Well...

I sold a little bit at the annual work craft and holiday sale where everybody brings in their stuff. Just about $50. So far I have had about $133 in sales. Of course I have spent HUNDREDS in ingredients, packaging and equipment. Sigh... I was just working on my receipts tonight and it is pretty depressing. I also spent money to take the small business development classes and get the ServeSafe certification and all that. I need to determine what costs can be counted as start-up costs and what are regular operating costs, etc.

Tomorrow I am making a special order of cupcakes to look like sushi. I was so excited when I thought of it when the woman told me her daughter likes Japanese stuff. Then I looked at the internet and it's been done a gazillion times. Oh well, I still think it will be fun to do. I kind of like it when food is like art. I don't know that much about sushi so today I looked at real sushi pictures. To me sushi just meant the rolls with seaweed around them. There are TONS of shapes and types of sushi, so now I am trying to decide if I just want to make it look like take-out trays of the rolls or get really creative and make several different kinds so it will look like a gourmet sushi tray. Part of that might just depend how the time goes tomorrow. Maybe I will start with several rolls and then see if I have time to get creative. She wants a mix of chocolate and white cake so I think I will make half mini cupcakes to make the rolls and then a square cake with the rest of the batter (I'm cheating and using mixes) that I can cut and shape in different shapes if I decide to go all the way. I am worried about using mixes in that they don't have a really firm texture, so I don't think if I try to carve and shape it it will go as well. Maybe I ought to just make a pound cake recipe and put a bunch of melted chocolate in half of it. Pound cake has a much firmer texture. Oh the decisions! I want some Swedish fish to put on top if I make some other shapes but I haven't found any yet! I have looked at three stores, I think. Lots of gummi worms, but no fish. I will definitely take pictures.

I am ready to start decorating for Christmas. Even with all the stress and financial concerns I am feeling very holidayish. I cleaned off the table from last night's baking and put on my snowman tablecloth I purchased on clearance last year. It is so bright and cheerful. I can't wait to get more stuff out! I took one of my trees up to Lafayette for Mom and Dad so I will only have four trees this year. I'm not sure if I can take it.

Last year I loved the blue and silver gift wrap theme so much that I went and bought more blue and silver on clearance for this year. Now I regret it. I don't want blue and silver again. I want either white and craft paper with fancy bows and labels or a snowman theme. I hate to go out and buy stuff at full price for the holidays. That's just not me. I keep thinking of the blue and silver though and being a little sad. God, how terribly selfish I am to care about such trivial shit when the world is falling apart! Maybe it's a way to not focus on the REAL problems of myself and of the world - distraction, avoidance, denial.... I don't even know if I can buy or make any gifts and I am worrying about how to wrap them. Stupid.

Well I am going to do one more fifteen minute round of tasks and then try to settle to bed. I slept after work again. I stayed up until well after 3 am finishing up the stuff for the sale, but for $50, I can stay out of whack a little longer....