Just got home.

Partially because I have infinite patience as far as getting out of crowded parking lots. I just sat and read my book until the road was practically clear and then left. Also Sen. Obama started a little late, not NEAR as late as Mr. Clinton when he came which already makes me lean toward Obama, as punctuality is a sign of respect in my book.

It was a good speech. It was a fun atmosphere. It was a big crowd. It made me feel more positive toward Obama. I probably already was, anyway. The BAD part was that Representative Baron Hill introduced him and when Sen. Obama thanked him for the introduction he went on and on about what a good team he and Hill will make in Washington. Boo! I really would like Gretchen to beat Hill in the Primary. I know it's a slim chance for her to beat an incumbent who has so much money, but this probably really hurt her a lot, so sadness. I think her policies toward the war and the environment are much better than Hill's. I think if Obama were familiar with her he would think they are more in line with his desires too!

Niece Sarah called last night and she is coming to Indiana with children to visit! YAY another niece visit! This one with twin girls 4? and new baby boy eight months whom I have not yet met. I am looking forward to it. She is a lot of fun. I told her she is welcome to use me as home base for whatever period of time. Husband is in Iraq, but will be stationed in Az when he gets back in July, so before she comes to Indiana she is going to get house in Texas ready to sell and put it on the market and just come here. Cool. I will have to actually vacuum this time so baby Jaxon doesn't eat all the junk off the floor! I may move computer out to living room for that period to make more room for them in here and so I can blog without worrying about bugging children, especially if she ends up thinking she might end up staying quite a while.

I have a raging headache from all the loud music and shouting and all that stuff. I already took the drugs with the narcotics. I think I need to have a snack and get to bed.

Happy today for: They bounced a couple of big beach balls during the waiting time for the speech. The guy next to me (who was a dead ringer for Garrison Keillor) was really into it. He was SO HAPPY that he got to hit it a couple of times. So it made me all happy for him that it came our way. I don't get really into that excited crowd stuff, but I like seeing other people really enjoy it.

Gonna have a party!

Whatever!

Sunday, May 11, 4 or 5:00

ending up kind of early

because face it, it’s a school night!

At Hope’s House,

Yeah, like I'm telling the whole internet my address!

The most relaxed party with only legal substances you will EVER attend!

Cute cartoon picture of a picnic group is here!

Maybe we will have a fire, cook out (if I get around to buying a new grill) play games, sing karaoke, watch a movie, go to the park, go for a walk, dance, talk, eat (okay, I’m pretty sure we’ll eat), drink refreshing beverages, draw pictures, make crafts, do magic tricks, turn cartwheels, tease the cat, plant flowers, make ice cream, read books, check each other for ticks, do the hustle, have a jam session, have a three-legged race…WHATEVER!

You might want to bring… a lawn chair, a portable table, your favorite game, a top hat and rabbit, a grill (just in case), a dust cloth (I probably won’t clean the house), some food (in case I don’t feel like cooking), your family (children welcome - remember only legal substances), mothers are welcome too (yes, I recognize what day the 11^th is and I am inviting my mother!), a friend or two, craft supplies, refreshing beverages, chocolate, musical instruments… WHATEVER!

You don’t have to RSVP because frankly, I’m just doing WHATEVER I feel like and whoever comes, comes, but I hope LOTS of people come. I think it will be LOTS of fun and it will be the epitome of my last few years theme, “I am completely relaxed and flexible.” If you MUST ask a question or need directions, call me at yeah like I'm going to tell the whole internet my phone number either!.

Happy for: a party to look forward to!
which to look forward?
to anxiously await?

And now, I must go make potato salad for the Science Olympiad Team picnic tomorrow after which I am going to go see Barack Obama speak!

Went out!

to Japanese hibachi restaurant with Christie from work, her boyfriend, Pete and some of their friends for her birthday. It was fun. We had the best hibachi chef, Eddie. He did all kinds of tricks with the utensils, made an onion volcano and squirted it out with a peepee doll, tossed an egg around on the utensils, made BIG fire, made cute little jokes. It was fun. I got off cheap by just ordering miso soup and an appetizer. Other people ordered the cooked stuff so I still got entertained just watching theirs get cooked. I'm glad Michael decided he had too much homework and cello practice to go to bike project tonight. It made it easy for me to go to this event instead of the political fund raiser for the gubernatorial candidate I thought I would go to while he was at bike project. I was kind of dreading it, it just happened to be nearby and blah, blah, blah....

I don't feel like writing tonight. Too much straight computer time at work today, no lunch, then worked until almost 5:30.

Happy today for: asparagus. Yum. I came home and and a "first dinner" with Michael before I went out and had my soup and appetizer. I love asparagus.

Smokin' grass and doing mushrooms

with my son and his friend Alexander...

over the campfire. Michael and Alexander went mushroom hunting. Michael did find one morel, but somehow it managed to get smashed and lost before they made it home. They did build a fire in the fire pit and tried roasting some frozen breaded mushrooms on sticks over the the fire. The breading burnt and the 'shrooms stayed frozen. So Michael heated a can of beans and they fire-roasted corn tortillas and ate beans and tortillas. I roasted hot doggies and enjoyed my carnivorous self. Michael got out his Mega Death hot sauce and Alexander ate an entire drop and survived. Alexander kept putting grass from my mowing on the fire so it was a pretty smoky affair. They also ran down to the park and filled their shirts with around a bushel of pine needles and REALLY did a smoky burn with those...

I did achieve a couple more items on my list today. I cleaned the front part of the house, including sweeping, which is rare for me, to be truthful. I also did something social, heck TWO. I answered the phone when someone called. My friend Deborah from Tennessee. We talked for fifteen or twenty minutes and got caught up. Her husband died a few months ago and she has had a really hard time coping with it and finally went back to work last week and wanted to tell me about it. She is going to go back full days tomorrow and is really excited. I am really happy for her. He was her life. They did everything together, EVERYTHING. She is feeling really good about being able to move forward and feels like she knows now that it is what he would want her to do. Also my friend Stephanie got a new puppy and I walked down to her house to meet the new puppy. She named her Molly, which is what I always thought I would name my next baby/ pet. It's a black "Labradoodle" which should be a nice, big doggy. Another big voice to add to the twilight bark in the neighborhood. YAY. Wait... Maybe I was social THREE times today. I also talked to Alexander's mother, Rebecca when she dropped him off. That's pretty good for me when I started out feeling so bitchy and hormonal! I could have hidden in my room, refused to answer the phone and ignored Michael and Alexander, too. I guess we should all applaud Excedrin Migraine formula and naps....

I didn't ever get out the sewing machine, however. I feel a little guilty about that, because I would like to solve the chalk falling out of the bag dilemma, but at least the table is cleaned off so if I choose to work on it this week it will be easier to start. I haven't called Renee either, about her stuff in the garage. I am not feeling well enough to be assertive, I guess.

Having the fire today made me want to have a party soon. I love summer parties with cookouts and fires and outside and in. It's much more difficult with no back door and making the deck pretty useless, but we manage anyway. time to start thinking and planning. I think I want to invite Alexander's family also and maybe another of Michael's friends and his family and try to add to my "party friends." Start to get a more diverse crowd. Sometimes I feel a little shy about it because they have more stuff than we do, but they all know I am a single income household and that is just life so I need to just get over it.

Happy today for: free rocks. Yesterday we went to one of the road cuts and brought home a a laundry basket and a milk crate full of limestone chunks. I put another layer around the edges of two of the garden spots. I have some more left and will do more, probably tomorrow. They sink in a little more each year, so need a little reinforcement occasionally. Plus, I want to start some areas by the corners of the driveways. I think we need to do another rock collection adventure. Then I can outline the areas I want to do by the driveways and do the thing where you put newspaper down to start killing the grass to make it easer to dig up. Then I can plant some cheap annuals this year and start thinking about putting some perennials in later.

