From "The Wonder Spot" by Melissa Bank:
That made it hard to believe that Venice and I were the same person underneath everything, which is what I thought love required.
Maybe this is where S**** is who responded to my shudder so strongly. Maybe there are lots of people in the world who think to be really good friends or really love someone you need to be "the same person underneath." Does it scare people to love someone who is different than they are? Do they think that if someone is unlike them that they are wrong about those differences? I think I have made great choices for my life and some great recoveries from hardships I have borne. I recognize that other people have made different choices and other types of recoveries or reactions. Does that mean I can't love them? No. I feel like I love the differences in my friends and family, even those who have made different choices than I.
Many years ago Sheri, M & Em's stepmother, sent me this long letter about Emily. She said that Emily was disrespectful and treated them and me disrespectfully. I realized as I read that Sheri felt like disagreeing with someone and verbalizing it or demonstrating that disagreement was disrespectful. My reaction and reply (which was unsent) was that I want Emily to be a strong woman who expresses her opinion and disagreement! Michael and I disagree on many, many things. We talk about them. We sometimes argue a point, (he explains the scientific reasons while I explain my feelings), but we still love and respect each other immensely.
Probably in my life I will come across more people who can't fully love or appreciate someone who is not the "same person underneath." Maybe I have before and never realized it as the basis for the end of a relationship. I have blamed geography or finances or time pressures or something. My naivete is showing right now, I believe.
Unrelated: My new back door is in the garage. I need to go buy new hardware and knobs and stuff. The guy said just call when I am ready and we'll set it up! I'm pretty excited and I hope the weather stays nice enough to do it.
Positive thoughts toward more beautiful weather, more activity, more joy in the sunshine.
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Losing a Parent
6 years ago
1 comment:
So do you have ANY deal breakers? I can enjoy people that have different beliefs, but they don’t feel safe necessarily. I think it’s pretty natural to be more drawn to people that resemble our selves. It’s just that you’re pretty laid back about your spiritual beliefs, and so since my beliefs are also ambiguous, I feel drawn to you. It’s just comfy…safer.
Aren’t you more inclined to spend time with those who share your passions?
Religion runs so much deeper for people. You know that. She’s probably scared for you and scared for her self since you shake up her core. But you probably know this.
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