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The Perils of Penelope...

This might as well be the Housecleaning of Hope.... even my dream in my last post was about housecleaning...

So I have maybe two months left in this apartment if I decide to move away from Bloomington. I have all the stuff out in the car ready to go to Opportunity House. It's about two weeks until Britt and Sierra are going to come visit for a couple of days, and I may let someone pay a few bucks to use the extra room for a week after that. Here are some photos of my sweet little apartment. I just realized that there aren't any of my bedroom. I took these for the person who may stay here in July, so my bedroom isn't part of the deal. I really do like this little place and if I stay in Bloomington I will stay here another year. I think it was built in the late 60s to early 70s so not just my furniture, but everything is authentic mid-century modern, LOL!

Bad Night

I went to bed pretty early for me last night. I think it was before 10. I read one chapter and then I was so exhausted....but. I slept off and on until about two o'clock and then I was WIDE AWAKE. I lay there and tried all of my little tricks until about 5:30 and my mind was absolutely racing, but not about anything in particular that I could name. I think my heart was even beating fast. It was like I'd had some stimulant, but I hadn't!

I finally went to sleep, but when I was asleep I had bad/weird nightmares about cleaning a house of my parents, which I have done many times before. Various people were around. Emily and Britt were children and were off playing games with Heather. My brother Chris was there. I think Mom was there sometimes. There were other people, but I don't really remember everybody, but I recall an appearance by my cousin'd daughter Amanda, who was a teenager in the dream - she is an adult with children now, maybe even grown children. It was filthy and there was trash everywhere, piles of dirty blankets, towels, clothes. Oh, and I just remembered it was super windy out, and part of it was also trying to get windows closed to stop the wind from blowing everything around. oh, and also it was at one time part of an apartment building, with noisy other tenants, and at one point a taxi driver taking me away and I was like, "no no. I have to go back and clean!" So it was a big ol' frustration dream with so much cleaning to be done and at one point near the end I remember screaming, "Help me! Help me! Why doesn't anybody help me?!" It was so awful. Cat in the fridge eating cheese, trying to find food to cook for the children. Trying to sort the dirty towels and blankets from Mom's clothes all over the floor. Just so much ugh.

Sad experience

I am living on a super tight budget right now, trying not to spend any money out of savings, worried about gas for the car in a week that will include two trips to Indianapolis.... It is under 80 degrees today, so a good day to make some spaghetti sauce so I can eat cheaply until the next pay day. I decided to walk up to Dollar General to get a couple of new freezer containers, because they migrate out of my home as I send leftovers home with people.

So after DG, where I put my three dollars on my debit card because I hardly ever carry cash.... A guy sitting at the picnic tables at Lucky's asked me, "Will you buy me food?" I said no and kept on walking. I felt terrible. If asked for money I always truthfully reply, "I don't carry cash." But saying no to a request for actual food was difficult for me. I wish now I would have said come back to DG and I will buy you bread and peanut butter, but I just kept going. I wish I didn't know better and could have invited him over and made some filling food for him. I wish I would have said, go to Wheeler Mission and they will give you something if you haven't eaten. I didn't say any of those things. I just said no.

June Minimalist Challenge, # 13 That's all folks! (for now)

So.... when you see the photos you will know how much I have done. I have done some amazing things, purged many, many items. Opened several boxes, released things to the world, including storage totes! I still have a couple of areas in my living room  that have items to go out. I will probably take a last set of before and after photos in there tomorrow. I did NOT achieve my goal of having the room usable and also half of the closet empty. Alas, the closet is full. Knowing that my first guest is going to be Britt makes me feel less stress about that. She usually travels only with a backpack, and even though she is driving this time and will have her truck, well... she will have her truck! She won't need a place to unpack and unload.... There is the small matter of the FRIEND who will join her on the trip, but I am guessing that she also will have a simple lifestyle... So now some photos...

Too big clothes, GONE!

Sheet music and office supplies, GONE!

Ugh, piles of paperwork.

Ugh, black mold! This stuff has some pretty cool stuff inside. It is in a plastic bag, waiting to see if a cousin wants it, if not, it will be GONE!

This might be Day 20. Most of this is going out. I did save a couple of the dresses to see if Emily wants them for Anna. 

Day 21, many photos!

Day 22

Day 23. Thos are my old calendars. The earliest one I found was 1983-84. Letting these go was actually a little rough. Also these are notebooks with days of carefully dated and written daily task lists. I kind of flipped through most of them looking for recipes or possibly important things, but SO MUNDANE. I took these out to the dumpster right away so there was no going back. I've already moved these suckers at least twice.... and some of them are so old that I also moved them from apartment to apartment and into the house!