Again with TMI

Feeling bad today because of mowing and the resulting headache. Also already perioding again only three weeks later so I was up several times in the night. Sigh. Thus the bitchy and hormonal I mentioned yesterday. I need to go to the OB/GYN and probably either have a hysterectomy or somebody said the thermal oblation (I don't know if I spelled that correctly) sometimes helps fibroid bleeding, but I have already used all my health care money for the year because of being sick in January! I don't even know how I am going to pay for all my regular medicines and test strips and all that for the rest of the year! If I had to pay 20% of a surgery, even out-patient or one day, I would probably have to go bankrupt or lose my house. Yay for being the working poor. Even WITH health insurance, it is still impossible. Come on, Democrats! Win the presidency and help me out! I AM budgeting better than ever and being frugal and all that stuff, but the super-strong, fast growing pneumonia bacteria in January, what can you do about that?

So today I am staying home. I felt like I drove around way too much yesterday. I put around thirty miles on the car which is like $4.00 in gas these days, even in my little beastie. I'm not going to church (it was a "maybe" on the list anyway) and the few items I couldn't get from Aldi, I can send Michael on his bike to get from Kroger. I still need to do the "clean house" part of the list and then I can get the sewing machine out and work on projects. I am also reading a really fat Stephen King novel (an expanded version of "The Stand") so I will have plenty of opportunity for entertaining rest breaks (if the headache doesn't get worse, which sometimes prevents reading).

If the headache/ period allows I can do some walking in the neighborhood or at least do some Leslie Sansone videos, but sometimes moving around a lot makes the bleeding yuckier. Sometimes it's okay, but sometimes I don't have the emotional balls to deal with it. It makes everything too overwhelming and I have to take to my bed, so it's best to baby myself a little to start with, you know? There's no one else to baby me and tell me they feel sorry for me so I have to feel sorry for myself.

Things I did so far:

Take a shower and get dressed (isn't it pitiful that it is a big enough item to put on a list?)
Pull out at least twenty more books and get them OUT
Farmer's Market
Opportunity House
Aldi
Grass mowed
One nice meal with Michael
Eat greasy fish
Dump/ recycling
Put gas in the car
Clean out the car a little bit

Actually took two showers, as I have to take one immediately after mowing grass or I would be ill.

Might count exercise if you count mowing the grass.


At the Farmer's Market I purchased some local honey - supposed to be good for allergies so Michael can use it in combo with his allegra. I also purchased tomato plants - three Romas and three Marmandes, French heirloom tomatoes. I usually get Big Boys or Better Boys for my big tomatoes, but we want to try canning sauce this year if we get a good crop and Romas are supposed to be good for that, and Michael is a little fascinated with the idea of heirloom tomatoes and the Marmandes seemed in their description close to Big Boy in flavor, etc. We can't actually plant for a little while because it might FREEZE again, so I hope I can keep them alive in their little trays inside that long.

Michael had orchestra contest this morning. I did not go because I am a bad mother. Now he is at a concert for MAYO - another orchestra a lot of his friends play in. He went wearing a shirt with holes and cut off jeans with strings hanging off. I asked, "do you think you should change clothes?" He replied, "It's a youth orchestra." I said, "but not necessarily a youth audience." So he went off with his friend's parents who are both professional musicians in his wholly unsuitable holey garb... he'll learn. Actually, Bloomington is quite casual about concert wear because of the university atmosphere, but I would have preferred at least jeans over the cutoffs.

I almost could not get the mower started tonight and had to try all my tricks several times and come in and take a mental health break once and then try again. It was really upsetting me. I am bitchy and hormonal (that's why I NEEDED greasy fish today), anyway and that was almost the crawl into bed with the heating pad point... finally one last really long spray with WD-40 and YAY it started!

So happy today for: WD 40. I can't remember if my brother Bobby told me this for sure oor not, but I'd like to think so. "If it moves and shouldn't, fix it with duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, fix it with WD-40." I also use 3 in one oil if the spray kind won't do. That reminds me. I think Michael said we need new duct tape. I have to remember that next time I'm at the evil empire.

This weekend

Things I want to accomplish:
Take a shower and get dressed (isn't it pitiful that it is a big enough item to put on a list?)
Pull out at least twenty more books and get them OUT
Farmer's Market
Opportunity House
Aldi
Grass mowed
Clean house
One nice meal with Michael
Something social with another human being
Eat greasy fish
Dump/ recycling
balance checkbook
Really good exercise at least one day
Make liner for M's chalk bag
Maybe attend UU tomorrow.
Put gas in the car
Clean out the car a little bit
Call Renee (never did it last week)

Still tired.

So heading to bed soon

I still managed 8000 steps today. One way I manage that is by making as many trips through the office as possible. I print on a couple of different printers and go get each report separately. I deliver each report for each paper as it it is complete, rather than waiting and delivering all at once, even though I could. It gives me a feeling of completion to each task and deadline as well as gets me off my ass and getting more steps. Even so, it was a rough day. Between eight and three o'clock, after a brief meeting I sat at my desk and printed one report, re-entered the info from that program into another program that saves space for the ads in the classifieds section, then printed another report out of that program to deliver to the pre-press people. So for about seven hours I only went between my desk, two printers, pre-press, refilling water glass, peeing, and eating crap from the birthday party foods...Some things I had to do twice today because they made late ad changes on me and I was pissy about it! FINALLY at three o 'clock I took a walk, but I only did one lap around the building and lot. I felt a lot of pressure to go in and work on my REAL job, the other stuff having taken so long today.

Women Inspire was good tonight. A small group because the weather was so nice, probably and there were some other good events happening in town. Nancy the organizer spoke and I might write some about that tomorrow. A candidate for county council spoke and I really liked her a lot. I may try to help her a little as a the primary approaches, if I have time.

Happy today for:
French Onion dip and Ruffles. Yeah it's junk food. Nikki brought it at my request. I wanted it. I got it. I ate it. I relished it. YUM.

I am so tired.

I realized how tired when I tried to put a comment on a blog and made a typo on nearly every word.

Very, very busy at work today and it will be worse tomorrow. On Fridays I have deadlines for three newspapers for Saturday, one Sunday paper that is actually a combination of FOUR newspapers, and two Monday papers. I do a part of production of the Classified ad pages for this. It was not originally part of my new position, but somehow "temporarily" became permanent. It's really okay, because I think without it, my position could actually be done as a part time position. It just makes a very busy Friday.

Tomorrow night I have Women Inspire to look forward to in the evening and that will be nice. The only bad part is that it is more sitting and on Friday I usually don't have time for any "smoke breaks" (walks) at work. Sometimes I have to stand or pace during WI when my feet or ankles are swelling, but that's life.

Weight this morning was 213.2. With the right combination of water & fiber I ought to hit 212 soon... Too bad I ate like a pig again today and not enough veggies! Taking the lunch to work is a hard thing for me to get right. I did walk today. Even with no work walks hit 9000 steps.

I walked on the Rails to Trails. Happy for the beautiful fungus I saw growing on a tree. I wanted to get all whimsical and write about how the fairies will sit on the edge tonight and dip their toes and splash in the collected rainwater, but I'm too tired. I'm only going to put the softener in the clothes and go to bed. I'm not going to make it to er.

