality plastics.

Michael and I both agree that the ClockQuirks logo should be in reverse type on this one.
I can still change it. I haven't Mod-Podged over it yet.

I had originally planned to use the instruments and larger musical symbols in place of numbers. Michael said he has trouble telling time without numbers (even though he's a genius, he's a strange kind of genius), and it made me consider that it may also be hard for old people so I put the numbers INSIDE, close to the hands, and the symbols and instruments on the periphery, just for thematic decoration.
At first I used this side for the front because it had some Sousa marches on it, but then I was afraid Dad would be upset that I "ruined" a good record with Sousa marches on it! That is one reason for the exact placement of the logo, although I did plan for it to be UNDER the hub, instead of on top, so the RCA Victor logo and Nipper would show. (Do you know we have a Nipper's Credit Union in Bloomington, right across the street from where the RCA TV factory was for decades?)

The entire thing.

This is the putting-the-heavy, old, English-bicycles-on-the-rack-and- smashing-my-hand bruise.

This is still the unknown-origin-but-probably-carrying-the-very-heavy-vintage-sewing-machine-cabinet-the-night-I-moved-furniture bruise.

This is my genius dinner. Quinoa is my new grain for experimentation. I had raging success with pasta salad and tonight I decided to make "Hawaian Haystacks" and use Quinoa instead of rice. Hippie Boy gets a more complete protein and I get closer to my fifty grams, and have a whole-grain, more complex carb. Also we both like them with lots of veggies so our fiber is even higher. Yes that is a huge pile of college recruitment materials under Michael's plate. When we bring in the mail I put his in "his place" at the table and he is supposed to take it and sort it and recycle or keep as appropriate. He finally did that with this pile after dinner. Of course I did not include the other end of the table where my un-put away art and craft stuff is. Hey! I'm still working on it!
Yummy! I cooked some chicken breast separately to add to mine. I used to use one can of mushroom soup and one can of Cream of chicken, because I don't really like it with straight mushroom, like many people use. Now I use one can mushroom, one can cream of celery so it's veggie and I still like the flavor.

Bloggy Blog

I am off work tomorrow for my birthday, which is nice. I am lookingto forward to it. Funny thing is a have a list of things I want to accomplish, as usual. I think it will make me feel good because I haven't been able to do my own stuff as I like to for so long. Plus I have acquired new things which don't yet have homes and it makes me feel unsettled to have extra things sitting about.

One thing I would really like to complete is the front porch beautification project. It is really complete. It just needs a little cleaning up so I can take my after pictures. I am sad I didn't do it sooner because the pictures would have been nicer with the morning glories in full bloom and it has been so freaking cold that they are not so active anymore.

I have also started a clock for Mom and Dad. My mother got mad at me and said I took their only working clock away when I was cleaning. I had no idea. I thought it was just some cheap thing they got at someone else's garage sale, which it probably was, but I didn't realize it was the only working clock. I have a really cool clock started and I would like to complete it and get it up there this weekend.

I am having mixed feelings about this weekend because I need to go and take the clock and the clean laundry, but I also REALLY need some home time. Also Heather's school is having a reunion for people who were involved in music and she is going to sing. BUT Lisa also invited me to go to Indy and go to Octoberfest and then hang out, which I would really like to do. I asked Michael and it turns out he has another DATE Saturday night... so that makes me kind of want to stay here Saturday and have him go up to Lafayette with me on Sunday, but I don't want to drive twice so then I miss both activities to which I have been invited warmly. I feel very wishy washy and unsettled about the whole thing. I know I am letting minor things bother me, when there are much bigger issues in my life and the world. Maybe the minor issues are a welcome distraction from the real stuff.

I wanted MEAT today. I went to Golden Corral because I knew there would be meatloaf and I have been wanting it so badly! I had meatloaf AND pot roast. I haven't really eaten since then, though so I probably ought to eat something before I go to bed so I wake up in the morning! I can't even test my sugar because I am out of strips. Oops! I called the dr. today and I can go pick some up tomorrow.

