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Friday, December 14, 2018

Things I need to do, updated:

from post of October 10:


but seem overwhelming:

Get the computer out of the trunk of the car

Take all the pictures, cookies, and crap OFF the computer

Sell/Donate the computer

Sort out more family photos/pare down to MY OWN, and maybe one other container

Pare down more craft supplies - one container?

Clean out the bedroom closet (doing the above will help)

Get rid of the non-working dryer

Sewing machine: Repair Singer? Test the White? get down to ONE WORKING MACHINE

Get rid of the non-working dryer has been completed!

I think the next task to tackle will be to take the Singer to the shop and see how much it will be to repair.


Friday, November 9, 2018

Life is A Highway (Toastmasters Speech given 11-8-2018)




This is where I ended up, and gave it as my first speech at Toastmasters - The "Icebreaker." I was the only speaker scheduled, so I asked for 8-10 minutes, but I even went over that, over 12 min the end. It was well received and I did a pretty good job presenting. I lost my place in the notes once and repeated a sentence, but the "Ah Counter/Grammarian" only noted that and two "filler" words. 

Rachael helped me edit and I followed a lot of her recommendations. I had considered leaving out the details about the car accident  and just jumping from "ten minutes later we are rolling and flipping down an embankment of an overpass," to "nobody dies," but Rachael said the accident details were really interesting. She also said now she understands why I have ptsd!

I did a small introduction saying that I thought of many ways to tell about myself, like the houses I lived in or the schools I attended, but settled on "Cars I have known..."

LIFE IS A HIGHWAY

I am three years old, crouching on the floor of the back seat of the red 1969 Chevy Impala, surrounded by red vinyl seats and holding on to Velvet Ear. She is as nervous as I am. We are moving from West Lafayette and the only home I remember to a new home in Richmond. Daddy is a restaurant manager at Frisch's.
In Richmond we have a better house. It has a long slanting driveway. I push my Radio Flyer down the driveway and it goes too fast... I fall and scrape my knees. I walk up the driveway, past Mom's new cream-colored station wagon and she cleans my wounds and sprays them with Bactine, and covers them with Band-Aids. When Mom runs errands we wait in the station wagon. My older brother Chris and I like to pretend to drive while we wait, but he hardly lets me have a turn. My favorite errand is the bank because Mom always brings suckers when she comes back.

We get a brown Mercury car. It has cool American Flag stickers on the back windows. When we drive to visit Uncle Dick at the Air Force Base I feel like we belong there because we have flag stickers! I love visiting Uncle Dick because my cousin Patty is the girl cousin closest to me in age. She is about five years older than I am and she tells me all. the. things. that nobody else tells me about being a girl, liking boys, and kissing.

I am six, my oldest brother Bobby leaves to go to Alaska and Canada on his mission. I miss him the most, but I know that he really wants to go spread the Gospel. We move to a new house while he is gone and I am scared that he won't be able to find us when he comes back! Finally I tell Dad my fears and he reassures me that we will go pick Bobby up at the airport when he comes home. We drive in the new blue Mercury from Richmond to the Dayton, Ohio airport to pick him up. It is night and as soon as I see Bobby coming in the door I run and jump into his arms. We are driving on Highway 70, back to Richmond to show Bobby the new house. Suddenly there are bright lights and sirens! Daddy pulls over and a state policeman comes to the window with his hand on his gun! I am sitting on Bobby's lap in the back seat. The policeman looks in the window and sees me and Chris and Bobby all piled in the back seat. He asks Dad his name and asks who we are. Dad explains that we just picked Bobby up as he returned from his Mormon mission. The police man laughs and said there was just an armed robbery and the getaway car is just like ours!

Dad gets fired from Frisch's. He has a fight with his boss, who daddy calls "the son of a bitch!" Mom is crying in the kitchen while she stands next to the ironing board. I cry too. Dad gets a job in a new restaurant, but it is in Terre Haute.  We load up the blue Mercury and move to Terre Haute. We move with only what will fit in the car into a trailer that already has beds, a couch, and a dining room table with chairs upholstered in avocado green vinyl.

After just a few months in Terre Haute I come home from school and Grandpa Pechin is there with his brown van. I am told to put my stuff in bags to take it out to the van. Chris and I ride with Grandpa in the van and he doesn't say much, just seems really mad, and tells me that Dad doesn't work at Big Wheel anymore. I take my bags inside into the little house on Sequoya Street in Lafayette and Grandma has a nice dinner ready. Mom comes a couple of days later with a little bright yellow, two-doore Chevette. Chris and I load our bags into the little yellow Chevette and Mom drives us to Country Charm apartments.

Baby Heather arrives and along with her comes a new Chevette - brown this time and with four doors instead of just two. This makes it easier for Mom and Dad to use the car seat for the baby.