Varied topics:

Cheesecakes:
Amber's question re: water bath. I have tried the water bath and mine still usually crack on top. My solution to that is to always plan some kind of decor or topping to hide the crack. A ganache, or on a "turtle" cheesecake I drizzle melted caramel and chocolate, on the chocolate I drizzle melted chocolate, on the lemon cheesecake, I serve with blueberry or raspberry sauce, on the peanut butter I drizzle melted peanut butter --- see I just hide my flaws and everybody ooh and aahs and says, "it looks so professional!" and they just don't know that I just can't figure out how to keep it from cracking!

Boxes: I looked online today and found one site where if I order 100 12x12 boxes they are under $1 ea and I have been paying $2 ea to buy them individually and it is a pain in the ass. Usually about 80% of them on the shelf have tabs torn off. I am going to make a goal to call by the end of the next week and get an appointment at the small business support center and find out about some stuff. I don't really have a lot of capital (read any) but I think even when I am spending these little bits of money on boxes and ingredients and donating stuff, etc. I ought to be saving my receipts and learn how to deduct them as business expenses and such...

The event tonight went fairly well. At first I thought the speaker was boring as hell, but then he got better. He showed some clips of his reports from Afghanistan which was kind of interesting after having read what's his names books... (Hassad Khoulin?) He had done a lot about the opium poppies and how addiction had never been a problem there but it is growing now that it is one of the few ways the people can make any money. He also showed about this one man who started an airline in Afghanistan and how he lives, etc. Interesting contrast. Then he spoke some about his recent work in Iraq and showed some clips of his work from there.

I didn't enjoy the food as much tonight. Not enough vegetables. No salad. Too much white pasta.

Michael came over after bike project and ate dessert.

Then we drove by Rachael's Cafe and he was ERIC tonight! I was so surprised. I thought S/he was always going to be Rachael at the cafe. I took him some of the leftover lemon cheesecake so he could try it. He hosted an Obama fund raiser at his place tonight and still had live music going so we just dropped it and left quickly. I need to get in and talk business soon.

Tomorrow is work and Thursday is busy, then cello lesson, THEN we have to sneak dinner in there somewhere, THEN orchestra rehearsal, during which Nikki and I have planned to walk doggies. I hope she still wants to. She has had a rough week.

Okay. I have sat way too much today and my ankles are SWOLLEN. I need to drink half a gallon of water, take some medicine and get my butt to bed. I hope I don't pee the bed.

Amber, tell Hannah that Dad called me today and said they are putting house up for sale. Tell her a million thanks for her part in it. I'm assuming she has made it back to Utah and is not lost on her way to Indianapolis International Airport.

Happy today for:
Good, good people all around me. Too many to name some days. People who try to do right in the world and people who treat me kindly.

Doubles:

Double cheesecakes: TWO lemon cheesecakes for tomorrow's fund raiser for Gretchen. I doubled the recipe and did two at once which worries me. Theoretically, it should work, but that is not always true with baking. This particular recipe also has a lot of eggs and egg whites and mixing and it is kind of scary.... Also baking times will probably be affected because of two in the oven at the same time. We'll see in a little while! They are in the oven right now.

Double rejection: (yesterday) I asked Tamyra could I bring a guest based on the double cheesecake donation and she agreed. I got my nerve up and asked secret crush at work! Turns out, however, that he is leaving for Jazz Fest in New Orleans on Wednesday. So being already nervy, I emailed guy from class and asked HIM! He emailed back and said he didn't want to go to this because he is "not political" and would feel uncomfortable, but that he is "open to future suggestions."

So I responded:

I understand on the political thing. I'm pretty
comfortable with Gretchen, but I am afraid the German
film maker will be boring boring boring....

"I'm open for future suggestions, though."

Me too.  I enjoy a lot of what Bloomington has to
offer, especially now that the weather is nice! If you
see something that interests you, let me know.  I'm
usually game.  Last night I had a nice walk on the
loop up by Lake Griffy.  I'm slow, but steady...

There is an article in the paper today on page E2,
that now Baxter has Heparin recall because of getting
some bad raw ingredients from a Chinese manufacturer.
Heparin is sure a thorn in the side for Baxter in many
ways lately!

I thought my response indicated:
1) that he could do the asking if he wants
2) that even though I'm fat I like to do outdoors and active stuff
3) I have diverse interests and available time
4) then brings us back around to where we met and have common interests

Savvy?

Back to double cheesecakes. Alton Brown said when he makes a layer cake he weighs each pan to make sure he has the same amount of batter in each one. Amber, what do you do? I just eyeballed these.... Do you weigh it? Measure it? Eyeball it?

I received an email from a client I worked with when I was a classified rep about how we should not elect Obama because he is probably Muslim. It was entitled something like "Praise Allah? Or the Lord Jesus Christ!" I was completely offended. I can't believe the stuff people email on their professional emails and she had also shown her email address list and had sent it to several newspapers and some in large cities! She is a representative of a national company out of Atlanta and could probably be fired for something like this. I felt like either a) contacting a supervisor and getting it done b) emailing back and telling her I am a Muslim or c) just emailing her and saying she must have made a mistake and didn't realize she accidentally sent that to her professional contacts and not her personal contacts because I know she would never do anything like that. Instead I did nothing. I talked to one of my managers about it a little bit and she advised the nothing. She did direct me to a You tube that her sister made, however that I want to share with you if I can manage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d09gY5Qc4gY

Well, I'll just paste the link because I don't know how to save the file and then upload it.

But go watch it. It's only a few seconds and it's pretty neat.

Happy today for: Store brand foods that are so much cheaper. Remember when they first introduced "generics" and they came with white labels with army green stripes and black printing that just said "GREEN BEANS" and very tiny on the back said like, "Eisner Food Stores" Now it's Kroger this and Trader Joe's that. Sometimes the store brands can ALMOST be as expensive as the other brands, but not usually. There are not TOO many things I think I have to have brand name of any more. (Claussen pickles!)

Look what I found: Imagine the Cola picture is here. I can't figure out how to make it be anywhere but the top.

And here's the link to the Wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_brand

When it says "Jewel" Food stores, that's what used to be called Eisner in Indiana. Later they changed to Jewel here also - turned out I think they were part of Albertson's, just the midwest division.

P.S. The cheesecakes are out of the oven. They look good, smell terrific. Now I have a toting dilemma to solve. The damn store was out of cake boxes today and he said they wouldn't be in until Thursday. I only have one cake toter right now, various ones being left various places...I swear I need to buy like 100 cake boxes and just have them, but then there's that capital to get started thing again. Sigh...

Lake Griffy!

I did my Lake Griffy walk for the first time this year tonight. YAY! There were a lot of trees down across the path since fall. It must have been a rough winter and spring. I had to scale a few logs. There were some noisy kids who kind of bothered me. They had notebooks and I caught a little of what they were saying and it sounded like they were supposed to be observing nature for a class. I wanted to tell them to SHUT UP. You can observe nature so much better if you are QUIET. If you know to listen for the woodpecker and follow the sound, then you will see it. If you know what a blue jay scolding you for walking in his woods sounds like you can find him. That rustling leaves can mean a noisy squirrel or maybe a deer - we think deer are quiet, but they're not. That if you're really quiet a snake might just slither right across the path... but instead tonight I got noisy teenagers. I walked pretty slowly after they passed me and I did see a blue jay and the small kind of woodpecker. I could hear the big red-headed one, but he was far away and I never did spot him. It was a nice time of evening. The peepers (frogs) were starting and I like that too.

YAY SPRING. YAY LAKE GRIFFY. YAY 12,000 steps today ( Also did three laps around the building at work).

Happy today for so many things to do with outside, obviously, but also: PAPER CLIPS. Did ever THINK what a wonderful device? I love paper clips. I use them every day. And you know what? TONS of them float around the office. You can find them to reuse over and over, BUT that is one of my funny things. I have to have VIRGIN paper clips. I can't have the used ones. If I run out of new ones, I must get a new box from the office supply drawer. It almost kills me that I do use used rubber bands from the post office. Who knows who has touched those nasty things without washing their hands? Ugh. Someday soon I will ask Pat to bring a bag of new rubber bands for me from circulation. Then I will be really happy.

