It has been a busy, busy weekend. I was up until after 4:00 Friday night (Saturday morning!) baking for the Farmer's Market, slept until about 7:30, got up and went to the market, set up - thanks to Michael's help - then was nice to people and all sales-persony until about noon. Yeah, it just about killed me. Being pleasant on Saturday is NOT my strong point. You know I love my weekends in solitude. I gave away almost 200 samples, got more names for my mailing list and have many people looking forward to the holiday market where they will be able to purchase full-size products. I am excited. The Tuscan Spice bread was a HUGE hit - everybody loved it. I have adapted the original recipe now so it is vegan and about 80% whole grain. I bet I sell a lot of it. Thanks Amber for the original! One guy tried the cookie and said it was the best he'd ever had, that the flavor just seemed to "burst" into his mouth. Yay.
After the market I went to Re-Store and Opportunity House, hoping for some perfect house accessory, pedestal sink and warm sweatshirts, all to no avail. I did buy one book at Opp. House. I couldn't resist, even though I have MANY I have acquired lately and have yet to read!
I realized I had not eaten all day except a coffee... bad, bad diabetic... nor taken medicine either. WTF! I was really out of it by then. I drove though Wendy's, made some poor food choices in my delirium of low blood sugar and fatigue, came home and ate and fell into bed with a movie on to calm my racing mind...started to sleep, phone rang. Sigh.... but it was a good call. A nice friend I hadn't really talked to in a while. We ended up spending a little time together before I finally got my nap in. Then I slept very, very well. I woke up after 7:30 and Scarlett's party started at 7. I sort of cleaned up and headed over to Scarlett's. It was pleasant, but crowded in her tiny place. I ate some actually nutritious food and drank some water, which made my body happy. Michael had gone to a bike race and party and he called, needing a ride home because he had worn out his brakes and had a problem with his hub. I left and retrieved him and when we got home I went BACK to bed, and slept late again this morning.
I called Mom and she really probably could have used me today. She is having a hard time emotionally as Dad is talking more and begging and demanding to go home from the nursing home. He is really not physically able and Mom cannot care for him so he has to stay. I called Heather and she said she was going up later this afternoon. I decided to stay home and rest and try to clean up some more here so I could start the week a little better. It was good I did that. I have slept on and off throughout the day for an hour or two at a time. I probably would have been completely useless as emotional support or physical assistance had I driven to Lafayette. Michael and I are going up on Friday and we will try to be helpful and supportive while we are there. Mom said Dad is starting to talk well enough to tell stories again. Maybe I can leave Michael at the nursing home to talk to Dad and take some time to go work at the house. We HAVE to get more stuff out of there to accommodate Dad if he improves enough to go home.
Michael and I were just talking. We agree that it seems to have been a long weekend and a short weekend at the same time. I did SO much that it seems like it lasted forever. I didn't do what I usually do, however, so it seems like it can't be over yet. I haven't cleaned, worked on the house and yard, gone to the dump, had much alone time (that I wasn't sleeping) read, etc... It is a short week because Michael is out of school Thursday and Friday and I am going to take off work, but with the trip to Lafayette and Chicago it will also be unusual. I feel some stress about all this, but I am just going to have to shake it off and keep plugging along.
I also remembered a bill I was supposed to pay with this paycheck and haven't done yet. I spent a lot of money on ingredients and stuff for samples and also made a hotel reservation TOTALLY forgetting this bill. I have to figure this one out. I hate hate hate living on the edge financially. Sigh. I don't know when it will ever end. I will just try to be my usually blissfully optimistic self and hope for the best. I looked up a bunch of good recipes tonight and told Michael we will cook good food at Emily's and not eat out. The only eat out I am planning is when we plan to get with my friend Marci and I have already told her we need to think budget.
Still need to work on some more "regular" weekend stuff and try for bed by midnight, so it's back to laundry and dishes for a little bit!
Losing a Parent
6 years ago
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