The little brown Chevette is traded for a red Chevy Malibu - Heather's car seat fits better AND we don't have to share with Chris anymore since he graduated from high school and joined the army. When I am sixteen Mom drives me to downtown Lafayette and I get a learner's permit. Mom lets me drive the car home and I feel like I can drive the minute I get behind the wheel.

One day I let my younger friend take the red Malibu for a spin. I figure it must be the world's easiest car to drive because I could do it right away. Angie swerves off the road and the left front tire climbs the guide wire to a utility pole and gently tips the car over on its right side. We crawl out of the car and have to go to a farmhouse and ask for them to call a wrecker to come get the car. Mom and Dad aren't very happy. I don't get to keep the car during the day very often after that. My wheels become my red ten speed bike. I want to swim on the high school swim team. Practice starts in the summer so I ride my red ten speed to school, run, lift and swim, then ride back home. I develop lean, muscular legs and enjoy swimming, practice, and competition.

Most of high school I am transported in others' cars. Kim’s older Chevy Nova, Susan’s giant Buick Electra Glide, and Lu’s little orange Chevette that we call "the pumpkin car."

Right before high school graduation time I am in a play - Funny Girl. The night after dress rehearsal my friend Lisa and I get a ride home from Matt, her boyfriend. John and Randy also need a ride, and things are confusing when we are getting in. The car is really small, a Dodge Omni. My hands are full and I can't fasten my seat belt.... About ten minutes later we are flipping and rolling down the embankment of an overpass.  We land next to highway 65 with the car upside down. After we land I look back behind me and see Lisa lying still with her eyes closed.  I think to myself that if she is dead there is nothing I can do. I climb out of the car, even though I don't really know how I am getting out.  I scream at Matt to turn off the engine. I keep seeing movie clips in my head showing a car going over a cliff and exploding, and I think if Matt turns it off that won't happen.  When I wipe the blood out of my eyes, I realize that we are next to the highway. I run out by the road waving my arms... I slip in a little drainage ditch that runs along the highway and my ankle hurts, but I wave down a semi and he calls in an emergency on his CB radio. I walk back over by the car and Matt is screaming, “I can’t find Randy.”  I wipe my eyes again and see Randy up near the top of the hill, bloody, and lying still on the ground. I climb up and sit by him until the police arrive. There are ambulances down on the highway. One leaves and then another, then Matt and an ambulance guy help me to the third, as now I realize I've injured my ankle. Nobody dies. Up to that point in my life never been so happy to hear anybody cry as I was when I first hear Lisa's voice. We are all able to attend graduation a couple weeks later. Lisa is in a wheelchair and Randy is on crutches, but Jon is able to give his valedictorian speech despite having just spent time in Intensive care.

After graduation I stay home and take care of Heather and another little girl. I keep the Malibu and drive the kindergarten carpool while mom and Dad carpool to their factory jobs in the little blue 1968 Austin America that Dad buys super cheap. Every day I watch the two little girls, then go out and apply for jobs while they are in school. At night I drive over to the Purdue campus where Susan, Lu, and Kim are going to college. Lu and I walk all over campus every night. If she needs to study I read or write in my journal.

Dad paints the little Austin bright silver using cans of spray paint. I start classes at Purdue and drive the little tin can car to campus and on some college adventures. I still live with Mom and Dad and Heather until a night when that just doesn’t work anymore. I stay up all night and pack my clothes, records, and books into milk crates stolen from Dairy Queen. In the morning a friend comes and picks me Drives me over to Purdue student apartments. Soon I am settled in my own apartment with new roommates Kim and Diane. My wheels are the city bus, which I take from campus to my job at Kmart.
The next summer I keep living with Kim. Her parents buy a red K Car for her, a nice Reliant automobile, and we drive to Indianapolis with a car full of folks and go to White Castle and walk around Monument Circle at night laughing with all our friends. In the red car Kim and I follow the ambulance to St. Elizabeth hospital to wait for our other roommate’s parents after her suicide attempt. Feeling overwhelmed that summer in West Lafayette, I borrow my parent’s new 1985 Blue Chevy Cavalier and drive to Bloomington. I find the Indiana University admissions office and fill out an application. I drive to the Kmart out by the mall and secure a job. I find a Herald-Telephone and find a room in a boarding house for the fall semester.
I return the Cavalier, tell Dad that I am moving to Bloomington, and a few days later he buys a little red Audi Fox for me. In a couple of weeks I pack up my milk crates again and drive to Bloomington.  I take a job as a live-in nanny and run the kids to Bloomington Montessori School in my little Fox. I attend classes in afternoons and work at Kmart in the evenings and weekends. I am busy, but happy. Then, the Audi meets its end at the corner of 10th Street and Park as I take a friend home one Saturday night.