This was photos and office supplies. See the blue folder? It was divorce papers, custody fight crap, copies of letters from Ed and Sheri and shit that made my life MISERABLE. I texted Emily and asked, should I keep all this stuff so I can be accurate if I need to write about it someday or should I burn it and dance around the fire under a full moon.? She replied, "I vote for burning and dancing." SO, even though it's not a full moon, I danced my way to the dumpster and cleaned that SHIT from my life. I will never again have to go through the hell that he put me through. I'm not really much for ritual stuff, but honestly a symbolic cleansing of my house and my life might feel kind of good with that aspect in there....

This is the room now, looking in from the doorway. 

The room looking out from the desk chair. 

Closet is full, and there is an extra table... I am still not sure about the furniture arrangement. 

A little mirror is hung. There is still some stuff for the walls to come.

So.... there is still more to go, but I need a little emotional break. I know that the actual count of individual items probably far exceeds the desired monthly total. Heck, there is actually probably enough for day 25 out there in the living room right now. I am going to work on getting the items donated and also going through the paperwork piles that I have found. Clearing those will help me be prepared for the next stage. I will probably do some summary photos once I get the furniture arranged the way I want, get a bed frame, etc.

June Minimalist Challenge #12 I OPENED SOME BOXES

And so many things are ready to go out....

I have some things I want to keep, but I know that it is a small enough amount that I should be able to organize them.

I have some items that I will scan and keep or photograph and keep. I have some items that I will offer to the cousins or other relatives and if they don't want them they are going out.

pretty sure this is a batch of 19 for today. I did take some individual photos from some of the envelopes. 

This was a batch of 20, counted for tomorrow, just in case I don't get a good opportunity to take a photo. I have a big meeting tomorrow night. 

Some clothes that went out tonight. 

to be donated

To be trashed. Lots have black mold and/or photos are stuck together

Black mold, but I am going to see if my cousin Liz wants this stuff. It has the Holt and Leeper family geneologies. My Uncle Harry's school safety patrol certificates and photos from 1943... 

Some of this has mold, but I want to try to do something with it anyway. My mom and dad's love letters are in here and I kind of feel like I should burn them.  

June Minimalist Challenge #11 Just 18...

Eighteen things tonight but here is the biggy... including some packets of pictures. I looked through and pulled out about ten photos total and the rest are GOING.

June Minimalist Challenge #10 SO MANY THINGS

Such a big weekend of purging. It was very emotional and I was actually sort of upset all weekend. I have been thinking deeply.... deeply. One thing I have always said it "People are more important than things." BUT also that  "taking good care of our things is a way of showing gratitude for what we have." The family photos are somehow fraught with meaning, but I haven't discovered yet what exactly that meaning IS for me.

My friend Ruthie/Jen who helped me with earlier purging came and took boxes of art and craft supplies. She can keep what she wants and then will donate the rest to the Boys and Girls Club. I went through several notebooks and pulled out pages of daily lists and food logs. Some of the notebooks have enough pages to still be useful and they are being assembled for the next donation batch. K came and took the big shelves! There is no going back now. I have decided I want to achieve the closet half empty so that as a guest room it will have some usable storage space. The closet is completely full, so I still have LOTS of purging to do. I got rid of most Halloween items and parts of costumes. (I'm not sure if I posted those pics).... I pulled out an entire tote of gift wrap. I am starting to think about Christmas, what do I really want. I hate to get rid of all of the homemade ornaments, but Emily doesn't want them, and Britt basically lives in a truck. Maybe those will also be photographed and then donated? I don't know. I don't know if I will continue counting items or not. I joked with K that now there are COUNTLESS items, so I need to start counting from the end - Day 30 and 29 and 28 are finished.

Part of me is embarrassed at how much useless crap I found. Part of me is still happy to have the letters and postcards and assorted ephemera....

An orange I had painted MANY years ago

My SAT scores

Soso and ensemble and other orchestra medals

I think this is my costume hat from "Funny Girl"

This was from when I was about 10, a note inside said I received it in a school gift echange

My Seminary certificates (Mormon High School religious education program)

Set of toy keys that had been a favorite for Britt

My sixth grade report card

From Emily

From my niece Tomiko

This is going out to the dumpster tonight

The view looking into the room

The view looking out from the desk chair. 

Another empty box

I think this was day 15

Day 16 THE ENTIRE TOTE of gift wrap