Thursday, April 1, 2010

So long

I feel like it is so long in between posts now that I don't write every day. It still feels funny.

Michael and I went to a meeting for Science Olympiad National prep tonight. I think I get to be a chaperon again this year which means my gas and hotel will be paid for. I am glad because even though I have been granted the days off work I am really worried about affording ANYTHING right now. This child support cut in half thing is already making us make huge changes. I sat and blissfully paid utility bills yesterday without subtracting as I went. I subtracted today and ZING! Michael is in having a cello lesson with Ben and I realize I don't have enough money to pay Ben and have gas for the car for the week AND we will not be getting any fresh groceries. Ben was mellow about waiting, but yeah , will I really have enough for double next time? Sigh... Also Garet has a couple of shows he wants to see in the next few days and I had to call and say,"I want to go with you. I want to be with you, but if you want to attend these activities with this particular beautiful, intelligent and wonderful woman you are going to have to pay for everything this week." He always has anyway, but I felt like I had to come right out and say it. I do believe in sharing and not always expecting him to pay, but this week it ain't happening! It turns out I can help him by delivering a couple of his photos to an exhibit/competition while he is shooting an assignment so that kind of makes me feel better. I am not comfortable with always being the "taker" in a relationship... I am trying to learn that I don't always have to be the "giver" either, there needs to be a balance and for once, I would like it to be... um, healthy? is that what you call it?

I emailed the past not-boyfriend and told him about Garet and he sent me back the NICEST email about how happy he is for me and how we were great together in so many ways, but he is glad that I have someone that I deserve, blah, blah, blah... It was really nice and flattering. We did have some good times, but it does feel good to be with someone with a different kind of tone to it.

Jen - I sent your form back. Let me know when you're approved! Is there a racetrack up there? Garet LOVES to take pictures of race cars! Maybe I can hitch a ride, but you and I can run away from the race track and do quiet girl stuff!

Well, it's 12:01 and I am a pumpkin.

Editing to add - but don't start sending grocery money. Yes, we are broke, but we have plenty of food in the freezer and in cans in the garage and I can bake bread and have plenty of healthy things. It will just be a week without the stuff you have to buy every week - broccoli, bananas, tomatoes, and all THAT stuff, see?


Ann said...

Time to bag the cello lessons, Hope.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Michael can start working to pay for the cello lessons. I know how important they are. I had a job in high school no matter how busy I was. I know it makes you feel bad, but it's time to stop feeling bad about it!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sending it! :) The nearest track was stock cars, but is now another stinking strip mall and giant parking lot. When it comes to horsepower- maybe he can shoot the real thing. There's a horse racing track not too far from here in IL. ;)