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Monday, July 19, 2010

King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

I heard this while driving home from the car wash tonight and it took my breath away. I think this is what my "Getting Back on Track" program is all about: no more hurting, hiding, fixing everybody else. I need to fix myself.

Amber offered money tonight and I HATE taking money from people, but I have accepted with gratitude when offered. I think I need to accept this offer with gratitude. With the license plates due, the want/need to see Dr. Karin and a car insurance issue I haven't even mentioned, there is a chance I could not make it to Lafayette this weekend if I don't accept it. AND this weekend is the see Lu and try to see Erin weekend, NOT just a go and be a slave weekend. I have probably spent hundreds of dollars on driving to Lafayette every weekend to be the slave. I would have the money for the fun weekend if I hadn't done that. I am going to email Amber right now and say yes, with gratitude.

1 comment:

Kim said...

I am proud of you. And you know my belief that what you give comes back. So God and the universe bless Amber. You are a good person, and have a heart of gold.

I am so jealous you get to see Erin this weekend. Give her a big hug for me. Have so much fun with our girl.

And I am proud of you for the choices you are making and the discoveries you are finding. It is never easy to come into our true self. But you are doing it with grace and for that I love you. (well I loved you anyway.)