Dad steps in again and replaces the Audi with a $500 1977 Toyota Tercel. I steer the silver Toyota right into marriage. The husband is abusive… to the little silver car, and never checks the oil despite my warnings. The little engine is too thirsty to continue to run, so together we purchase a 1983 Ford Tempo, beige, boring, and totally reliable. It lasts longer than the marriage. Deanna comes one morning in her Oldmosbile Ciera and takes me, my two children, and a couple of laundry baskets of clothes to Middle Way House. The three of us are on our own and carless. Friends help transport Emily to kindergarten in a fleet of caring cars and the children and I continue life on our own. Another caring car comes in the form of a little red Honda I borrow until I inherit Grandpa’s 1978 blue Mercury Monarch. The big old takes the children to daycare and school and it’s not that big of a bother really, to get out at a stoplight now and then and stick a screwdriver in the flutter valve of the choke to keep it from dying!

My first job since the divorce is in a bank and my boss helps me secure a loan for a little white 1988 Nissan Sentra. I drive it a hundred thousand miles or so, moving to a house, often taking the children to visit their father, going to Lafayette to visit grandparents, and making my little sixty-nine dollar car payments until it is mine, all mine! The end of 1998 begins my career in newspaper advertising and the Sentra morphs into my only car bought new, in the form of a 1999 Ford Escort. The Escort does its time, logging over two hundred thousand miles taking Emily to college at Purdue, toting Brittany and her cello to lesson after lesson, serving faithfully until the invention of cell phones and texting lands a Jeep with a distracted driver into its rear end in 2013.

After the faithful service of that cheap Ford I look for another and now life is a party on the highway. I’m on my own and the space of my little Ford Fiesta is perfect. The good mileage gets me affordably to Illinois to visit Emily and her family which includes two grandchildren. Brittany travels light, so there is enough space for her things when I pick her up at the airport on her trips home first from Boston and now Richmond, Virginia. The little Fiesta takes me on my new adventures, including selling the house in 2017 and moving to a tiny apartment. Sometimes I leave it home and walk to work and it sits ready and waiting for the next adventure.

This is where I began with this document. It had way too many details for what was supposed to be a 4-6 minute speech.

I am three years old, crouched on the floor of the back seat of the red 1969 Chevy Impala, surrounded by red vinyl seats and holding on to Velvet Ear. She is as nervous as I am. We are moving from West Lafayette to a new home in Richmond. Daddy is a restaurant manager at Frisch's. I love going to visit him and eating crinkle-cut french fries dipped in Heinz catsup. I love being at the "store." My favorite thing is sitting in the car and carhops come and bring me my fries. I also like being inside in the back and watching when the hostess Edna combines two bottles of catsup by standing one on top of the other so the top one drips down into the bottom.

In Richmond I realize that Dad is still working at Frisch's and we have a better house. It has a long slanting driveway. I push my Radio Flyer down the driveway and it goes too fast... I fall and scrape my knees so badly. I have to walk up the driveway, past Mom's new cream-colored station wagon to have my wounds cleaned, sprayed with Bactine, and covered2 with Band-Aids. When Mom runs errands we get to wait in the car. My older brother Chris and I both like to pretend to drive while we wait, but he always does it the most and hardly lets me have a turn. My favorite errand is the bank because Mom always brings suckers when she comes back.

Later we get a brown Mercury car. It had cool American Flag stickers on the back windows. When we drive to visit Uncle Dick at the Air Force Base I feel like we belong there because we have flag stickers! I love visiting Uncle Dick because my cousin Patty is the girl cousin closest to me in age. She is about five years older than I am and she tells me all. the. things. that nobody else tells me about being a girl, liking boys, and kissing.

My oldest brother Bobby is a lot older than I am. He is a teenager and he taught me to read by reading to me every night out of the Book of Mormon and also the Young Folks Library. My favorite is when he reads from the The Book of Adventure about Sinbad the Sailor, who had to defend his ship and crew from a roc, a giant predator bird. I also go to Bobby's singing lessons with him and color while I hear his clear tenor in the teacher's studio. When I am six, he leaves to go to Alaska and Canada on his mission. I miss him the most, but I know that he really wants to go spread the Gospel. We move to a new house while he is gone and I am so scared that he won't be able to find us when he comes back! Finally I tell Dad my fears and he reassures me that we will go pick Bobby up at the airport when he comes home. We drive in the new blue Mercury from Richmond to the Dayton, Ohio airport to pick him up. It is night and as soon as I see Bobby coming in the door I run and jump in his arms. We are driving on Highway 70, back to Richmond to show Bobby the new house. Suddenly there are bright lights and sirens! Daddy pulls over and a state policeman comes to the window with his hand on his gun! I am sitting on Bobby's lap in the back seat. The policeman looks in the window and sees me and Chris and Bobby all piled in the back seat. He asks Dad his name and asks who we are. Dad explains that we just picked Bobby up as he returned from his Mormon mission. The police man laughs and said there was just an armed robbery and the getaway car is just like ours!

