Mom liked me too!

Judy sent Garet an email about how nice it was to meet me. She said I am wonderful and relaxing to be with. She really wants us to come out and visit at their house and bring Michael too. Garet is an only child so if he and I stay together long-term (which I still want desperately, so far) Michael and Emily will be as close to grandchildren as she will ever get. As far as I am concerned that's a big bonus for her, because I love my children so much.

Assorted Random Various of today!

About 5 days after the sprain.

The big bump is mostly gone, although it tends to swell again at night. I am not very good at staying off my feet!

My foot is pretty blue all the way down to my toesies. All I can wear are flip flops because even my regular sandals have straps that go across the tops of my feet!
Meeting Mom and Dad - Judy and Gary. I finally just said we need to do it and if I am afraid to go out to the farm because of the (five!) dogs, they will have to come over here! So we cooked out and it was really nice. Judy and I talked and talked. She said it was a real treat to be invited to someone's house and complimented the house several times and you know how I love that!

Awww... He's so sweet!
(Look how easily I balanced all those glass dishes on my head!)

You can see where Garet got his beautiful smile and twinkling eyes!

Random various assortment Attempt #2

Sprained ankle the night it happened. Owie! It's hard to tell in this picture, but that bruised bump was swollen about one and a half inches above usual skin level.

The new hole in the knee. Deeper this time, I think, but I didn't have to actually pick gravel out of it like last time.

The big screen in the stadium at University of Illinois. The Assemble Hall looks like a giant flying saucer - no kidding! I should have taken a picture of the exterior.

Seniors and coaches of Bloomington South Science Olympiad for Nationals. Michael wore his beautiful suit coat, but wore the blue, double knit turquoise houndstooth checked pants with it. Sigh...

This is what it is like in Northern Indiana where I came from.* * Disclaimer - this is actually in Illinois because when I was was in Indiana flatlands I was on the interstate and couldn't safely stop for a photo shoot, but it is the same topography.

This is South Central Indiana where I stayed. Whenever we drive through this area the first stanza of this poem comes to my head:

"Contentment"
When you ask why I dwell here docile among the far green hills,
I laugh in my heart. My heart is happy.

The peach-blossom watches the river running, but remains content.
There is a better heaven and earth than the busy world of men.

Li Po as translated in The Jade Flute: Chinese Poems in Prose, Peter Pauper Press 1960

Michael with the mellow yellow cello on Senior Honors Night, May 17.

Michael getting his awards on Senior Honors Night.

Garet and me. It looks like I adore him or something, doesn't it?

Trying to not freak out.

I had to hire somebody to finish the bathroom because it must be done so I can have two working sinks by next weekend for the graduation party. "Old Joe" is doing it for practically nothing and he is willing to wait until Friday to get paid. I went in to check and he didn't do the tile right. He didn't match up the edges and the pattern! I am pretty sure that I am NOT being OCD, and that it is pretty standard to place tile so it all matches... As little as he is going to charge me I don't feel like I can tell him to do it again. He's even going out to buy trim on his own dime to finish it when he knows I can't pay him for it until Friday. I will just have to grit my teeth and be happy to have the base flooring put in and a functioning sink and know that I have enough extra tile to redo the bad parts when I can crawl around on the floor again. It's only peel and stick so it's not hugely expensive and it's not like I have to have a tile cutter to do it, just my sweet little utility knife. I planned to do it myself this weekend, all except the plumbing part, but with the ripped open knee and the sprained ankle those plans were nixed. I will have to refrain from looking at the floor every time I go to the bathroom.

Ow! Whine. Cry.

Garet and I were walking and I fell down AGAIN. I landed on the same knee as last time and reopened the almost-healed wound. I ALSO sprained the ankle on the other side and hurt my wrist. It was an extremely hard fall - I managed to get all those injuries even though I rolled on one shoulder. We were pretty far away from home and I had to walk home. By the time we turned into the neighborhood the sprained ankle felt like it was burning with every step. I took pictures of the beautiful lump on my ankle, but I couldn't get the picture program into download mode and it made me bawl. Michael just brought some frozen corn for my ankle so I am icing it some more. I took 800mg of Ibuprofen and some tranquilizers so as soon as I start to feel the drugs more than the pain I am in bed. It happened right as I was thinking to myself how good I felt and how I would be able to make to the end of the trail and back just like the old days.

