Thursday, July 15, 2010

Le Sigh...

I went to Dr. Karin last night after work and we talked about why the headaches are returning both in frequency and intensity. Possibilities are: new diuretic, chlorine from swimming, using long unused muscles in swimming, and of course, everybody's favorite - STRESS.

Garet and I were supposed to swim last night. I was supposed to do breast stroke only - if I had a headache today it was the chlorine - no headache meant some certain muscle that is used more in the rotation or freestyle, which I tried to do a lot of last time because it is a better cardio workout. The pool was pretty crowded, however, and Garet is really self-conscious about his (lack of) swimming skills, so we went to Target instead. I need to start acquiring little by little and as cheaply as possible what Michael might need for dorm life. Emily and I honestly worked on it ALL summer before she went and not it's only a month or so away for Michael. he moves in on August 25. It will help that he is right here in town, though. It won't be hard to wait until clearance sales and thrift shop shopping can be done. If I find something I can just get it to him.

I was in a bitchy and whiny mood last night. I feel sorry for Garet for putting up with me. I am still trying to figure out how and if our relationship is working. I stated very strongly last night. "I really want to go to karaoke Saturday night and I really want you to go with me." He has NEVER come to karaoke with me! It's such a fun part of my life and we haven't shared it. I also want him to meet some more of my friends and see how he interacts with them. I sent FB invites to some of my pals and I hope at least a couple can come because I feel like this is a landmark event. I need to see if Garet is willing to do what I want to do on occasion. I have always deferred to his desires, which is not really the way I function - I think most of you know that. I want to be with him, but I don't want to give up my regular life and friends for him. It's ALL important. It would probably be easier if we had normal schedules, but we don't. I still think we need a way to work out time together, time with friends, time alone that is well-balanced. Imagine! I have one more thing in my life in which to seek balance! haha!

My head was better today until the end of the afternoon, then I really started feeling tension in my neck that was painful. I took a couple of Mother's Little Helpers and then when I got home from work I lay down and slept for a while in front of a fan. It's miserably hot and humid, which adds to the stress, I think. When I get home I feel like I should mow and work on the yard, but it is too hot! I'm not willing to die for an immaculate lawn, although it is tempting. At my celebration of life all my neighbors could praise my purple door and my tomato jungle and say what beauty I added to the cul-de-sac!

Okay, I have a list tonight I have scarcely looked at and some of it is important, like making sure the utilities are not close to being cut off... better start with those!

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