Dad got fired from Frisch's. He had a fight with his boss, who daddy calls "the son of a bitch!" Mom is crying in the kitchen while she stands next to the ironing board. I cry too, just because. Dad gets a job in a new restaurant, but it is in Terre Haute. I've never heard of that place, but Dad says it is on the Wabash River, just like Lafayette and that we will get to go fishing all the time without having to drive so far to go visit Grandma and Grandpa first. For a long time Mom, Chris, Bobby and I stay in Richmond while Dad goes to Terre Haute to work. I know he stays in a Days Inn that is close to the Big Wheel Restaurant that he manages. We go visit and Chris and I sleep on the floor of the Days Inn. We visit the Big Wheel, but I don't like the food as much as Frisch's and Edna doesn't work there too and there is no drive-in service with carhops. When we visit Dad still has to work and we don't go fishing at all. Eventually we load up the blue Mercury as much as we can and move to Terre Haute. We don't take our furniture. We move with only what will fit in the car and we move into a trailer that already has beds and a couch and a dining room table with chairs that are upholstered in avocado green vinyl. The trailer isn't even really in Terre Haute. It is across the river in a little twin town called West Terre Haute. Mom says it is cheaper to live there and she wants to be with Dad so we are moving even though they haven't been able to sell the house in Richmond. So we Mom, Chris, and I move and Bobby and his new wife Karen move into the house. At least somebody lives next door to Tincey and Lindy. They are the best friends that I've ever had and I miss them terribly.

It turns out that I love West Terre Haute! Dad works all the time. It seems like he is never home. Even though we are right next to the Wabash we never go fishing. I go down by the river anyway and have a bunch of friends and we do all kinds of fun things, like riding our bikes with no hands down the river bank and then stopping right before we would have plunged into the water if we hadn't stopped. I start a school newspaper at West Vigo elementary school. My friend Julie loves cheerleading, so I act like I do too and we have fun cheering for the boys while they play touch football. I go to church with Julie and her sister Toni on Sunday at the little white church on the corner and the preacher shakes our hands and gives us dimes after the service. We go to the corner store and buy penny candy with our dimes every week. There is a motorcyle shop and they let us borrow little scooters and ride around town on them. My birthday passes and I have the first birthday party that I've ever had. I tell mom that I AM bringing people home after school for my birthday and to my surprise she has cleaned the usually messy house and made a birthday cake. I discover a radio in my little furnished room and start listening to music as I hide from the chaos of the rest of the house. One of These Nights by the Eagles is my favorite song.

One day I come home from school and there is a U-Haul truck in front of the trailer. Grandpa Pechin is there and I am told to put my stuff in bags to take it out to the truck. There are boxes for some of the clothes and kitchen stuff, but the furniture has to stay in that trailer. Chris and I ride with Grandpa in the truck and he doesn't say much, just seems really mad, and tells me that Dad doesn't work at Big Wheel anymore. Grandpa drives to the little house that he and Grandma have on Sequoya Street. I take my own stuff inside and Grandma has a nice dinner ready for me and Chris. Mom comes in a couple of days with a new car. It is bright yellow and about the same size as Grandpa Pechin's red VW Beetle. Mom says it is a Chevette. Chris and I load our bags of stuff into the little yellow Chevette and Mom drives us to Country Charm apartments. We have an upstairs apartment with a little balcony. I start at a new school. Durgan seems strange and is really old-fashioned. The library is a little house, separate from the rest of the school. It becomes my haven and I read all that I can. I discover the Bobbsey Twins and read late into the night, locked in my room. Dad has a job at a factory and leaves early in the morning before I wake up. Mom eventually gets a factory job too, and Chris and I get up and get ready for school on our own. If we are too late and miss the bus we just stay home because there is nobody to drive us. I finish fifth grade, sixth grade, and start Junior High School in the same building that was the high school Mom and Dad went to, and Bobby too, when they still loved in Lafayette!

There is a big snowstorm, really big! There is no school for several days. The buses can't get through the snow and there is so much snow that the plows don't have any place to put it if they clean the streets. Chris and I play outside all the time and eventually we walk over to the mall parking lot. There are mountains of snow and we climb to the top and slide down over and over again. We build a snow fort in the courtyard of the apartments and stay inside it as much as we can. Finally the roads are cleared and Dad shovels out the little yellow Chevette and starts going to work again.

