Sunday, October 4, 2009

Back home again...

It feels good to be back in my own house.

Heather and I worked our asses off cleaning at Mom and Dad's. I have realized over the last few years why I have some emotional hangups with housekeeping and a couple of them have been triggered lately. Probably time for some more therapy! Over freaking house cleaning! Heather was really great, though and just kept going even though it was so late and she hadn't felt very well on top of it.

Mom got on both our nerves a few times. I don't know if part of it is her hearing problems that she likes to pretend don't exist or if she is intentionally so obtuse and annoying. It's probably a combination of the two. Today I finally said in response to one of her out-of nowhere- comments, "Why are you saying that? I didn't say anything like that. You're just making it up!" Heather backed me up on it. I think part of my resolve to become less passive-aggressive in my parenting is also going to have to include in my daughtering too.... Instead of just letting things slide and being upset about them I am going to say it out loud! "I don't like it when you ask about how much medicine I take. I get upset when you make comments on my weight. I can let my hair go gray if I want to, it's not your business." Those are just some examples. Last night I even practiced on Heather what I was going to say if Mom criticized the way we had done the housework! Fortunately, I didn't have to do it!

Heather took Mom and went out to the hospital just after lunch time and I stayed at the house and finished up some of the tasks we had been working on for the past couple of days. I suggested to Mom a couple of things that she work on until we can come back again. The main thing is to sort out clothes she no longer wears. She literally has clothes in her closet from the seventies - the EARLY seventies. I remember when she made them! I called the RS President because Mom had mentioned that she had called and offered to help. I had to leave a VM, but I explained to her that Heather and I want to make the house safe, and that Mom and Dad hanging their clothes with tension bars across the hallway needs to stop. I guess they have even been told by the fire dept that they have to get that hallway cleaned out because it is unsafe. They have had to call the ambulance so many times over the past few years that the first responders are familiar with the household situation!

I fight my acquiring and hoarding temptations too, but most of the time I win. I feel like if I start to lose it and somebody reminds me that my health and my family's health and safety are in danger that I would be able to get it back under control. I'd like to say, well maybe it's harder when you get older, BUT if Mom has clothes in her closet from the early seventies that means she was my age or younger when it started!

Emily, please be assertive bordering on aggressive if you see me getting any worse. And get your own apartment as soon as possible so I don't have to babysit your stuff any more. I need room so I can go shopping! haha!

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