Happy for:

An Australian friend.

I love Gillian! I love that she really says, "Chicken on the Barbie!" I also loves the way she says her haiches. Every time she spells out her email address to someone, Nikki and I get a kick out of it. Not only is she talented and beautiful and kind and amazing, she's just damn cute.

Here we are last summer after we built Michael's loft bed on Girlfriend Project Day.

We need to plan another one of those soon!

Well finally!

213.6

even though I ate like a pig yesterday. I made a roasted chicken and ate damn near half of it for dinner last night. I could tell it was purely emotional eating too because I was lonely and blue, but hey, if I stopped eating every time it was purely emotional eating I wouldn't weigh over 200 pounds to start with, would I?

I was pretty good about drinking water though, so I think a lot of the swelling went down. I think a lot of the blues yesterday came from my disappointment with the weather. It was cold and rainy after being so pleasant during the week. I had hoped to mow the yard, which is the one form of exercise I really, really enjoy. Instead I was in the house almost all day, feeling cold and gray and miserable. I still feel cold and gray and miserable. In fact, I turned the furnace back on, put the space heater on in my room and feel like lying in bed and reading all day.

I think I am going to do some baking and take goodies to Gillian's. It will give me some focus, heat up the house a little bit and make it smell good and keep me out of bed. Then I can leave the goodies there so they won't be here. I don't really binge the way I used to, but it's still best not to have them around. I have a mandarin orange cake recipe I invented that I want to make, but I kind of wanted to try it with a Grand Marnier (I don't know how to spell that) glaze now that I don't think it's a sin. I can't buy any in Indiana on a Sunday, though so maybe I will just make something chocolate instead. I do have some ganache left over from the mint cheesecake that I should use up. Maybe I will just make some brownies, thin the ganache and little more and put a glaze on them....

Happy today for:

Drinking straws.

I love drinking through straws. When I don't feel like drinking as much as I should I drink more quickly and more when I use a straw. I have really nice, brightly colored straws right now and they are also very cheerful, which is nice because I have felt a little down today. I wish I had noticed when I purchased then however, that they were not "bendy" straws. Brightly colored bendy straws are my favorite!

Strange.

I usually love my Saturdays by myself, but I am actually feeling a little LONELY today. It's a good thing Gillian is having a party tomorrow and I can look forward to that. At the same time, I could go to the Y and walk, and I usually run into people I know, but I feel unmotivated to do it. Hmmm. I am an amazingly complex woman aren't I - or once again, is the term PSYCHO?

I got the boxes to Opportunity House and it seems so much less cluttered now. I feel impressed to tell you all - probably moved by the spirit, really, that last weekend I was VERY relaxed about housekeeping. I actually did not stress about not having the house "all the way clean" before Hannah came to visit. The ironing board was out the entire time, the boxes were not taken to Opportunity House, I never did get the vacuum run...for some reason I just did not stress. I think there was even stuff on one end of the dining room table that I never did get put away. Usually I am VERY freaked out about that sort of thing if someone is coming. And I swear, I was not taking a lot (any) tranquilizers or anything! :)

I must be very secure in Hannah's love for me.

I realized

I have forgotten my "happy fors" for a couple of days! I am still happy for a lot of little things, I promise. I guess I have been happy for a lot of big things, too. Lots of steps, finding out that Japan is possible for Michael, things like that.

Tonight I am happy for Heather's couch! I took Michael to his dad's then stopped at Heather's to pick up some stuff even though she was gone to a dinner party. I slept on her couch for two or three hours! That's why I am typing at 2:22 am! I just got home. I decided to go ahead and drive on home so I could still get started on stuff in the morning and get an important payment in the mail.

So now I am having my bedtime snack and then I am going to bed!

And Deb, IT happened, but guess what, I had a REALLY swollen day today so my weight was even higher! 214.8. Gillian and I sat and figured out that I ate about a million milligrams of sodium yesterday so it's my own damn fault. Sigh.

Porter N Me

Earthquake!

which I was already awake, lying in bed. It has me a little adrenalized. So maybe I will put together some banana bread and put it in the oven and then try to lie down again while it bakes. They are saying on TV it was about 5.4. I have felt a couple of others over the years and this one felt the strongest of them and I felt the wave action of the earth beneath me, I swear it....

Steps

9000 steps yesterday.

9000 today and still going to do some work around the house so maybe a 10,000 day.

Nikki and I walked dogs last night. She took my picture with Porter so after she emails it to me you guys can see what he looks like and how BIG he is!

Tonight I walked while Michael had his cello lesson. It is SO much easier for me to be active when it is warm.

My feet are hurting a lot though. Gillian and I went to the shoe store on lunch that has "diabetic" shoes. the prices start at $170. Yeah, I won't be getting any of those soon. I will get a new pair of Nikes as soon as I can afford it. The problem with wearing the goodformyfeet shoes every day is that they wear out quickly.

Japan trip - Michael has been working very dedicatedly as a mechanic on the bikes. (This is separate from Community Bike Project) He has also been riding his bike (that he made at Community Bike Project - get it?) EVERY day, except when it was below zero degrees and I forbade it. I knew the bike team was going to the international competition in Japan, but didn't think there was a chance in hell Michael could go, figuring it would cost thousands of dollars. WELL, at the meeting the other night, which I attended with total resentment because it would interfere with the beginning of the Biggest Loser, I learned that Corporate Sponsors donate enough to cover the travel expenses and all the parents pay is some incidentals and food money. ending up in the $500 - $700 range. Economic Stimulus Check formerly slated for patio door - now slated for Japan trip. I figure this is a once in a lifetime chance - TWO WEEKS in Japan for less than a thousand dollars. That is less than I paid for Emily to travel to Hawaii with her orchestra for like five days.

I figure I can go without a new patio door another year. If I do get a higher paying job I will be able to do the patio door sooner. If I would decide to sell the house I will only be able to sell it to a flipper because nobody who has to get financing would be able to get it past an inspection, but if I decide to sell right now it would be to get enough to pay off the mortgage and have enough for apartment deposits and move because I would be avoiding foreclosure, not because I am looking for a huge profit.

So I made a deal with Michael that he pays the Passport application fee with his money he has saved for amplifying his cello and I will pay for the rest. He almost turned me down. He said he has been dreaming of amplifying his cello for so long and he just figured it out with Steve at the violin shop yesterday.... I was absolutely floored. I talked to Nikki about it last night while we walked and she said ask him "Are you fucking crazy?" I think when I put it like that he realized this is a once in a lifetime deal... We did the passport application today.

Weight was STILL 214.0 this morning. Sigh... I need a good poop!

Notice anything exciting here?

Upcoming Events:

April 26, ISSMA Orchestra Contest
May 3, Possible ISSMA State Orchestra Contest
Wednesday, May 7, Michael Concert
Wednesday May 14, Underclassmen Honors Night
Thursday May 29, Orchestra Honors Night
Thursday May 29 – Sunday June 1, Solar Bike Race Trip
Saturday, May 31, Graduation
Week of June 9, Possible Scout High Adventure Trip
Beginning July 14, Solar Bike trip to JAPAN! (two weeks)

http://www.mccsc.edu/~sou_bike/index.htm

Planned ahead

for tonight.