I also had determined that I absolutely must get the bathroom floor finished and the sink plumbed before the graduation party on June 6. Now I won't be able to get down on my knees for another month again. I am going to have to pay someone to do it for me, which I really cannot afford.

I must keep reminding myself that this is all trivial shit. It feels big to ME, but then I think of my friend Laura, whose teenage daughter has cancer and their emergency room run today was for something horrible like a feeding tube slipping out of place.

Jamie Oliver

http://www.indypendent.org/2010/04/21/sugar-coated/

Man! I know there are good solutions somewhere. I guess it's up to me to fix the world again. I just have to figure out how I am going to do it!

If I quit working as a Home Vendor and work out of a commercial kitchen one thing I can do is provide healthy products for our local "backpack buddies" program. They send backpacks filled with healthy food home on weekends to families who need them. I "auditioned" for the program once before and took some whole-grain and bran cookie bars. The committee loved them, but found that the guidelines of the program do not allow food from Home-based vendors. Providers do get paid for the snacks, but it's not enough to do much more than cover expenses.

I'd also like to get more involved with Community Kitchen on a regular basis. Until last year I have always provided MANY pies at Thanksgiving. I want to do something regularly, not just once or twice a year. Most of their food prep and serving takes place during my regular work day, however, so I will have to figure this one out.

I mowed tonight and it was so hot and humid it almost killed me. Garet and I are supposed to go hiking tomorrow after work, I hope I have recovered by then. I don't want to be a wimp on him.

Michael did well at Sci O. Nationals. He and Alexander got second place in the "Physics Lab" event. Michael also got eighth in Fossils and tenth in remote Sensing.

I had a RELAXING weekend. Not enough sleep, but some pleasant time with Emily and Scott. I also took Mom to look at some apartments. She called me today and said the Realtor had come over and they are really going to list the house. Mom also said that she almost has the application for the apts filled out and ready to take back. Yay.

It's late and I want to do some housework before I try to sleep, so bye-bye!

No more wogging.

I have to get tested to make sure I don't have a blood clot in my leg first. Sadness. How can they tell that with a blood test? I need to do some WedMD reading. I will probably go to the lab tomorrow before I go to Lafayette. Although seeing as how it is 4:36 am right now and I am not in bed, it will depend on if I go back to bed and end up sleeping ungodly late or staying up.

My visit with Dr. Andry was only so-so today. He seemed a little distracted, which is not usual. He literally cursed the state for the regulations they place on prescribing some medications. I am too poor to go in for as many visits as they require for me to take some of the meds he wants me to take on a regular basis... When he said, "I want you to take XXX again." I said that I couldn't because even though my insurance covers the med as a maintenance med, it won't cover the visits to HIM. That pissed him off - and I know it's not because he wants my money that badly, it's because he wants me to take the medicine. He wrote the prescription for longer than he is supposed to and said, "just take this to the pharmacy and see what they say." They filled the first month and didn't say anything of course, but I wonder what will happen in thirty days.

Michael is at Science Olympiad Nationals. I took today and tomorrow off work because my original plan was to go for the entire competition as a chaperon. Turned out they didn't need me so if I went I would have to pay my own hotel, which I couldn't afford. So today was go to the dr. day and clean house day, and nap day, which is probably why I am awake now!

I have a beautiful man in my bed and I couldn't sleep at all! Usually it's Garet who can't sleep. Around 3:00 he will get up and apologize and have to head home. Tonight I just lay there.... my tummy was rumbling and gurgling and it seemed like no matter what position I tried I was congested... I kept thinking that if I had my whole bed to myself as usual and I could spread out and if I could turn on a movie or TV land I'd be able to sleep! So I decided I might as well get up and play computer for a little while.

