Hard Night...

Emily and I got bitchy with each other at the gift wrap thing. I wanted to decorate the Christmas tree when we got home and she came in the bedroom and shut the door. I ended up getting upset and going to bed for a couple of hours. I probably needed it anyway. I realized I haven't taken any medicine or had any water today. That is probably behind a lot of my bitchiness. I hadn't eaten too badly, but had no protein. I checked my sugar when I got out of bed and it was 172, which is really high for me lately. So I just ate a big chunk of turkey and some tomatoes and now I am going to take my medicine.

I am going to get stuff picked up in Katie's room because we have been using it over the weekend, but I think she's coming here tonight. then I want to try to watch the rest of that movie and see what's eating people in New York. Emily said she'd try to get her stuff together tonight so we can decorate the tree in the morning before we go up north.

I still feel cranky and tired and somewhat emotional. I hate it when I am like this. Sometimes i just feel like I spend so much time taking care of everybody else's needs. I try to make sure everybody is fed, then I clean up, then take them where they need to go... by then it's time to feed them and clean up again. I need to quit spoiling my children, who are really big enough to take care of themselves. I am doing some serious thinking about Christmas. I might go on strike for cooking and cleaning again. I did it last year and Heather did most of the cooking. Problem with doing it is that if I go on strike, I have to be willing to accept other people's standards and not be psycho if things aren't the way I would do them. That is maybe harder on me mentally than just doing all the (or most of the) cooking and cleaning myself. I kind of have to choose between one or the other. I wish I could not be so psycho and be like a normal person. :(