Went home for lunch and made dinner for tonight. Michael has an orchestra rehearsal from 7 - 8:00. He is downtown being a hippie now (war protest/ peace demonstration) until 6:00. So I made fried rice (vegetarian) and brought it back to work with me to heat up. I will go pick him up, we can eat at the park, I can take him back to school for orch. Then Nikki is going to bring a dog for me to walk and meet me at the park so we can walk while Michael is playing. All the guys will stare because I will be with hot, young Nikki and I can pretend they are watching me! :)

I am worried about my diet, catering to Michael's vegetarianism. My cholesterol is great right now because my protein sources are usually very lean meats. BUT if I try to provide alternate protein sources for him and they are often eggs and cheese and then I partake what might that do to my cholesterol? Today I used two eggs in the fried rice - traditionally I would also use white meat chicken, but today I also added slivered almonds. They are also supposed to have the right kinds of fats and also Omega 3s, which should help my triglyceride problem. Hmmm... I told him I would not cook vegetarian for him all the time and I want to find a balance that is good for both of us.

I hate tofu, by the way. And Michael asked me to buy tofu for him and then the same day told me he thinks he is allergic to soy. Gillian says she thinks tofu might have a different affect because of the way it's processed so I might go ahead and get some.

Anybody have any suggestions? I may have to read some more. Sigh. I hate non-fiction reading and researching stuff.

When I was thinner:

I am the one next to the male coach. I thought I would add this pic as a reference point to what I was like 100 pounds ago. I thought I was fat. The boys made fun of me for being fat. My father told me I was fat. I realize now that I was ROUND. I will always be round. I will have round cheeks, round arms, round boobs, round belly round everything, unless I am dying. That is my body. I would be perfectly happy to weigh 135 now, like I did then. I would be happy to weight 150 now. I would be happy to weigh 209.8 now!

Uberlist Update 1st Quarter

15 that I'd call "complete" Many are ongoing types of things or can't tell until the end of the year.

HEALTH/FITNESS
1) Participate in intentional physical activity at least three times each week. - Log this more carefully in calendar the way I used to.
Well this kind of fell by the wayside during the first quarter with my illnesses. It is starting to pick up again as I have recovered and the weather is improving.
2) Drink at least three glasses of water daily. Very, very good at this. I think the illness IMPROVED this.
3) Eat at least three servings of vegetables daily
Good at this. My tomato cravings help. I need to be sure to include a variety and I am even thinking of upping my goal informally to five per day. It should also be facilitated by Michael’s switch to vegetarianism as I strive to keep a variety on hand for his consumption.
4) Lose 20 pounds - Time limit this year - by August 1. Working on it, with my mini goals.
5) No soda at home. Pretty good at this. I survived on ginger ale while ill, but that doesn’t count. There hasn’t been a case of Diet Pepsi in the house all year!
6) Use lotion more regularly. Pretty good. I have been keeping a bottle of lotion on my desk, on my sink, and also using actual facial products on my face. Nikki is encouraging me in this. Wendy Davis gave me some of her expensive eye cream so I am using up all the samples of stuff so I can use the fancy stuff and feel pampered!
7) Stretch at my desk at least twice daily. I have been forgetting this lately. I need to start again, because I really think it short circuits the headaches a bit.
8) Use my dumbbells or stretch when I watch television or movies - at least twenty reps. Been terrible. But then I haven’t really been watching that much TV or movies, well maybe I have, but Michael and I have been watching the movies in installments while we eat.
9) Test my fasting sugar at least three times per week and LOG IT! Nope, been terrible. My sugars in general have been lower during the days and have been testing more frequently to keep them level and learn to eat appropriate snacks at correct times.
10) Read one motivational health-related book. Not yet.
11) Wear the foot gel footies at least twice a week. I tried, but found that they made my feet cold during the winter. I will try again as it warms up.
12) Log my foods at least twice a month on Fit Day or in journal. I have done some. Will continue again.
13) See Dr. Weiler and get a Pap smear and stuff. Not yet.
14) Get a massage. Not yet.
15) Get a pedicure. YES!
16) Get a manicure. Not yet.
17) Participate in the wellness programs through work insurance. Yes!

HOME IMPROVEMENT/ ORGANIZATION
18) Reorganize the shelf above the washer so it is easier to get to the medicine box.
19) Prune the mulberry tree
20) Get rid of one stump in yard
21) Get rid of twenty books I will never read again. Oh yeah, and more going soon.
22) Get a window covering for kitchen window or design something artistic for the space. Paper idea down the drain, next idea in the works.
23) Clean out the coat closet. Not yet.
24) Mount spoon “handles” on cabinets. Not yet.
25) Clean out the car extremely well at least once. Not yet.
26) Clean the carpet in purple room. Not yet.
27) Clean the carpet in my room. Not yet.
28) Clean my bedroom closet. Not yet.
29) Add more topsoil to the garden.
30) Label garage shelves and organize. Getting there!
31) Get the garage door opener repaired or replaced. Not yet.
32) Research how to grow a grape arbor.
33) Start grapevines if financially able.
34) Replace my bathroom flooring. Have measured!
35) Get a new sink in my bathroom.
36) Get the gutters cleaned out.
37) Dig out the concrete in the side yard. Had Michael start and he gave up. It will be a slow process.
38) Make a stepping stone path to the backyard
39) Paint the front door
40) Touch up wall paint in living room or repaint. I found the leftover paint while I was cleaning out the garage!
41) Get the oil changed in the car by January 31, then every 6000 miles. Time to do it again!
42) Clean out jewelry box, get rid of unused items. Have worked on it. Next goal is to get Lukens family jewelry to Chelsea if she wants it. Emily does not and Chelsea is next in line.
43) Organize craft supplies - get rid of excess. Am working on this as organizing closet. Realized I have three boxes of crayons and markers. I need to Freecycle some.
44) Get an earring hanger. I want something really cool.
45) Get an estimate on the foundation repair. DONE! Guy says no repair is needed!
46) Sort out the unopened mail until the baskets are completely EMPTY. Have an idea to do 10 items per week and bring to work and shred. By end of year, the baskets should be empty. A lot of it is moot mail, now that the old medical bills have been paid.
47) File all the stuff in the tubs under the bed
48) Get pocket protectors for Michael's awards and certificates

CRAFTS/ INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS/ ARTISTIC
49) Read at least thirty-five books About 10 complete, I think.
50) Three of those should be books from Emily’s list of “Must reads” I think I want to read “Great Expectations” next.(Use Stephen King's list in "On Writing" if I can't find Emily's.)
51) Three of those should be non-fiction or “educational” I finally finished “ A Reasonable Life” yesterday, plus Anne Kreilkamp’s Book, “This Vast Being.”
52) Finish the series of Management in the Life Sciences Industry through IU continuing studies. DONE!
53) Finish the first draft of “The Stone Cold Heart”
54) Write a letter to Todd to see if he wants Holt Family notebooks.
55) Knit at least ten hats (or other items) to give away. Umm I think a few so far.
56) Get a new pennywhistle
57) Watch two movies off the “must see” list.
58) Go to a concert, even if I have to pay for tickets
59) Buy a new CD. I think I bought that Jewel CD this year.
60) Sew something nice for someone. I bought some patterns!
61) Make a bag or purse. I bought a pattern!
62) Visit at least one Frank Lloyd Wright building and tour it (Taliesin or in Chicago)
63) Attend at least one play at BPP or IU Theatre
64) Make another valiant attempt to learn to crochet.
Try a personalized lesson, maybe.
65) Attend one IU Auditorium Show
66) Attend at least one of the "One Book" Discussion groups or try another book club
67) Figure out how to use the old sewing machine or get a new sewing machine. I bought a new sewing machine!
68) Start saving for a digital camera to start cataloging craft and sewing projects for website.