Tomorrow I plan to go get my blood draw (probably), then head up to Lafayette. Depending on the situation I will either help clean house for a couple of hours, or maybe try to get Mom and Dad to go out to Friendship house and look around and get an application. After that I am going to continue up to Emily and Scott's. Emily said Scott has to work for a while in the evening so we can have "gurl night." I have an obscure foreign film from Netflix, maybe she will want to watch it with me. Emily and I will have a little more time Saturday, then I will head on down to Champaign-Urbana. The awards dinner starts at 4:30. I will watch Michael win some national Science awards and then head home.

I think Michael is going to head home with me. His big bike trip to Kentucky is supposed to be this weekend! He didn't get his cargo rack completed, though, so I don't know what he is going to do. Maybe if he puts his seat post rack on the long bike that is enough to strap the tent and the sleeping bag to, then he will have to carry his rain gear and food in his backpack. It's a damn shame that he didn't get that rack completed in time for this trip.

Here's a good story. It's been raining continuously here for about two weeks. Garet was assigned to go out and find a good rainy day picture for a front page. He was driving on the highway and saw a group of bicyclists riding in the pouring rain in their rain gear and such. He sped ahead and pulled off so he was facing them as they rode up and he took their picture. When he started talking to them to get their names for the caption and stuff they said they were preparing to ride to Red River Gorge Kentucky and back this week - it was some members of Michael's group! The leader is Greg, the guy who is mentoring Michael in this independent study class. Funny huh? Sometimes it really does seem like such a small world!

When I can start wogging again I am going to train to run. jog or walk a 5K. My goal is to be ready for one in the fall. There is a Utah race finder online that has many listed. I found one on October 9 and proposed that one to Kimsy. The next day when I went to work, however, I was reminded that is the week we are switching our classifieds COMPLETELY and it is all hands on deck. I vaguely remembered Leah telling me I probably couldn't take off for my birthday this year and that is why. I think fall for several reasons: I need a lot of training time - to get some weight off to reduce the strain on my joints and get the muscles strong enough to support them, also to be extra ready because the altitude will kill me. Also I will need to save up for airplane money. I won't have to have hotel money because I will appeal to friends and relatives to provide a bed for me, and probably food too!

I want my nieces and relatives as possible to walk, jog or run with me as able! I am sure Hannah, Jessica and Barbara would be in for it. I'm not sure about Amber because of her arthritis? Amber, want to train with me? I may end up walking if my joints can't take the jogging and I know you can do that! Kim is looking for another race, but you guys let me know if you know of a good one. If you need to bring the babies look for one that allows strollers or baby toting! Kim is in SLC, so good central location would be good. She works in the welfare/ court system so a weekend is probably best.

I don't know if Garet will want to come or not. I haven't talked to him about it yet. I know he will be happy that I set the goal for myself. I know he would be nervous about meeting so many new people at one time. My sister in law would probably have a freakout about me being a fornicator and I am not willing to pretend, so if he comes we might have to stay somewhere non-offensive, but still free which might mean Kim's couch or floor. In a way it would be wonderful to have him there, but in a way it would be super fun to have just me with the family and friends too. Kim was talking (writing/typing) about trying to get Kathy or some other Wild Women to come along for the ride/walk/jog. If that were to happen I think I wouldn't want Garet and he would have to meet the fam another time. We've got lots of plans and thinking and discussing to do! First task at hand is to find our what evil thing is making my leg swell and make sure it doesn't kill me, then get all the plans and training underway!

Edited to Add:

Answer to my question -

Diagnosis of DVT

Your GP will ask about your symptoms and examine you. If he or she thinks that you might have a DVT, you may be referred to a specialist. You may have the following tests in hospital.

• A blood test called a D-Dimer. This measures a substance which develops when a blood clot breaks down. If this is negative it's unlikely that you have a DVT.
• A Doppler ultrasound. This is a test that uses sound waves to look at your blood as it flows through your blood vessels. It's the best test to detect blood clots above your knee.
• A venogram. In this test, a special dye is injected into your vein, which shows up the vein on X-ray. This is the best way of showing clots below your knee.

and that is exactly what Dr. Andry said, the blood test first, and then maybe the picture.

