Orchestra awards tonight.

Ms. G. did a good job and it didn't last until 11:00 this year. I received a Booster award which was a really nice acrylic paperweight/plaque thing with my name and stuff. I was really happy Jane used "Leeper" on my award! I also got a $25 gift card for Barnes and Noble. Oooh aahh! I didn't get parent of the year like I did with Emily, but I didn't deserve it. I tried to do what I could this past four years, but I didn't do things when I didn't feel well. I decided that is one area where I had to learn to say no when needed and pay more attention to my physical and mental health, so I was not as active as I was when Emily was in orchestra.

Michael won a special award that is designated "that Senior HYP member who has never given up and is honest and dependable - Vicky's most endearing qualities. 'Someone who is part of this family, and is like family.' " The award is the Vicky Paynter Memorial award. Ironically, it is named after Jane's ex girlfriend's mother and they are not together anymore. I am really proud that Jane is still honoring her dead (would be if gay marriage were legal) ex- "Mother in law" even though that relationship is over. I know that breakup was a horrible rent in Jane's life and she could be bitter, but she's not. Jane wrote Michael a special letter and said how proud she was that Michael stuck with orchestra. It could have been easy for him to give up because even though he is so good he ALWAYS had to sit second chair to Jake, who is really already a professional musician, even though he is still a student. Crass as it sounds I am especially grateful Michael won this award because it came with money and now he has enough to pay his housing deposit for the fall. We were both really worried about it, but I just didn't have enough to swing it with all the trips he has taken, new tires for the car, the dr. visit, etc.... Now he can go do it tomorrow!

Re: dr. visit. I finally went and got the blood test yesterday and I do NOT have the enzyme or whatever that indicates a blood clot. I felt like I didn't and that's why I didn't go get the test right away, but then I noticed a bump on my leg yesterday. I couldn't tell if it was just another bump from my fall that I hadn't noticed yet or maybe it really could be a blood clot, even though it wasn't red or hot or any of the other things that are supposed to indicate blood clot. Gillian convinced me to go get the test just to make sure. So now I feel like I wasted money, but I guess it's better than dying of a pulmonary embolism, right? Now as soon as my knee and my anke are healed I will be able to start wogging again toward my 5K. I feel like walking may come this weekend, as long as I start a little at a time. I am walking without too much pain right now. Stairs hurt going both up and down, and I am a little swollen at the end of the day, but the bruising is fading. I think if I broke anything, it is the third or fourth toe. The bases of those toes have the deepest bruising and that is where it hurts when I walk.

A couple of months ago I started putting Michael's academic awards and certificates in sheet protectors and put them in a 3 ring binder. I plan to make a display for his graduation Open House similar to what I did for Emily. I started looking for it last night and couldn't find it anywhere! I got a little anxious/OCD/panic attack and stayed up until about 3am looking for it. I finally popped Valium and went to bed. Until started typing this I have been looking for it again and still can't find it. I am sure I put is somewhere "safe." Sigh.... If Emily were here I bet she could find ot for me in about one minute. I think she knows me more than I know me sometimes and can read my mind when my own memories and thoughts are muddled!

Emilyyyy....... heeelllppppp mmmeee!!!!!!!

Back to looking and closet organizing, which I am hoping helps me find it.