SOCIAL/ RECREATION/ SERVICE
69) Write five letters. I wrote cards, does that count?
70) Go on a trip all by myself for at least two days.
71) Pay Women Inspire dues when due. They are due now and I need to use money to apply for Michael’s passport. Sigh.
72) Serve on committees for Music Fest and Fund raiser. I didn’t serve on committee for Music Fest, it coming after being too burned out from being sick, I had to change my priorities, BUT I volunteered the evening of the event as was able.
73) See two online friends in real life. Hoping to see Erin this year. I don’t know who else.
74) Meet parents of at least one of Michael's friends. Have met Nathaniel’s mom. She seems reasonably nice. I’d like to tell her that I don’t think hygiene is optional for teenage boys, but it’s not really my business, I guess.
75) Take a girl trip with somebody somewhere. When Scott goes to Japan, maybe Gill and I can do this.
76) Take a trip to Jungle Jim's
77) Volunteer at two more orchestra events. Have I done this? I have to think.
78) Write Joyce Scott a letter
79) Take a special trip for spring break. Nope. We were too poor. Emily came and we did lots of home stuff and hung out. I took a few days off work and we did drive her back to Lafayette and went to lunch at Arni’s, but that’s all we could swing.
80) Go swimming at least three times
81) Go camping
82) Go canoeing
83) Fly a kite
84) Go to the zoo
85) Make sure to talk to Mom and Dad at least once a month. Not so good at this. I am a BAD DAUGHTER. Sometimes I wish I had the kind of relationship with them that heather has, but then it seems so hard to make the effort. Dad’s birthday is next week and Heather wants me to take the day off and go up there, but it is the day BEFORE payday and I am so poor.
86) Send Christmas cards or a letter for 2007. I eventually sent cards/ postcards to almost everybody, by about the end of March.
87) Send Christmas cards or letter for 2008 actually before the end of the year!
88) See as many fireworks as possible
89) Try two new venues for karaoke. We went to one last weekend with Hannah and it was the same old Darrell and Tammy, but at a new place and we had a good time!
90) Re-dedicate to Community Kitchen for Thanksgiving this year
91) Volunteer at one "one-time" event such as a run, etc...
92) Go to Mom and Dad's and work on house at least four times.

PARENTING
93) Cook with Michael more often. This may happen naturally as we try to accommodate vegetarianism with new main dishes.
94) Write Emily a real letter while she is at school
95) Enforce Michael and the "recycling box" process. It’s going fairly well.
96) Support Michael in his efforts to train for solar bike by supplying equipment as able. Trying. Passport is the next battle, and then of course the $500 - $700 for food and spending money for two weeks in Japan. Holy shit! That’s the new patio door.

FINANCIAL/ PROFESSIONAL
97) Complete my taxes by February 15th. Done.
98) Pay all medical bills that are in collection. Yep. Done.Of course, a new round has started.
99) Pay back Debbie Shipley completely. DONE.
100) Pay Dewey at least a little each month. Paid $100. last month.
101) Keep checkbook balanced. Good.
102) Present three new revenue producing or creative ideas at work. Big report was full of ideas. I am happy with it. If I stay here I will continue to search for ideas, not only for my area, but advertising altogether. One idea that I first proposed 3-4 years ago has finally come to fruition this year, but I think it took so long that nobody remember when I first proposed it, even though I still have my original proposal as a Word doc.

FOOD/COOKING
103) Make fondue again
104) Go to the Farmer’s Market at least three times
105) Make ice cream
106) Try two new vegetarian main dish recipes. Well, this is sure going to happen.

MISC/ PERSONAL
107) Get two rolls of film developed
108) Attend UU at least two more times - one should be a Sunday!

Biggest Loser

is not ME!

I was pretty sedentary today. I only had in about 4000 steps by the time I took off the pedometer and that was even with a 15 minute walk at work.

I also feel like I ate a lot. AND I am not even going to do the dishes tonight. I am going to go to bed as soon as the TV show is over. I am so tired and my feet hurt so bad!

Weight this morning was STILL 214.0. Argh I really want to see that 213!

Happy today for coming home for lunch. I am supposed to be taking my lunch to work to be saving gas, but I came home today and made tuna salad and watched TV and relaxed and got out of that building and it felt so good. I wish gas weren't so expensive. At least now it is warm. There are parks near the office and even if I take my lunch I will be able to walk or drive to the park and get out of the building and eat my lunch. I will just have to be good and plan ahead.

13,000 steps!

I walked a lot today.

Hannah and I walked quite a bit downtown this morning. I walked more than an hour while Michael was at Bike project. I walked very slowly, only two and a half miles in all that time, but the combination as well as parking far away from everywhere today was a winner.

I ate WAY too much at lunch when Hannah and I went to Cafe Django and I had chicken peanutty noodles, which I love. I had only had a grapefruit for breakfast and let myself get too hungry. But for dinner I did well - leftover Hawaiian haystack stuff which I bulk up with lots of veggies. I need a good evening snack, but I think all I want is tomatoes. I may need to force down a slice of cheese to get some more real food in me.

Weight this morning was 214.0. I'd really like to see that 213. something tomorrow. I'm starting to worry about seeing that 209.8 before the end of the month after achieving that other goal so quickly and effortlessly, but I guess I meant to do it slowly and permanently so I will take what I can get.

Things I want to accomplish by Saturday this week.
Wear the pedometer daily.
Have at least two more days with minimum 8000 steps
Have at least one more day with minimum 10,000 steps.
Call Renee one more time about her stuff.
Get boxes of stuff to Opportunity House.
Deposit Tom's check in the bank.
Get one more prescription refilled - find out if Target will "match" the Kmart gift card offer.

Happy today for: My Hello Kitty notepad so I had cute notepaper to write directions for Hannah to the airport. Also, reading the funny magnets at Greetings with Hannah.

My feet DO hurt. Tomorrow may be a low walkking day on purpose. I know it is TV night because of the "Biggest Loser" finale. I am even skipping Women Inspire to watch it!

Still having fun.

Grand opening at Rachael's last night was a blast. TONS of people. Free hors doerves . We got a couple of drinks and Heather and Hannah stole a spot on a couch. Michael and Hannah played a game of Scrabble and Heather and I stared at people. I saw several people I knew in the crowds and I was happy and content and mellow. Then we took Michael home and the three of us went to karaoke. At karaoke I was hyper and dancish and just really enjoyed myself. I think we all had a good time. Hannah almost saw her first Indiana bar fight but it was averted.

Good day today. Food, naps, church for Hannah and Heather. Lots of talk, good company. Fun. Relaxing. Mint cheesecake eh. not such a success. I used extract and to get it as minty as I wanted I had to use two tablespoons and I think that made the texture funny. I need to try again and get peppermint oil.

Happy today for: grape tomatoes. Used twice today. Salad. And Hawaiian haystacks. Easy and tasty, yum.

Quickie!

Getting ready to go to Rachael's Cafe Grand Opening.

Hannah is here.

Going to invent a new cheesecake recipe tonight/ tomorrow - chocolate mint. Will return & report.

Walked a couple of miles at the Y today with Heather while Hannah and Michael went climbing.

Cancelled Y membership after end of April - decided I'm not using it enough.

Happy today for: Cinnamon toothpaste. Yum. Nice fresh breath, even after taco salad for dinner - with onions.

Very tired.

I worked so hard all week with very little downtime and still didn't get all the paperwork finished.

Didn't see secret crush guy today.

Ate pizza twice today. I will probably be really fat tomorrow. I keep forgetting to record my weight each day. It keeps being 214.something. I am frustrated that it hasn't gone down below the 214.

Wore my pedometer today. It recorded over 6000 steps, but I didn't wear it when I walked to he mailbox and back because it had fallen off and I didn't find it until afterward.