Wogging..

20 minutes of intentional movement was on my list tonight. For my first 10 minutes I did my inside thing which is walking in place at a vigorous pace and doing sets with my dumbbells. For my second 10 minutes I set my timer and went around the block walking 100 paces, then jogging 50 paces - "wogging." After each set of 50 my lungs would burn and I thought I would fall down, but I did four complete sets, made it all the way around the block, which even has a small incline, and back home. My timer was already at zero when I arrived so it was at least 10 minutes, maybe more. Yay me.

I have an appt. with Dr. Andry Thursday morning at 9:45. I have already started my list of things to talk about and made my list of medications and what I'd like to change and what I need refills.

I also put yoga on my list, but I haven't done the tidy my room part of my list yet and it is too cluttered to do the yoga successfully. No room for downward facing dog! I will probably put the squiggly line through yoga - that means that I didn't complete the task or activity because I CHOSE to, not because I am a bad person or a failure, see? Realizing that having to complete tidying AND yoga would keep me up too late, which is probably more detrimental to my health than completing the yoga is beneficial is a reasonable CHOICE, which allows for the squiggly line in my happy world. I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place. I'm in my...

Biggest Loser

While watching "The Biggest Loser" tonight it occurred to me that if (I should say WHEN!!) I get as completely thin and healthy as I want to be that I will probably have a body similar to Allison Sweeny, only probably more belly, even if I do get a tummy tuck for the skin. She is round, though she is thin, with round arms and legs and face. You can see her collar bones and I can see that I have some now. She also has kind of rounded shoulders and not a big booty... That makes me feel good because of course, she's beautiful! I have kind of told Emily that, that we just have ROUND bodies, we're curvy girls. When I talked to Emily about it I mentioned Drew Barrymore, but it's nice to see someone else that I think fits it and is considered beautiful in our society. I am kind of sad that they hid Allison's pregnancy last season. Maybe she asked them to, thinking it was too personal or something. I certainly hope it wasn't because a big pregnant belly wasn't considered acceptable on a weight loss show!

Concerning weight, fitness and health. Balance is certainly a difficult task. With my insurance company health coach once of my goals is to find ways to learn to relax again. To that end I have begun knitting hats again. I love knitting hats and I really missed it last year when it got cold and I had no hats to donate. I had a goal to complete two hats in May and I have already accomplished that. I am on hat three. Drawback to hat knitting is that traditionally, my hat knitting time has been while watching TV or movies. That is what I have done. Lately, however, intentional movement time has been while watching my TV shows on the internet. So hat knitting, while relaxing, has taken away some of my intentional movement time. I guess if it EVER stops raining and I am able to mow and dig and weed again I will get more movement that way, but this week I have kind of sucked at it.

Balancing my life is so difficult for me. I always think I will achieve it (balance) after this week or after this project or after this school year or after this vacation. Maybe I need to realize that it is an ongoing battle that may fight for the rest of my life. As I learn that the world won't fall apart if I leave the dishes dirty at night I need to learn that in other areas I can pick and choose EACH day what is right for my health and my mental and emotional balance that specific day. Different factors change daily - the weather, my pain quota, my work situation, events scheduled, etc and I need to learn to judge more appropriately without guilt over the choices I make.

I think my list-free Sundays are helping. I still have a mental list going in my mind most of time, but with no paper list it is much less confining and I don't stay up too late thinking I can't go to bed until it is all accomplished. YAY me!

I'm at 100%, so far.

The Catholic side of the family is getting mad at me today for my comments that it is better that someone go to mass no matter what they are wearing than that they not go at all.

So if I am going to outer darkness for wearing too many earrings and Limbo or Purgatory for not respecting the Host in Catholic mass who else do I need to offend to make sure? I have the Evangelicals covered for the blasphemous Hello Kitty Jesus I had up for a while, but took down so Deanna could read my blog again. Jews don't have hell and the UUs love me the way I am so I'm safe there.

