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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Okay, I didn't make midnight.

Here's what I did instead:

Ed:

I have enclosed copies of Michael's upcoming activities and events as far as we know. Many of these activities take place on weekends, even though they are academically related. The trip to National Science Olympiad is still uncertain as there was controversy in judgment at the state tournament level and the National organization cannot make the final decision about South's participation until all the state tournaments have been completed. The coaches estimate they will be notified of the decision approximately April 30 or May 1. I have also enclosed a copy of the orchestra schedule which includes events that are already scheduled.

All of Michael's pursuits include fund raising events; car washes, orchestra ensembles for donations or pay, bake sales, hot dog stands and more. Many of these events are not planned very far ahead of time, but quickly as opportunities arise, and the students and their families do not receive much advance notice, just pleas to be there and help! As we are notified of more impromptu fund raising events we will let you know as soon as possible so that you are aware of Michael's schedule more fully. Often when he is on a visitation weekend I attend fund raisers as our family representative, but many of the warmer weather types - car washes and hot dog stands for example - are too difficult for me because of health concerns, and I definitely can't fill in in the cello section if it's an ensemble! It is vital that Michael takes responsibility for helping his teams and the orchestra with his attendance. He will be the section leader for the cellos on the France trip and it is important that he practices and demonstrates his leadership skills before the trip as well.

Michael is also a frequent volunteer at Community Bike Project where he is recognized as a knowledgeable and trustworthy mechanic. The organizers of the Bike Project respect, mentor, and teach Michael. In return he donates much of his time to the project. He would like to be able to continue to spend as much time as possible at the project through the summer, which is very busy. I am sure you recognize that Michael has deep feelings about encouraging biking to improve our community and our environment. His work with Bike Project is based on his principles toward achieving those goals as well as his enjoyment. He is participating in writing grant proposals and even working with his school counselor and the "High Achieving Recognized student" (new phrase for gifted and talented) coordinator on a possibility to make his work with Bike Project be recognized for academic credit next year! All these activities are great for college applications and in fact, Michael has already been nominated as a scholarship recipient for the "Leaders of Tomorrow" program.

It is important for Michael to have consistency with his cello lessons to maintain his skills, even through the summer. This year he was selected as an alternate for the All-State orchestra. The audition tapes for All-State are due not too soon after the school year begins. He would like to audition again this year. He needs to have as many lessons as possible to be able to prepare his audition pieces completely and make recordings which are high quality. He has recently begun working with a new teacher and needs consistency in his lessons with the new techniques, styles and theory he is now learning.

I understand your desire for Michael to have as much visitation as possible and for you to get your "fair" amount of time. It is important that we work together in parenting to help Michael accomplish his goals musically, athletically and academically. Perhaps we could work out some alternate visitation schedule that allows for the increased responsibilities he now has. For example, next weekend is my father's 80th birthday celebration. My father would be hurt if Michael would not be able to attend. I propose that Michael attend this important family event, then I can bring him to your house afterward (Saturday evening) where he spends the remainder of the weekend. Through the rest of the school year and probably throughout the summer there will be many weeks where Michael will need to stay in Bloomington for fund raising activities or even to have a job. It has not been possible in the past years because of your shift work, but now that you work first shift, maybe you could come to Bloomington to spend some time with Michael, even on a weekday afternoon and evening. You could participate in an activity, have a picnic or a hike together, etc.

If you have upcoming family events, vacation plans, special things you would like Michael to attend I would like to honor those as well. Could you possibly make copies of these calendars, add those types of things and return copies to me? I would like to work together and make the rest of the school year and summer a good experience for Michael and for both of our families.

Thanks.

Hope

Any suggestions? I'm putting it in the mail at 4:00 tomorrow so comment or email me with improvements as soon as possible. Any good family lawyers who read this?? Give me your input if you can!

2 comments:

Deb said...

The letter makes it clear Michael is at the center of your wishes for healthy co-parenting, willing there be times to adapt (in Michael's best interest).

Beautifully well done.

Lisa said...

I read this too late apparently, but sounds great. I'll be interested in his response.