Evenings after Mom and Dad are home from work we start driving the little Chevette around and looking for House For Sale signs. One night instead of just driving around Dad steers the little yellow car into a Mobile Home sales lot. Mom and Dad talk to a salesman and Chris and I go in and out of different trailers looking at all the different features, pretending that we live in them or playing hide and seek. Mom and Dad catch up with us in one that has orange carpet and mirrors on the living room walls. Dad says we will get one like this and asks us which bedroom we want. We will each get our own room with a little half bathroom in between them. That spring we learn that we are going to have a new sibling who will come in the fall.... I am afraid I will have to share my room if it is a girl, but Mom says I won't have to.

Our mobile home is finally finished being built and is pulled to a trailer park and installed on the other side of the river. Now we live in West Lafayette, just like we lived in West Terre Haute, on the west side of the Wabash! I have to switch to a new school. Klondike Junior High is just down the road. We still ride the bus to school, but if we miss the bus the school is close enough to walk to, even though I am late. I make a friend in the trailer park - excuse me, Woodland Terrace Mobile Home Estates. There is a swimming pool and a clubhouse with a couple of pinball machines and a pop machine.

Baby Heather arrives and along with her comes a new Chevette - brown this time and with four doors instead of just two. This makes it easier for Mom and Dad to use the car seat for the baby. After a couple of years Chris gets old enough to get a learner's permit and learns to drive in the brown Chevette. After Mom and Dad go to bed at night he takes the car and goes out driving with his friends...One night he hits a deer on the country road the the little brown Chevette has a wrecked front end. Oops. He is caught for his teenage joyrides and has to wait an extra long time to get his driver's license.

Eventually the little brown Chevette is traded for a red Chevy Malibu, It is bigger and much more comfortable. Heather's car seat fits better AND we don't have to share with Chris anymore. He graduated from high school and joined the army. When I am sixteen Mom drives me to downtown Lafayette and I get a learner's permit. When we get back to the new trailer park - excuse me, I mean Woods Edge Mobile Home Estates - Mom lets me drive the car back to our lot and I feel like I can drive the minute I get behind the wheel. Once I learn how touchy the gas pedal and the brakes are Mom and Dad let me drive most of the time when we all go somewhere together. I have just a permit for a long time and don't go take the test to get a license. Finally I have my one actual driving lesson. Dad takes me to downtown Lafayette and teaches me to parallel park. It just takes a couple of tries and I can do it well. When I finally go take the test for getting my license I almost don't pass because the license branch is on a one way street and requires parallel parking on the left side which I've never done. The examiner lets me try twice then says we've run out of time and I'll have to reschedule for another test. I convince her to let me try one more time and do it in two swift moves! "Well, okay," she says, "but it was rough!"

I have my own teenage adventure in the red Malibu. Though I seldom drive it one day I let my younger friend give it a whirl. I figure it must be the world's easiest car to drive because I could do it right away. Angie swerves off the road and the left front tire climbs the guide wire to a utility pole and gently tips the car over on its right side. We crawl out of the car and have to go to a farmhouse and ask for them to call a wrecker to come get the car. Mom and Dad aren't very happy. I don't get to keep the car during the day very often after that. My wheels become my red ten speed bike. I want to swim on the high school swim team. Practice starts in the summer so I ride my red ten speed to school, run, lift and swim, then ride back home. I develop lean, muscular legs and enjoy swimming, practice, and competition.

Most of high school I am transported in others' cars. My friend Kim gets an older car and is the frequent driver for our group of friends. We go to a lot of basketball games and have slumber parties at each others' houses. Susan gets a giant Buick Electra Glide. She drives only if Kim can't - Susan doesn't take navigation well, confuses directions and is inclined to stop at green lights. Intrestingly, Lu purchases a little orange Chevette that we call "the pumpkin car," but she doesn't get her driver's license until after graduation so until college she can only drive when her dad is with  her.