I will have to knit and donate a hell of a lot of hats to redeem myself in the end.

Cry laugh smile ouch Ahhh!

My friend Christie at work had a miscarriage of a very, very wanted baby. She is the other classified rep who is married to the other photographer and I love her a lot. I cried my head off...

While I was sitting at my desk literally SOBBING one of the male sales reps, Kurt walked over to throw something in the recycle can in front of my desk and asked, "Are your allergies bothering you a lot today?" which made me laugh hysterically at how someone could be so insensitive as to look past audible sobs, but Kurt is who Kurt is and if you knew, you'd probably just laugh too...

Nice dinner with Michael, Michael took off for Bike Project then Garet came over and kissed me a thousand times, then we walked for 26 minutes and had a lovely conversation and I cried a little more for Christie and Pete. When Garet brought me home I made him kiss me a hundred more times before I let him leave.

My feet are sore because I started out with swelling already today and some other yuckiness, but I know this is temporary and will pay off in the long run, right? I need to get back to Dr. Karin. Last time she did some stuff that was good for the lymphatic system and it helped the swelling for a while. I probably need to see Dr. Andry too. My meds probably need adjusting. I think my blood pressure is probably extremely low. I feel light-headed much of the time and on the verge of passing out, but I can't cut the diuretic because of the swelling... I can't afford to see him, though. It's $100 a pop and he doesn't take insurance. I need to wait until he won't renew my medicines anymore without an appointment before I go. Sigh...

I started doing my yoga DVD two nights ago. First night was terrible, second night I could complete my downward facing dog with my heels flat. I am anxious to get in there and do it again and see if I can get a little more balance and stretch in the triangle pose.

The end. So there.

Sweet Day.

Nice friends.

Nice children.

Nice boyfriend.

Update # 2

I didn't get everything accomplished but I feel like I had a good day. I ended up doing a lot and was able to stay active and awake all day despite the sinus pressure and the medication.

Eat only homemade food Done! I did get a Diet Pepsi at DQ when I bought a shake for Michael on the way home, but I was careful to take snacks for the car so I wouldn't be tempted to eat out or go through a drive through and when we got home I made yummy salmon!
Finish Mother's Day truffle orders Almost finished. The filling for the butterscotch was too soft too dip so I had to modify it and I will have to dip them in the morning, but everything else is complete and packaged.
Take a load to the dump Done!
Have all dishes completely washed and put away Pretty done!
Write down paper checks in checkbook Not done!
Take medicine x2 Done!
Watch movie (I have "The Devil Wears Prada") Done!
40 minutes of intentional movement 20 done.
Get Michael from Indianapolis Done!
Drink 6 glasses of water Done ! BIG glassses!
Perform Yoga not done!
2 loads of laundry THREE done!
Clean 2 Swiffers worth of floor Nope.
Go to the garden shop in Indy (?) Done! I spent $16 and when I think of the money I will save even on grape tomatoes I am SO glad!
Put down remaining bag of mulch Nope.
Pot flowers Nope.
Knit seven rows on hat Did about five.
Read 2 chapters Yep.

Tomorrow is a No-List Sunday. Mother's Day is usually plant the garden day, but I am worried that it is too cold. We are going to Renee's for brunch and then in the evening Garet and I are going out. I don't know what will happen in the middle. We will just have to wait and see!

I AM COMPLETELY RELAXED AND FLEXIBLE. :)

Update:

Am I compulsive today or just fueled by caffeinated pain killers? You decide!

So far I have:
first load of laundry washed and in the dryer, second load started.
Read two chapters (Easy, I am reading "Island of the Blue Dolphins" AGAIN)
molded centers of peanut butter and butterscotch truffles and in the freezer.
Kept up with dishes (I am very conscientious about that when cooking for Hope's Homemades)
remembered to take my medicine for the morning (hard on weekends, usually)
Filled my first glass of water

Realized that going to the dump will be hard because trunk is in disarray with spare tire and jack out of place and become overwhelmed with that task.

