Lisa asked, "So do you have ANY deal breakers?"
I guess I do have some deal breakers. I have a friend right now who asked me to do a couple of things that I felt were a little under my standards. I felt like I was doing them to help her children, but then I found out she used the money for a trip to a music festival for herself... I felt used and tricked and was angry. Maybe it's because I don't like confrontation. I never said, "Oh my God. How could you ask me to do that for THAT reason?" Instead I just began to distance myself from her. BUT part of the choice to not confront is to know that I should not have agreed in the first place, no matter how noble the cause was, or I should have clarified - Do you need this money to pay a bill or for what? (Don't worry. I didn't rob a bank or embezzle or anything like that.) I still feel upset about the situation in the past, but I didn't end the friendship. I just vowed to myself to not be convinced to do anything like that again. We still have social contact and I would help her in a second if she had a problem that I could help with - pretty sure same for her for me. I feel like I learned a lesson about setting my boundaries and maintaining my standards.
I remember once in HS we (meaning Lisa and I) had a stupid fight and didn't talk for quite a while. I also had a fight with my grown up friend, Judith, where we didn't speak for a while. I am pretty sure both of those fights were over stupid things. I am surprised that it took me (or us, maybe) to get over whatever it was. But STILL I am friends with both of you, just heard from Judith today, as a matter of fact!
I don't know. I don't know what anybody could do that would make me say, "no more, ever." Maybe intentionally harm one of my children or something.
That's about all the deep thought I can fathom tonight. I'm still physically tired and napped again tonight instead of doing household stuff. Just a few minutes ago I finally started a load of laundry and did a few dishes. I need to keep working a little and try to get a little more done or I will have a bad tomorrow.
So positive thoughts for feeling more rested tomorrow and getting enough done tonight that I feel satisfied with my accomplishments.
Posts
Losing a Parent
6 years ago
3 comments:
I only remember 2 arguments with you. John tells me I have such a bad memory, but I guess certain things impact me. I think the fight that caused us t o not speak for a while was because I had an affinity for foreign accents and you were annoyed at my desire to speak this way (I would be annoyed with me over this now too, I think). You claimed you couldn’t understand me and that infuriated me. I think I decided several months later for your birthday to bury the hatchet. Thinking about that now, makes me laugh so much inside.
I've been disappointed by friends
so many times and depending on how valuable they are to me is how I decide what to do with the disappointment. Some friends I've had to adjust my expectations, but they are too good to throw out. Some have hurt me repeatedly that I finally decide to be good to me, and cut them off completely. John says, "Once you're done, you're DONE." I give so many chances before I reach that point tho. I used to believe what the Girl Scouts taught me, "Make new friends,but keep the old...one is silver and the other gold." Then I was beat up a few times by some I thought were friends. I had to reevaluate.
I only remember the French accent fight. Better not remind me what the other one was or you may fall off my list after all! :)
I forgot that you ended it with a nice birthday card, but remember now, even a rainbow included, if I recall correctly. Thanks for being the kind one!
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