Heather is here tonight and we are being mellow and she is working on her laundry. Hannah, my nice from Utah, comes tomorrow and she and Michael plan to climb, hopefully outside, because Hannah brought her gear. If it's too yucky they will just have to go to the gym.

Happy today for: My wine glasses. I keep enjoying my grape and tomato juice out of them, even though I don't drink wine. It makes my special treats feel really special!

Just a short note

Deanna is here to stay the night. YAY! So I want to go talk to her. So one of the things I am happy for is that Deanna is here to visit and stay all night. It was really hard for me when she moved out of town. Dumb Rick. But she still swears he is the best husband in the world.

Must mention the peanut butter cheesecake I made for work today: It got rave reviews. I also sent a sample piece to Rachael's Cafe and she loved it, so I might be working out another commercial deal soon. We have a small business support center in town and I need to make an appt. to find out about registering my name and setting up a sole proprietorship. Also; Steve (secret crush IT guy) poked his head around the corner and said, "Your cheesecake is divine." Whoo hoo!

Happy today for: Turtles candy. Someone brought some of that in for Joyce's birthday (my reason for pb cheesecake) and I ate two. DELICIOUS.
P.S. I did not eat any cheesecake myself. My sweets were limited to the turtles. I was good.

GOOD KARMA!!!

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Today.

I had two incidents where I became irrationally angry. I don't want to describe them because I am trying to let them go. I wonder if I am super - hormonal or something. I know when at least one of them happened I had tested my sugar a little before and it was 99. I had eaten since then, but only real food, not anything sugary. I am getting used to having lower sugar more frequently so I don't feel as bottomed out around 100 as I used to, BUT when that WAS a real low for me an emotional response (but usually crying) was often a part of it, so maybe it was a factor.

After I sent in the resume and letter last night and called a couple of people and talked about it I had a headache from the stress. I took the Midrin headache pills that stone me and went to bed quite early so I had a good night's sleep. I woke up early enough to cook a good breakfast and eat with Michael this morning, which was unusual and nice.

Tonight we had blackeyed peas, cornbread, sauteed spinach with pecans for dinner. I had ham in mine. Michael has decided to eat vegetarian so no ham for him. I think he will cook more often to pre-empt my efforts because although I respect him a lot I won't cook veggie all the time. I am going to try to make sure he has plenty of protein options available so his nutrition won't suffer. God, I may even cave in and buy tofu (blecch!).

Happy today for: My label maker. Heather gave it to me for Christmas last year and I haven't used it as much as I want to, but with my recent cleaning and organizing I have had more opportunities. I love it! I have arranged the canned goods in little "zones" on the shelves in the garage. I am going to give it some time to make sure the zone sizes work and all that and then label away. OCD ecstasy!

I did it!

I applied for my first job in the life Sciences industry. I feel like having a panic attack now, or puking up the ravioli.

April 7, 2008

Hiring Manager

Cook Medical Group

Bloomington, Indiana

Via: careerbuilder.com

CLINICAL COMMUNICATIONS SPECIALIST APPLICATION

Please consider me for the advertised position of Clinical Communications Specialist. As you can see on my resume’, I have spent the last year in programs through the Life Sciences Initiatives at both Ivy Tech Community College and Indiana University Continuing Studies programs. My recent education and Bachelor’s degree in English combined with my work experience in the newspaper industry and my supervisory experience in banking makes me an excellent candidate for the position. Through my years with Monroe County Bank and also the Herald-Times I have also participated in several conferences, in-house training and outside seminars in management, communications, sales and supervision that have developed me as a well-rounded and enthusiastic learner and employee.

In my years in the newspaper industry I have excelled at multi-tasking, completion within tight deadlines and leadership. Several years ago a coworker and I were asked to lead discussions with groups from every department of the newspaper with the ultimate goal of increasing circulation. In the years since that project, the Herald-Times has been one of the only newspapers of its size in the state to consistently increase circulation annually. Last year, because of my excellent customer service and reputation for attention to detail I was offered the newly created position of Public Notice Specialist. Since my promotion, I have completed a three phase project which has increased efficiency, accuracy and ultimately will increase revenue for the company. I am skilled with Microsoft Word and other programs specific to newspaper production and ad entry.

I look forward to hearing from you about the exciting opportunities available at Cook Medical Group. I have references available upon request.

HOPE E.

Enc: Resume’

Editing to add: I caught the grammar error after I sent it, Anyone else catch it?

Hippie boy started dinner!

so we've already eaten.

Delicious ravioli with my homemade sauce and a lovely salad.

Happy today for: My Hello Kitty Lunchbox. I don't really like taking my lunch to work, but it makes it much more cheerful.

Forsythia, by Gillian

Don't I have a talented friend?

Oh my Lord.

I get rid of what I consider major items or items that might not sell easily at Opportunity House through Freecycle. I had Book of Mormon Cassettes and a Gospel pictures kit so I posted it as "Mormon Paraphernalia." and listed what it was in the post. This woman replied that she really wanted it and what ward she is in. Then she sent another post saying, " I am LDS." Well, I kind of figured that, seeing as how you said what ward you are in. I replied with address and directions and that I would leave them on the porch in a bag with her name - common Freecycle protocol. She just called and said she is on her way. She reassured me again that she is a member of the church and that she would rather "a sister" get them than "somebody else." I just said, "umm, whatever, as long as you will use them." Uhhh... what does she think "somebody else" might do with cassette tapes of the Book of Mormon? Some evil deed? Goodness, it could even be a MISSIONARY OPPORTUNITY! Some curious person might think - gee I've always wanted to read that Book of Mormon those missionaries gave me, but it seemed too long and hard. Haha! Well, maybe I am saving some poor innocent by giving them to this loony! They are on the porch and I am definitely NOT answering if she knocks or rings the bell.

Happy today for:
Baby carnations. I found some yesterday at Kroger in mixed shades of purple that I have never seen before and they are so pretty! They were a little more expensive than the ones I usually buy, but I deserve it! They look really pretty now that I have my table all cleaned off. I put them in one of the really old canning jars that has the blue tint instead of a vase and it really sets them off.

Working some more!

There is a faculty piano recital at 4:00 that I want to attend, but honestly I am so into getting the garage complete that I may enjoy it more than the music. Is that sad or what? And it's a dual recital with two piano faculty and I even dreamed about pianos last night. Maybe I really am a sicko.

I may go get a hamburger somewhere for lunch today. Junk food sounds kind of good, but maybe not, my weight was 215.2 this morning, but I did feel kind of swollen, so it is probably just fluid again.

Really enjoying music today while I work. Also reading chapters of The Red Tent periodically, it's lovely. Well not always lovely as in the story, but so well written.

Turtle sandbox is gone - Freecycled and taken away. Getting ready to post some Mormon paraphernalia and find it a new home too.

Worked my ass off.

I hope I can say that literally as I did not do formal exercise ( what I try to term "Intentional Movement") today. I feel I was plenty active, however, in carrying, loading and sweeping and such! Although it is quite disappointing that when I DO lose weight my already flat ass goes first and my big huge belly sticks around until the bitter end!

Both the garage and the purple room formerly known as Emily's room are visibly less cluttered. I have two boxes of stuff, including LOTS more books, ready to donate and am getting ready to start a third! It's funny how much I love getting rid of stuff, yet I am kind of a compulsive shopper also. I guess just one more sign that I am a completely balanced person, right?

Happy today for: green peppers. Yummy both raw and cooked, easily washed and prepared, no peeling necessary. I grow them every summer. California Wonders are my favorite variety to grow. I can't wait for it to get warm enough to plant. Usually we have to wait until Mother's Day around here to make sure and avoid that last frost.

