Sunday, October 10, 2010


I've been exhausted lately. I kind of took a weekend off from dance classes and I don't know if it made me more rested or more tired. I took Friday off to go to the orchestra Basket Bingo with Debbie. The first time EVER I have gone and played instead of volunteering to help sell food or something. Afterward we went out to karaoke for just a little while. Yesterday I slept late, then went to campus and got Michael and his laundry. We spent some time just hanging out, then I went grocery shopping while he transferred some files from the home computer to his new laptop. I made a giant batch of egg salad and we had sandwiches for lunch. I might have taken a nap in there somewhere... then I took him back to the dorm. I came home and showered and got ready and then Ian and Heather came from Indy and we went to dinner and karaoke again! I had a lot of fun singing last night. When I got home I was hyper for some reason and stayed up until almost 4am, resistant to even multiple doses of medication.... So today I slept until almost 1:00. I did some productive things today: cut and froze all the peppers I had picked from the garden when we had a frost warning, made one good meal, finished up the laundry I had started yesterday, cut some coupons, decided on the items and sent out invitations to the roadside stand/ website launch party...watched a couple of episodes of "The Office" read a couple of chapters, paid some bills online, etc....

I kind of cheated on my list-free Sunday rule. When I made my list on Saturday I made a "weekend list" instead of a Saturday list. I didn't get near everything completed, but I'm not kicking myself, however. I feel fine about what I did and didn't do. I definitely need to get my ass moving on the bathroom completion, however. I feel a little uncomfortable hosting a three hour party with only one working bathroom, but if it is, it is.

I have a bunch of pictures in my camera I would like to download and share, but for some reason that seems overwhelming. I have a bunch from Heather's birthday party I said I would put on Facebook and it's been about two weeks and I still haven't done it. I also have some amazing pictures from that Pink Floyd Cover band concert I went to and I'd like to post a couple of them.

Tomorrow I am skipping dance class again. I have a date for dinner with Judy from work. I knew Judy LONG before we worked at the H-T. When I was pregnant with Emily I worked with Judy's daughter Susan at Kmart. I lived with them for a while waiting for Emily and took Emily home from the hospital to their house! I stayed there until my apartment was ready and I could move in. Judy and Susan's kindness to me is one reason I always try to "pay it forward" and have provided housing to so may people over the years whenever I could. This current experience is turning out not so well and I am quite disappointed and upset about it. Maybe it is because it wasn't pure kindness, but I expected website building in exchange and it is my bad Karma for not extending the offer purely from the goodness of my heart like I usually have. Sigh. I need it to be over soon, though. I don't like this feeling of being uncomfortable in my own home and feeling on guard all the time. It reminds me too much of my marriage to an abuser. Must. End. Soon.

Details not revealed intentionally for privacy reasons, but I will reassure you all that it is merely some disappointed expectations and issues of passive-aggressive behaviors and I am in no danger except that of being exhausted and frustrated. I think it has started to evidence a little with the physical symptoms I was exhibiting with the Mom and Dad stress - the frozen and stiff shoulder muscles and the headaches. There is a time-line established for the moving out period, however, and I hope that with that in mind I will be able to avoid getting to the point where the stress exhibits itself physically very strongly.

Well, I think I am going to go search from something to watch and then be calm the rest of the night, even if it takes meds again. I need to make it through a week of work and after tomorrow night be ready to hit those dance classes full-on again!

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