Right before high school graduation time I am in a play  - Funny Girl. The night after dress rehearsal my friend Lisa and I get a ride home from Matt, her boyfriend. Things are confusing when we are getting in. Jon and Randy are also there. The car is really small, a Dodge Omni. There is a tradition to wear play costumes to school on opening night so we h as very our usual school books and homework and assorted costumes, including a wedding dress. We end up with Lisa, Randy and Jon in the back with the back seat down flat, so we can spread the costumes and dress out on top of them. Even though Lisa would normally ride in front with Matt I am too shy to lie down in the back with the boys. When i sit down in the front passenger seat Matt hands me a big pile of all the school books. My hands are full and I can't fasten my seat belt.... About ten minutes later we are flipping and rolling down the embankment of a overpass.  We land next to highway 65 with the car upside down. After we land I look back behind me and see Lisa lying still with her eyes closed.  I think to myself that if she is dead there is nothing I can do. I climb out of the car, even though I don't really know how I am getting out.  I scream at Matt to turn off the engine. I keep seeing movie clips in my head that when I car goes over a cliff it explodes and I think if Matt turns it off that won't happen.  When zi wipe the blood out of my eyes i realize that we are next to the highway. I run out by the road waving my arms... I slip in a little drainage ditch that runs along the highway and my ankle hurts. but I wave down a semi and he calls in an emergency on his CB radio. I walk back over by the car and Matt is screaming, I cant find Randy.  I wipe my eye again and see Randy up near the top of the hill,bloody, and  lying still on the ground. I climb up and sit by him until the police arrive. There are ambulances down on the highway. One leaves and then another. then Matt and an ambulance guy help me to the third, as now I realize I've injured my ankle. Ending is nobody died. Up to that point in my life never been so happy to hear anybody cry as I was when I first heard Lisa's voice. We are all able to attend graduation a couple weeks later. Lisa is in a wheelchair and Randy is on crutches, but Jon is even  able to give his valedictorian speech despite haven't spent time in Intensive care not very long ago.

After graduation Mom and Dad have the mobile home towed to another trailer park - excuse me, I mean Highway 52 Mobile Home Estates. Heather is five and ready to start kindergarten.  I stay home and take care of her and another little girl. I keep the Malibu and drive the kindergarten carpool while mom and Dad carpool to their factory jobs in the little blue 1968 Austin America that Dad bought super cheap. Everyday I watch the two little girls and then at night I drive over to the Purdue campus where Susan, Lu, and Kim are going to college. Lu and I walk all over campus every night. If she needs to study I read or write in my journal. After a couple of months like this I start going out while the little girls are in school and I apply for jobs. at


Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Things I need to do,...

but seem overwhelming:

Get the computer out of the trunk of the car

Take all the pictures, cookies, and crap OFF the computer

Sell/Donate the computer

Sort out more family photos/pare down to MY OWN, and maybe one other container

Pare down more craft supplies - one container?

Clean out the bedroom closet (doing the above will help)

Get rid of the non-working dryer

Sewing machine: Repair Singer? Test the White? get down to ONE WORKING MACHINE


All of these are tasks that have been hanging over my head, either partially complete or just nagging. I need to address at least one task per week. Completion of any/all of these will make the next stage of life easier, whatever that includes.

Another thing I would like to do on a more regular basis is to make some of the recipes I have collected. I'd like to set a goal to do that ...maybe monthly seems doable.

I feel some self-defeating thoughts about why these things haven't been accomplished. I need to buck up and just realize that down time IS PRODUCTIVE, to a certain degree. I probably need to make sure that I am fulfilling an actual need for rest and not just distraction from upset or possible depression. It will be especially needful to watch as the dark sets in and WINTER IS COMING. LOL.


Thursday, October 4, 2018

Uberlist Update

Still working a lot on some of the ongoing things. I don't know when reading books started seeming hard instead of joy. I think I need the right books to find that again. 


HEALTH/FITNESS

13) Get a flu shot 
Done October 1
14) Get a pneumonia shot 
Ordered!
15) Take supplements regularly 
Doing really well on this, need some shopping currently. 


HOME IMPROVEMENT/ ORGANIZATION
17) Clean out the car extremely well at least once.
Done! Keeping it up well too. 
18) Get the oil changed in the car
Done, found that Grease Monkey in Bolingbrook is less expensive and good!
19) Organize craft supplies - get rid of excess.
Still working on this, have pared down a lot more. 


CRAFTS/ INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS/ ARTISTIC
20) Read at least twenty books and log in Goodreads.
Still losing too much reading time to online play! Redemption needed.
28) Visit at least one Frank Lloyd Wright building and tour
Haven't done yet. Need to do before they close for winter. Making friends with a guy in Wisconsin, already asked him how close he is to Taliesin, LOL!
29) Attend at least one play at BPP or IU Theatre or Cardinal
Attended Cardinal Sex with Strangers, Complete History of Comedy, and Fun Home (saw Fun Home twice, worked one of the shows)
31) Attend one IU Auditorium Show or opera
Well it was at the MAC, but I saw the spring ballet and the fall Ballet this year. 
32) Take a class or workshop in something
Went to a Bloomington Connections Conference. Attended Toastmasters last week, will probably continue to attend weekly to work on confidence and presentation skills. 
33) Write in B-Town Bites monthly
too expensive to eat out right now. (sad face)

SOCIAL/ RECREATION/ SERVICE
33) Write five letters or cards
Did a writing activity for Buffalo Sisters, count this as three!
36) Continue work at Interfaith Winter Shelter and Backpack Buddies
Ready to take fall shelter training in the next couple of weeks. 
38) Take a girl trip with somebody somewhere
Went on a cruise with Karmin!
39) Take a trip to Jungle Jim's
Went with Deanna!
40) Take a special trip for spring break or fall.
Calling the cruise my fall trip, Alaska! Will add photos soon. 
46) Try a new venue for karaoke!
Did karaoke on the cruise ship, counting it!
48) Host at least two parties or gatherings
Been having craft nights! May host Thanksgiving(?)