Feeling good/bad

Great mentally.

Just realized however, after loading stuff in the car to take to dump/recycling/ bulky item day that I am pretty worn out. It must be from periodage because I have slept this week, including last night. I did end up staying up late talking to Heather as she awaited Hannah's arrival, but I slept late this morning. I have been working on the garage - for some reason I think I need to complete the garage or at least get it better to finish the closet in the purple room. Maybe bulky item day where you can get rid of items for free is spurring it, but for some reason I am also doing things like organizing canned goods... I guess just because I have really wanted to do that for a long time. All I really need to do is make space on the bookshelves to move the books out from the purple room formerly known as Emily's room but I am making it major. But anyway after Deb's caution to watch out and take care I am resting a little before I drive over and have to UNLOAD all this stuff. It would be quite embarrassing to pass out or something at the dump and quite gross to have to sit down on the ground if I felt it were imminent... I have been careful to drink a lot of water today and eat well and have checked my sugar because I have been so active. I think I will have some red meat when I get back. I have some little chopped steaks in the freezer. Maybe I should go somewhere and get a spinach salad and get some veggie iron too.

Notes on the garage:

I found two jars of home canned food somebody gave me dated 6/99. Yeah - getting rid of those. One I believe is deer chili.

Found a box of Jiffy muffin mix where a mouse/raccoon/opossum/ who knows what in my garage ate not only most of the mix, but also the box.

Finally going to get rid of a tire some lovely person dumped in our yard about two years ago - but I do have to pay $5.00 fee for it.

Culled out about another 10 books to get rid of. Still torn on a lot of the children's books, but starting to lean toward tossing the paperbacks, even if they are favorites. Heather said when she started to read "Sport" it had some kind of larvae in it. Maybe keeping books in the garage is not the best idea, but my house is so tiny and I don't want it cluttered. At least I know keeping my nice hardbacks inside is the right choice. I wonder if mothballs are a good idea?

Quickness!

Have things to do!

Happy today for: Q 95 radio station, grapefruit ( I had to give it up when I took Lipitor and now it is back in my life! YAY!!!). Good feedback on THE BIG REPORT at work. Good freecycling lately, have given some good things that made me feel happy.

Am torn between feeling totally exhausted and totally hyper stay up all night and work. We'll see what happens.

Warning! TMI

Gross. Gross. Gross. Some of you may know I have fibroid tumors in my uterus. I have had surgery once before to have SEVEN pounds of them removed. Now some have grown back. Usually I have one day a month where I have heavy bleeding, but it has not been too intrusive of life the past couple of years. Not true today. I went to lunch with some coworkers and when I stood up all hell broke loose! I got in the car and drove back to the office, grabbed some baby wipes (I keep them in the car) and went into the downstairs restroom (the first available) thinking I could do damage control - WRONG! So bad. I had passed a clot about the size of a baseball. I ended up having to wipe blood off the bathroom floor. Went to the environmental services office that is nearby and used the phone, had someone track down Leah, told her she would have to do my part of production for tomorrow's papers and came home and showered and lay down and lay still for the rest of the day, until time for class tonight. Yuck and gross. I was worried when I started to drive home I would pass out after knowing how low my blood pressure has been and how much I had just bled, but I made it okay. I have been drinking a lot of water to make sure I am hydrated. Ugh. I really want a hysterectomy. Of course, I can't afford it.

Okay new subject. Finished my last class tonight. The guy I have been crushing on approached ME when it was all over and said, "Now's the time we exchange emails and all that stuff so we can keep in touch and help each other out with all this." YEAH BABY! I told him about the job I want to apply for and told him I might send him my resume' to look over tonight or tomorrow, and if I should just happen to have a party in the next month or so and maybe invite him too... well.

Weight this morning was 214.2. I'm really dying for it to go UNDER 214. Maybe if I bleed enough... :)

Happy today for: 2 Blue jays in 2 yards in a row flying up in the trees in identical flight patterns. It just struck me as really cool and really springy and happy. I know really blue jays are kind of mean and nasty birds, but they are colorful and I am partial to larger birds, like hawks, blue jays, and woodpeckers, also the herons.

DInner:

at Ragazzi for Gretchen's fund raiser was very nice. The group was small, but I think some probably donated more than the fifty dollar suggested donation so she probably got some bucks. I even gave a little along with the cheesecake. I really, really like her a lot. On a personal level as well as a political level. And the personal level helps because I feel like when I talk to her then she can take my experiences and use them to really represent other people like me! I am a single mother who has technically been homeless, through the welfare system, a victim of domestic abuse, lived with the effects of mental illness, going through a mortgage crisis... sheesh! What else can a girl ask for in this life!

It felt nice to be with a group of people who really care, bunch of bleeding heart liberals like me!

AND they all raved about my cheesecake. :)

That never hurts.

Happy today for: SUNSHINE, and billing day. I love at the end of the month transferring all my paperwork to the "complete" files. It is a tangible sign of all the work I have done and very satisfying.

Job in the paper today for "Clinical Communications Specialist" It was a blind ad, but I looked it up and it is with Cook Urological. The only thing it wants that I don't have is experience with InDesign computer program. I think I will apply anyway and see what happens. Cook is a great company, but this particular branch is in Spencer about a half hour drive from here. That would suck really badly.

Real life

interfered with my TV habit. Michael's cello lesson was switched to tonight instead of Thursday and he walked to Gillian's to wait for me while I finished class. Then afterward I hung out for a while while he and Rebecca played chess so I missed "Biggest Loser" I will have to look online tomorrow and see what happened.

Only one more class on Thursday and I will be done!

Good health visit today. I have "permission" (I know it's my body and I always can) to leave out one morning pill and see how it affects my daytime sugar levels. They have been getting awful low sometimes. My morning levels are still often higher than what she wants so we may end up moving it to the evening, but I feel really positive about getting to my goal of getting off of some of this medicine! Blood pressure was 102/60! I feel like that's too low! No wonder I see stars if I turn my head quickly! She thinks it's great, though.

Happy today for: A good phlebotomist. He asked how my veins were and I replied, "two words: butterfly needle." (A pediatric size needle) and he said he couldn't use a butterfly needle because he had trouble with them, but he had another small kind of needle he would use. He did a GREAT job in my tiny vein, when I hadn't even really drunk enough water today and I don't even have a bruise. If you knew my history, you'd know this is MAJOR. I had a nine pound baby in two hours and the entire time I was freaked out about the IV - no kidding. When I was actually close to death and being hospitalized with a kidney infection, guess what - hysterical with the IV - they blew up every vein in my hand and ended up in my wrist after having to give me like an hour on the phone with Deanna to calm down. Surgery for uterine tumors; by then I realized the problem and had dr. give me MAJOR oral tranquilizer before hospital - I propositioned the anesthesiologist! So yeah - I practically propositioned this guy today I looked at him and said, "I just LOVE a good phlebotomist!" So he asked me if I knew how to spread my labia and cleanse them to provide a clean catch urine sample. Yeah - former kidney patient, I know, I know. (No he didn't really say that, but he did hand me the packet and ask if I was familiar with the procedure.)

Cheesecake is baking.

Had some breakfast, showered, watching REM on Today show. They are from Erin's neighborhood. Maybe if I get down to visit Erin we can hang out with the guys and jam.

Weight this morning was 214.2. I feel relieved. I did it twice just to make sure! And that reminds me I should have a glass of water in front of me! I am so much better at drinking water at work. I have a dr. appt in a little bit. It will be nice to report that I have lost some weight.

I'd better go finish getting ready. My head/ neck are aching a little bit again today. Kind of a bummer with a long day ahead of me, including a class and stuff. Sigh.