Random:

I would like to learn to play the harmonica, but I know deep down inside I would not practice, even if I had one.

I think my favorite song lyric is, "I woke up this morning and got myself a beer."

I went to Aldi with Heather, and the store there has a fully uniformed guard at all times. I wonder if the guards carry guns.

If I go to a concert this year I want to go see Aerosmith.

I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so I can mow the lawn.

I have a few things I buy compulsively. I have been thinking about it. I know the list includes tablecloths and cloth napkins.

I'm kind of sad right now that I still haven't bought my deserved weight loss reward, and I think David's store is closed on Sunday. Then it will be another busy week and when will I get to go?

In Indy in a couple of places where children were shot people have made these shrines to them. The shrines are stuffed animals and flowers and pictures nailed, stapled or tied to telephone or utility poles. Every time I drive past one I think of them as crucified teddy bears and think it is the saddest thing ever. I don't think it's a good memorial. Some day when I get a digital camera I will take a picture of one. I should have Michael take one with the 35mm. He has been practicing using it lately. It would probably be a striking and sad photo in black & white.

Michael will probably go to Ed's next weekend even though it is Mother's Day. Ed always wants his "fair share." I would be okay with it, except for two reasons. I think it will make Michael sad because we usually go to the greenhouse and buy our plants and start our garden, and I miss my brother on Mother's Day a lot, because he used to ALWAYS call and tell me happy mother's day.

I have been wasting too much time on the computer lately. I should be doing more homework and writing more. I think I am so overwhelmed I am escaping or self-medicating with mindless (well not really mindless, because they are word games) games. I am not self-medicating with food and little games seem to have taken food's place. I'm losing weight, but computer games take up more time than chocolate.

I hated it this week when someone asked me how I was and said, "tired" at the same time I did. I hate that people know I am tired, or that I look tired, or that I complain too much about being tired. I need to take even better care of myself so I can get over this fatigue. I think it should fade as the weight keeps going down and class is over and Michael's activities have breaks and all that, but I feel really aware that I am giving the impression of exhaustion to people. I AM tired, I AM overwhelmed, but I am happy too!

Another thing. I wish I could watch more movies, both at home and at the theatre. I really, really enjoy good movies and some bad movies and I miss them. Maybe this summer while Michael is traveling and gone to Ed's I should vow to see a movie each week. I have the two movies a month deal from Netflix, which also includes one movie online each month. I have had the same disc all month and still haven't watched it. It's like a faster way to have something to analyze, enjoy and ponder without the time of reading a book. I feel like I have lost my skills of analysis and critique because of lack of exercise.

I want to ride my bike soon. I haven't been out on it this year. I am a fair-weather bike rider only and fair weather is mostly here now!

I need a drink of water so I am going to quit and DO something. I am leaning toward staying here and working on the housework tonight. I had thought a friend might come over, but we only had tentative plans. Then tomorrow my house will be all clean and I can devote to homework and yard work and get some good things accomplished. Now the age old question - listen to the radio or choose a CD? I am a lucky woman if that is something to even think about. What a gift my life is!