PARENTING
51) Babysit for Anna at least twice
I'm calling babysitting while Alex was born good for this!

FINANCIAL/ PROFESSIONAL
52) Complete my taxes by February 15th.
Done!
53) Keep checkbook balanced.
Done with a little bloop in September, ugh!
54) Present three new revenue producing or creative ideas at work.
Food Truck Friday hosting idea was mine, still working on others. 
55) Update resume
Done, took off bank job details, too long ago. 
56) Apply for three local jobs
Cook, Solution Tree so far. 
57) Look into Indy and Lafayette employment
In the system at Purdue and a temp agency in Lafayette, rejected a job for too low pay at W. Lafayette TV station. 


MISC/ PERSONAL
60) Attend UU or Unity at least four times - one should be a Sunday!
Attending UU pretty regularly, joined singles group. 
61) Join a paid dating service and find one good date!
Paid for three months at POF, had one nice date, even though we haven't gotten together again. Dated a guy from Tinder, and actually went out several times, but he proved to be a jerk in the end. 

Thursday, September 6, 2018

GOAL

When I return from my trip I will attend the evening Toastmasters club on Thursday, September 27. I need to see if that is right for me. I need to learn new skills, practice some old ones, and meet some new people.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Facebook Post

So many stories in the media about people killing their children, so many refugee children needing care until reunification. I wish I had enough wealth to quit my job and take care of children. Of course, I couldn't even do that for my own children. I still had to work. My own children turned out be fine people, though a little weird, being raised by a single mother. Once I get settled I will get certified to foster!

TRUTH. 

I've been thinking about it for a long time, then I decided to sell the house. I need to make the kind of stability required for this a goal and then FUCKING DO IT. 


Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Going Gray...

Gone Gray


I could have written this. I should have written this.

I need to go back and look at photos. I can't remember when I stopped dyeing and cut it all off. I think sometime when I lived with Kathy. It's been about a year and a half, I guess and my hair is back to shoulder length. I am starting to feel more comfortable with it. I am talking on the phone to a new guy I met online and I told him I have gray hair, instead of saying "brown." I did say it is kind of long, because even though I like short hair, long hair is always my default. I am too lazy to go get it cut all the time and have to worry about it, plus for food prep it is nice to have it long enough for a ponytail.


September 2016
March 2017


So sometime in between these two....... My "official" headshot was October 2016, when I was in the "Resilience" play...

So I guess, really after this.... 
I remember that I had already stopped dyeing it before this picture and the photographer touched up my roots in my part!

This all strikes me as a trivial distraction from the discouraging social ills of the day and it feels shameful to write about it, but I keep telling myself that life goes on and that everyday keeps happening every day, even with the threat of treasonous fascism hanging over our heads.  

Friday, July 13, 2018

Next Book title

according to Gillian...

"Everything Will Always Match"

subtitle:
Well really, it just has to "go."

I am great at coming up with titles. Now I just need a book or two, LOL!!!


Friday, June 29, 2018

Light Writing

For the Schurz Company-wide newsletter


Thursday, June 28, 2018

The Perils of Penelope...

This might as well be the Housecleaning of Hope.... even my dream in my last post was about housecleaning...

So I have maybe two months left in this apartment if I decide to move away from Bloomington. I have all the stuff out in the car ready to go to Opportunity House. It's about two weeks until Britt and Sierra are going to come visit for a couple of days, and I may let someone pay a few bucks to use the extra room for a week after that. Here are some photos of my sweet little apartment. I just realized that there aren't any of my bedroom. I took these for the person who may stay here in July, so my bedroom isn't part of the deal. I really do like this little place and if I stay in Bloomington I will stay here another year. I think it was built in the late 60s to early 70s so not just my furniture, but everything is authentic mid-century modern, LOL!














Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Bad Night

I went to bed pretty early for me last night. I think it was before 10. I read one chapter and then I was so exhausted....but. I slept off and on until about two o'clock and then I was WIDE AWAKE. I lay there and tried all of my little tricks until about 5:30 and my mind was absolutely racing, but not about anything in particular that I could name. I think my heart was even beating fast. It was like I'd had some stimulant, but I hadn't!