Added to the list:
to listen to good music (ongoing)
and work on Amber's "gift" (now become a more arduous undertaking because I am getting too creative!)
Feed fish

I am feeling the effects of the sinus medication - not in pain relief, but in the fatigue it gives me. It SAYS non-drowsy, but it is one type of medication that seems to have that specific effect on me... sigh. I always take it hoping that it won't do so, but thinking that even if it puts me to sleep it is better than the pressure and pain. I just hate it when I have this mega list of things to do AND want to drive to Indy SAFELY. Of course, not going to bed until 1:30 or 2:00 or whenever it was, sleeping restlessly because of the wind, already present sinus pressure and pain and worrying about missing the 5:30 alarm and vivid dreams about the orchestra director yelling at me for talking during graduation (!) COULD possible contribute to that fatigue! (Ironic because Michael is not even going through graduation, choosing to go to a bike race instead)

I have to remember, despite the list that my one of my mantras is "I am completely relaxed and flexible." Priorities are the candy orders and getting Michael and health care. Everything else is secondary, right? Right now I am trying to determine if I am really hungry or just anxious. I have to get back to where I can tell physical need from emotional desire for food. I ate about 8:45 so it probably is time. I will check my glucose and see if that can help me determine, I guess. I also don't know what to have for snack. I have bananas and some good natural peanut butter so that would be a good carb and protein, but the bananas are large so I should only have half, ugh.

A misfortunate turn of events...

My 5:30 phone call this morning was not, "I'm on my way to get you," but "I've been up all night throwing up and I can't run." Poor Sweetie! This was to be his third mini and he is home sick in bed! So I got undressed and went back to bed too and slept until about 8:30. Now I have been up and had a good healthy breakfast and I am facing the day with sinus pain and some renewed determination toward some long term goals.

In that determined spirit I am going to reflect my past habit of posting my daily list with the caveat to myself and my dear readers (if any) that achievement thereof may be affected by sinus medication already taken!

Eat only homemade food
Finish Mother's Day truffle orders
Take a load to the dump
Have all dishes completely washed and put away
Write down paper checks in checkbook
Take medicine x2
Watch movie (I have "The Devil Wears Prada")
40 minutes of intentional movement
Get Michael from Indianapolis
Drink 6 glasses of water
Perform Yoga
2 loads of laundry
Clean 2 Swiffers worth of floor
Go to the garden shop in Indy (?)
Put down remaining bag of mulch
Pot flowers
Knit seven rows on hat
Read 2 chapters

Ambitious for a not-feeling-well day, I know. Some items are not negotiable and have to be first priority, including the trip to fetch Michael. I have also put myself on call by telling Garet if he wakes up and needs sick supplies to call me and I will bring. I also kind of want to hit Trader Joe's in Indy because I am going up anyway and we are so low on groceries. Why not get the organic for the better price when we can, right? That limits my time at home more... I think I need to stay here and accomplish as much as I can by 2:00, check in with Garet, then maybe head north. I told Michael I would aim to get him at 6 or 7:00 and that would give me lots of time to go to the garden center that is on the WEST side of Indy, then to Trader Joe's on the NORTH side of Indy, then to get Michael on the EAST side of Indy, then head back down. One travels around the outskirts of Indy on the highway so it's not bad going from place to place, just a little time consuming.

Time to go do my first work period which will include cleaning up from breakfast so I can start molding truffles! I have to resist eating the coconut filling. My gosh it is so good I could eat it by the spoonful and it is pure carbs and fat - good, natural fat, but still not weight-loss inducing! I will have to keep reminding myself how much the Board of Health would frown on eating during production. That is more of a deterrent to me than any personal health matter!

Starstruck

I looked up my old friend Mylese on Facebook and looked at her photos. She went to a wedding in London last year and there was a photo of Colin Firth greeting the wedding party and delivering his gift! I am not one to be starstruck usually, but this one got me. I think because I loved his character in "Love Actually" so much.

