Biggest Loser

While watching "The Biggest Loser" tonight it occurred to me that if (I should say WHEN!!) I get as completely thin and healthy as I want to be that I will probably have a body similar to Allison Sweeny, only probably more belly, even if I do get a tummy tuck for the skin. She is round, though she is thin, with round arms and legs and face. You can see her collar bones and I can see that I have some now. She also has kind of rounded shoulders and not a big booty... That makes me feel good because of course, she's beautiful! I have kind of told Emily that, that we just have ROUND bodies, we're curvy girls. When I talked to Emily about it I mentioned Drew Barrymore, but it's nice to see someone else that I think fits it and is considered beautiful in our society. I am kind of sad that they hid Allison's pregnancy last season. Maybe she asked them to, thinking it was too personal or something. I certainly hope it wasn't because a big pregnant belly wasn't considered acceptable on a weight loss show!

Concerning weight, fitness and health. Balance is certainly a difficult task. With my insurance company health coach once of my goals is to find ways to learn to relax again. To that end I have begun knitting hats again. I love knitting hats and I really missed it last year when it got cold and I had no hats to donate. I had a goal to complete two hats in May and I have already accomplished that. I am on hat three. Drawback to hat knitting is that traditionally, my hat knitting time has been while watching TV or movies. That is what I have done. Lately, however, intentional movement time has been while watching my TV shows on the internet. So hat knitting, while relaxing, has taken away some of my intentional movement time. I guess if it EVER stops raining and I am able to mow and dig and weed again I will get more movement that way, but this week I have kind of sucked at it.

Balancing my life is so difficult for me. I always think I will achieve it (balance) after this week or after this project or after this school year or after this vacation. Maybe I need to realize that it is an ongoing battle that may fight for the rest of my life. As I learn that the world won't fall apart if I leave the dishes dirty at night I need to learn that in other areas I can pick and choose EACH day what is right for my health and my mental and emotional balance that specific day. Different factors change daily - the weather, my pain quota, my work situation, events scheduled, etc and I need to learn to judge more appropriately without guilt over the choices I make.

I think my list-free Sundays are helping. I still have a mental list going in my mind most of time, but with no paper list it is much less confining and I don't stay up too late thinking I can't go to bed until it is all accomplished. YAY me!