Friday, February 26, 2010

Still here!

It's a little strange feeling since I haven't had the goal to write every day. I feel like I am slacking, even though I know the other things I am doing with my time are (mostly ) worthy. I guess I have been watching a lot of "Lost" on hulu, but I often do my "intentional movement" while I watch so it does double duty.

I am feeling better in many respects.

I met a very beautiful, kind and intelligent man at lunch the other day. In just our very brief conversation he inspired me to do more self care and to realize that I deserve it. That afternoon as soon as I had time I made an appt. with Dr. Karin. When she worked on me yesterday she really moved some things around and a lot of times places she can't get to move because I can't relax, just wonked right into place. My left leg and foot have been swelling badly again, like the old days, even though I have gone back to the old higher dose of the diuretic. She did some deep work on the places to open of the channels for the lymphatic fluid. It was visibly better when she was done. She said you can't tell how long it will last - could be an hour - could be a week. She gave me some exercises to do to help keep it flowing back up. I am not very good at following those kind of instructions. I need to learn to do that kind of self care too!

Tonight was supposed to be Michael's lesson with Shelley, the classical teacher, but she emailed and said she had to cancel so I contacted Ben and we did what we have been doing. He comes over here and I feed him and they have their lesson. It works out so nicely. I don't have to go anywhere. Ben and Michael get a good dinner. I have motivation to cook, which I have lacked lately, and it just feels really cozy and nice. It's kind of nice to have Beautiful Ben get to know our home and the people we are. Even though I think he's having some kind of mid-life crisis, he's so talented and intelligent he is a nice addition to our lives. He has taught Michael so much musically I am secretly hoping he gives up his mid-life crisis plan to move to Las Vegas and try to make a living playing poker (no kidding). My son has learned so much he sat at the table the other day with his composition and composed music out of his head onto the score paper. I know it's talent in addition, but Ben taught him how to get it out of his head and onto the paper. A little of me can't handle how talented Michael may really be. I'm not sure why it frightens me a little bit.

We have a big weekend ahead of us. Saturday Michael has a workshop about particle physics that culminates this summer with a trip to Fermilab. He has to leave early, however to go to Indianapolis for the State Solo Ensemble competition. Sunday he has a concert with the Bloomington Symphony, where his orchestra plays a couple of songs along with the BSO. Somewhere in there I have to bake cookies for the reception for the concert. I planned some elaborate musical note shaped cookies with a prominently displayed Hope's Homemades card or two, but I think I may have to settle for brownies because of time constraints. Maybe I should make Amber's two-bite brownies and pipe a couple of music notes on each one...except they sure are cute with the swirls of frosting! I bought these teeny peanut butter cups at Trader Joe's last week and I want to make brownies with them inside and then put peanut butter frosting on top, maybe I'll do that. Who knows?

Of course it's too late as usual. I was so content after the nice dinner and listening to the cello lesson and I lay down while Michael ironed his tux shirt and we chatted until I fell asleep, so now I am up too late again. That's my life.


Deb said...

And a good life at that: lovely children, family and friends.

Not small things. xo

Hope said...

Yes, I agree. Even though I am still having some moments here and there it is hard to believe that two weeks ago I was in such a severe depression I was feeling like I might need hospitalized. I think setting some boundaries in a couple of relationships has helped and probably the ever lengthening amount of sunlight during the days.

Amber said...

I am feeling a direct correlation in the amount of sunlight and my mood.

Also- something I've done is the two bit brownies with chocolate musical notes on top. I piped them in chocolate on waxed paper and froze them- then stuck them on. Adorable and quick.

Although do you have a note shaped cookie cutter? If you do an 'easy' way to 'frost' cookies is with fondant- I don't know if you've tried the fondant or not- but if you cut your cookies out and bake and while they're baking cut fondant with the same cutter then when you take the cookies out of the oven you put the fondant cutout on top and it 'melts' to the cookie and will be just slightly smaller. Looks like fancy frosting but it's super easy.

Of course PB brownies sound good too. I saw a recipe for cookie dough cupcakes that I'm dieing to try- but I need a good reason first.

Um... I got so distracted by food talk I don't know what else I was going to say.

Oh yeah- I think we need a video of some ben/michael playing together. I loves me some Cello.