I finally went to sleep, but when I was asleep I had bad/weird nightmares about cleaning a house of my parents, which I have done many times before. Various people were around. Emily and Britt were children and were off playing games with Heather. My brother Chris was there. I think Mom was there sometimes. There were other people, but I don't really remember everybody, but I recall an appearance by my cousin'd daughter Amanda, who was a teenager in the dream - she is an adult with children now, maybe even grown children. It was filthy and there was trash everywhere, piles of dirty blankets, towels, clothes. Oh, and I just remembered it was super windy out, and part of it was also trying to get windows closed to stop the wind from blowing everything around. oh, and also it was at one time part of an apartment building, with noisy other tenants, and at one point a taxi driver taking me away and I was like, "no no. I have to go back and clean!" So it was a big ol' frustration dream with so much cleaning to be done and at one point near the end I remember screaming, "Help me! Help me! Why doesn't anybody help me?!" It was so awful. Cat in the fridge eating cheese, trying to find food to cook for the children. Trying to sort the dirty towels and blankets from Mom's clothes all over the floor. Just so much ugh.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Sad experience

I am living on a super tight budget right now, trying not to spend any money out of savings, worried about gas for the car in a week that will include two trips to Indianapolis.... It is under 80 degrees today, so a good day to make some spaghetti sauce so I can eat cheaply until the next pay day. I decided to walk up to Dollar General to get a couple of new freezer containers, because they migrate out of my home as I send leftovers home with people.

So after DG, where I put my three dollars on my debit card because I hardly ever carry cash.... A guy sitting at the picnic tables at Lucky's asked me, "Will you buy me food?" I said no and kept on walking. I felt terrible. If asked for money I always truthfully reply, "I don't carry cash." But saying no to a request for actual food was difficult for me. I wish now I would have said come back to DG and I will buy you bread and peanut butter, but I just kept going. I wish I didn't know better and could have invited him over and made some filling food for him. I wish I would have said, go to Wheeler Mission and they will give you something if you haven't eaten. I didn't say any of those things. I just said no.

Sunday, June 24, 2018

June Minimalist Challenge, # 13 That's all folks! (for now)

So.... when you see the photos you will know how much I have done. I have done some amazing things, purged many, many items. Opened several boxes, released things to the world, including storage totes! I still have a couple of areas in my living room  that have items to go out. I will probably take a last set of before and after photos in there tomorrow. I did NOT achieve my goal of having the room usable and also half of the closet empty. Alas, the closet is full. Knowing that my first guest is going to be Britt makes me feel less stress about that. She usually travels only with a backpack, and even though she is driving this time and will have her truck, well... she will have her truck! She won't need a place to unpack and unload.... There is the small matter of the FRIEND who will join her on the trip, but I am guessing that she also will have a simple lifestyle... So now some photos...

Too big clothes, GONE!

Sheet music and office supplies, GONE!

Ugh, piles of paperwork.

Ugh, black mold! This stuff has some pretty cool stuff inside. It is in a plastic bag, waiting to see if a cousin wants it, if not, it will be GONE!



This might be Day 20. Most of this is going out. I did save a couple of the dresses to see if Emily wants them for Anna. 

Day 21, many photos!

Day 22

Day 23. Thos are my old calendars. The earliest one I found was 1983-84. Letting these go was actually a little rough. Also these are notebooks with days of carefully dated and written daily task lists. I kind of flipped through most of them looking for recipes or possibly important things, but SO MUNDANE. I took these out to the dumpster right away so there was no going back. I've already moved these suckers at least twice.... and some of them are so old that I also moved them from apartment to apartment and into the house!

This was photos and office supplies. See the blue folder? It was divorce papers, custody fight crap, copies of letters from Ed and Sheri and shit that made my life MISERABLE. I texted Emily and asked, should I keep all this stuff so I can be accurate if I need to write about it someday or should I burn it and dance around the fire under a full moon.? She replied, "I vote for burning and dancing." SO, even though it's not a full moon, I danced my way to the dumpster and cleaned that SHIT from my life. I will never again have to go through the hell that he put me through. I'm not really much for ritual stuff, but honestly a symbolic cleansing of my house and my life might feel kind of good with that aspect in there....

This is the room now, looking in from the doorway. 

The room looking out from the desk chair. 

Closet is full, and there is an extra table... I am still not sure about the furniture arrangement. 

A little mirror is hung. There is still some stuff for the walls to come.


So.... there is still more to go, but I need a little emotional break. I know that the actual count of individual items probably far exceeds the desired monthly total. Heck, there is actually probably enough for day 25 out there in the living room right now. I am going to work on getting the items donated and also going through the paperwork piles that I have found. Clearing those will help me be prepared for the next stage. I will probably do some summary photos once I get the furniture arranged the way I want, get a bed frame, etc.