Tomorrow is the mini marathon and Garet is coming at 6am. I still haven't made all the Mother's Day truffles. I have all the fillings made, but I haven't actually molded one center. I don't have a ton to do, seeing as how I only have orders for two dozen, but they are spread among five or six different types, which makes it more complex for packaging, etc. Sigh. A LOT of time for very little money AGAIN.

Moving on up...

to the big time...

Car is fixed, and listen to this... my friendly neighborhood mechanic let me write him a bad check and will not cash it until Friday. It is nice to have somebody in whom I trust and that he trusts me that when I say the money will be there it will. So I have transportation problem solved. $200 less in the bank even when payday arrives, but I needed new tires anyway. He said it was only the tires, and the brakes just needed cleaned and adjusted. I knew I needed the tires and they were darned dangerous. I can only ever afford two at a time and these were already pretty bad when I bought the last two.

I think I pulled a muscle in the leg opposite the one with the cuts and the scratch - probably because I caught myself and didn't let myself fall all the way and roll. I skated. I know how to fall. I didn't do it right and now I am suffering. It's not severe, though. I am able to walk around. It hurts the worst if I am going up and down stairs. I even mowed the entire yard tonight. I definitely got my exercise in! I did allow myself to use the self-propel feature on the mower, however, which I plan to not do regularly. I WANT it to be more difficult so I burn more calories!

I watched TWO HOURS of broadcast television tonight. I feel like I wasted my life now. :)
Not really. I actually quite enjoyed it. I hardly ever do that, but I flipped on the TV after my after-mowing-get-the-pollen-off-quickly shower and flipped channels and landed on "How I Met Your Mother" to which Emily had introduced me, but I haven't watched since the last time I watched some with her. It was really funny. Then I watched more shows after it including two episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" which I really like. I used to watch TV on Monday night and watch "Two and a Half Men," but after a while it got to where it was just sex joke after sex joke and it didn't seem funny to me anymore. That's the way "Will and Grace" went with me too. These shows still have other humor in them and I think they're pretty clever. In general I don't watch TV on TV anymore. I was watching "The Biggest Loser" but I don't think I have watched it for three or four weeks. It's probably getting close to the finale. I ought to go to the website and catch up and see!

I thought the tornado sirens were going off for a minute, but it must have been some other noise. It's hard to tell with the washer and dryer going... It's hardly storming, so they shouldn't be.

Michael has decided to go to IU. Rochester offered him even more scholarships and I thought he would decide to go. He would still have to borrow some, however. At IU he may not have to borrow anything so he can probably graduate with little or no debt. He will have to study physics instead of engineering, but there is some guy here who is one of the best particle physicists in the country so Michael is looking forward to studying with him - I looked him up - Richard Van Kooten. He's the guy who took Michael and his fellow geeks up to FermiLab a few weeks ago. I feel good knowing Michael is going into the program known and recruited by this guy.

I need to go make my May goals and make my chart. I'm super sad because nobody else in my weight loss and health group does it anymore. I feel unsupported and alone. :( I am going to try to keep going anyway!

I will post my goals for May here, too:

Move an average of 20 minutes at least five times per week.
Complete knitting two hats of any size.
Eat at least two servings of vegetables and one dairy each day.
Read at least 10 pages per day.
Do yoga at least twice a week.
List-Free Sundays!

Better pictures to post

My Cake wreck! It's a video game character. I can't remember his name now.

Garet, Hope, Emily and Scott. 2 Generations of hot chicks with sweet boyfriends.

Michael all ready and waiting for Karra.

Michael and Karra. She is TINY. Friday night she told us she weighs 92 pounds.

For Deb - who doesn't look at Facebook and wouldn't get to see them there!

The suit for prom:
$12 to purchase at Goodwill
$42 for professional tailoring
$13 to get cleaned.

$77 for something that ought to fit for at least a year or two unless he starts to fill out really fast, and NOT to rent a tux for one night.

His dad - you won't believe this - took Michael out and bought TWO shirts and TWO ties for Michael to choose what to wear to prom. Traditionally over the past sixteen years when Ed has purchased something for the children he has expected to be paid back because, "that's what I pay child support for." Michael said he didn't say anything about it though, so I am not bringing it up!

