Baking:

Tonight I made "Healthy Breakfast Cookies" from a recipe from a website. I had to make a couple of substitutions because I didn't have all the right stuff. For example, I used flaxseed meal instead of wheat germ. I did a nutritional analysis on Fit Day with my subs and it came up at 105 calories per cookie. The nutritional analysis on the recipe showed THREE cookies as a serving and said that was only 79 calories. I thought that seemed absolutely incorrect the first time I saw it. So I did a nutritional analysis using all the original ingredients, and even designating lowfat yogurt, which the recipe had not. I came up with 125 calories per cookie. This seems much more realistic considering they say only 24 cookies per batch.

I am going to have a meeting with a woman from the Local Grower's Guild tomorrow after work. They got a big grant for a program called "Backpack Buddies" where they will send backpacks full of nutritious food home with the children of really challenged families each weekend. I am proposing these cookies or something of the type as a product I can provide. I will work with different recipes until I find one I like, but I'd like low sugar, low fat, high fiber and some protein content. I ate one of these and it was pretty good and very filling.

I was so tired at work today I had a cry at your desk moment. I sold a big thing - a $6000 contract - but it was something I had never done before, nor been trained to do. The people that I wanted to help me learn the paperwork seemed to be ignoring me and it was more than I could take. Cory came over for something, saw I was crying and asked what was up, but I told him I couldn't talk right then. I emailed him later and told him I was okay, that Tena finally took me under her wing and trained me. He's always worried about my mental health. He sent me back the "my door is always open" email. I appreciate his concern, but sometimes I think if he really knew it would totally freak him out.... let's see - no money, family problems, health problems, constant pain, insomnia or sleeping at the wrong times, starting a business and losing money like crazy, messy house, holidays approaching, hate winter, seasonal depression, relationship worries... anything else? A couple of years ago he called me into the office and recommended I get counseling and told me he was afraid I was going to kill myself. I think crying must really freak him out. I wonder if his wife never cries about anything. She does always seem cheerful and stuff, but she can't be happy all the time. Maybe she is and he is the only woman he has ever been with so he doesn't understand that tears don't instantly mean you're clinically depressed and in danger. He did have a close friend commit suicide when he was younger so I think he worries quickly when someone behaves "abnormally" in his perception. At work I usually do behave quite cheerful and pleasant. I work with customers and it is my job. I bitch and gripe to my coworkers sometimes, but still, on the whole I believe I am perceived as a positive and "up" person - except by Shawn! :)

Oh well. I need to get to bed. I didn't mean to stay up this late, but I really wanted to do the analysis on these cookies.

More later!