I smashed my right hand last night loading one of the bikes on the bike rack. It had an impressive blue broken vein blood-bubble type bruise last night. Today it is only slightly blue, but hurts like hell.

Good-deed doing backfired somewhat. Casey was upset from "negative attention" she received about the Victoria's Secret Contest. She said people on some fora called her the "Cancer Bitch." I don't know where she is reading. I should google. Maybe people started boards specifically about this contest? I would have never thought of anything like that. In way I feel bad because it upset Casey and that is the last thing she needs. In a way (which is probably selfish) I feel a little hurt because I know that my friends and I were doing what we felt was wanted, voting for Casey, getting others to vote for Casey, and then protesting when the contest was unfairly judged. It's one of those things that makes me feel like sometimes you can't "win," no matter how hard you try.

Another sort of negative thing. Liability insurance for the business is at least $60/mo. More quotes are needed. Also there may be a nutritional analysis that has to be completed by a state certified lab for packaging and labeling requirements to be properly fulfilled. I don't know the exact cost, but I am worried about it - especially if I want to sell many different goods. If that is the case, I will have to give up for now, work on a more complete business plan that figures those costs into my break-even point and work on some of the minor issues, like my name change first. If Joy and I combine and form a partnership LLC - Hope and Joy LLC - :) , maybe we can reduce fees for state registration, trademarks, etc. We are looking into it. Joy is a good researcher and doesn't work an 8 - 5 job any longer so she has taken the brunt of the research. It makes me feel a little unreliable and flaky, but she says she enjoys working with me anyway.

I usually write my projected bedtime on my list for the evening. I didn't actually write it down tonight, but midnight was officially the goal. I am going to skip dishes because I will be here tomorrow, but I do want to start a grocery list so Michael will see it in the morning and add his desires. We're starting to get down to canned veggies...

Don't look if bruises gross you out!

Dad's arm where it hit the stairs. Under the gauzy wrap is more bruising, just horrible. I am so glad he didn't break this arm. It sure looks like it came close. The nurse at the nursing home who did his initial examination said he back also has severe bruises and "Shirred" skin wounds, that she can tell he slid down the stairs on his back. I haven't seen it, but I bet it is similar to this only larger. When they would move him in bed is when he would really hurt and groan and express the pain, and I felt like I could tell it was his back and shoulder that hurt so badly.
My current bruise looks so pitiful, relatively speaking. I did this one of the nights last week when I moved furniture and didn't even realize it until the next day, when it was deeply bruised and even swollen! I carried Aunt Mary Lou's sewing machine twice and it is extremely heavy. I had to hold the heavy part up against my chest to even be able to do it. I think the edge of it pressed into my skin so deeply that it is was made those bruise. From now on Michael is going to have to move it if it moves again!

Happy #1-4.

Happy # 1 - Leg is starting to heal much better. No more ooey gooey and I am not so worried about infection as it is less of an open wound.
Happy # 2, but with a drawback. I wore sticky bandages on it so long the skin around it has become over-sensitive, itchy and painful. I am sure it will heal quickly. I was able to leave it uncovered most of the day to day and felt okay about it.
Happy # 3. I cleaned the fish tank last night - a task I dread.
Happy # 4 Meet Peg, on the left and UVR on the right. I secretly hope UVR will die so Peg can have the tank to himself.

Also happy - Michael had a great lesson with Ben tonight. I ate dinner on my front porch for the 2nd night in a row, even though the front porch beautification project is only partially complete, and I spent quite a bit of time completing the edging along the street and touching up the edges of the driveway. Michael picked a nice bowl of grape and cherry tomatoes from the garden and we will eat them for dinner tomorrow in some fashion.

I have to go vote for Casey before midnight.

Also I keep trying for that mythological midnight bedtime. I am not sure it exists for me any longer. Once I master midnight I will start working on 11:30.