Good Day, good day, good day, good day... OOPS!

For Deanna, who loves pictures of wounds.

Boy home safely from Prom at 2 am.

Storms through the rest of the night - slept off and on until about 10.

Got up and made a delicious breakfast - looked up title of church sermon and decided to stay home.

Started cleaning and reading intermittently. One little snag... Michael's gazillion dollar graphing calculator went berserk and new batteries didn't fix it. AP Calc and physics tests are this week. Sigh of relief - he says he is sure he can borrow one for the tests.

Started knitting hats again. Happiness. I feel good that I will have a supply to donate when it gets cold this fall. I missed that last year.

Dear Garet popped over to pick up his phone he left last night (thank you, Freud, for making me feel good about that). We had a nice chat and he left to do some work with a promise to return.

Started baking banana bread... looked out the window and noticed car has a flat. Yay! I have a boyfriend who is coming back! After all the flat tires I have changed in my life I may not have to do this one.

Looked on Hulu and found Episode 1 of this season of "Lost" has been put back on. It is the ONLY one I missed seeing in sequence and I substituted reading a few recaps online, which is FAR inferior to actual viewing. YAY!

Banana bread is about done. Boyfriend returns. I send people with Y chromosomes out to change the tire. Tire will not come off the car... WHAT THE ****? I have changed MANY a tire on this decrepit Ford Escort and never had a problem with a tire not coming off!

Banana bread is done. We all eat some. Garet has to leave and finish his work. I wait until focaccia bread is done and am going to head down to nearest gas station, put air in the tire, drive it home, plan to awaken early and check out situation and hope tire is still full of air and it is a very slow leak that I can get fixed at a later time... I get into car and start driving. When I put on brakes at corner GKGKGKGKKRKRKKRKRK!!!!!!! Yeah - the reason the tire would not come off is because there is something intrinsically wrong with the inner connections between the brakes and the wheel somewhere in there. I drive down to the nearby car repair place with no further braking until I arrive, throw my key in the drop box and start walking home - in FLIP FLOPS. I had not planned on the walking thing.

About 100 yards into the journey I slip on slimy sidewalk mud and go down on one knee and palm. Extreme frustration. Dirt. Pain. I get up and nothing is broken. I can walk, but I don't want to. I try to call Debbie and get a ride even though it is only going to be about a mile and a half. No answer. I walk home very slowly. Bleeding. In the rain. (sounding very Hemingway here, huh? But I don't die in the end.) It really wasn't raining anymore, but I had to add that for effect.

Sigh....

The leg has one scratch and two little lacerations which appear quite deep. It was really fun to pick the gravel out of them. No bruise yet, which surprises me, but maybe because the skin actually broke enough blood got out.

I have a ride to work tomorrow with Sue. Garet has a second car and he is going to check and see if it will start and if it will I can drive it until my car is fixed. I only have $1.27 in my bank account so I won't be able to get my car until Friday even if it is a "cheap" repair. Michael gave me all his money left over from prom and the rest of his quarters so I have about $50 to put in the bank if I can get a ride downtown tomorrow. That ought to cover the $3.25 check I wrote for the rest of the corsage - Michael thought it was $15.00 and sent me with $16.00 and it turned out to be $19.25 - and then give me some money for gas if the loaner car needs it.

So one more thing to add to my travails. I had a heck of a week. Work had challenges. Financial had challenges. Family had challenges. Emotional had challenges. I boiled over on Thursday and about had my nervous breakdown. I cried at my desk at work in the morning and in the evening I cried and screamed at Heather (I'm still sorry, Heather), and cried some more to Emily, but then got down to business and got some stuff done.

I know that I am lucky, really. I could be much worse off; have no home, children who are heroin addicts, be sick myself or worse, but right now this is about all I can handle. I am glad Sue is picking me up in the morning. It will be a good positive start to my day. As much as she thinks I will only really be happy if I get to know Jesus, I know that she cares about me and will pick me up with a smile and love, and I mean pick me up for a ride and pick me up emotionally, too.