Saturday, April 14, 2012

2 months

So Ken and I officially "broke up" today. I don't need comforted because it was the right thing to do. He needs somebody who really needs him and I just don't. The kind of things he did that in his mind were spoiling me or helping me just pissed me off. He's so kind it's unbelievable... it amplified what a bitch I really can be. If I were to be in a successful relationship now I would really need a man who is willing and able to be a sort of disengaged companion, yet realizes when I really need or want him. Also I need to learn to be kinder and that at times I will need to be ready to fill a man's desire to be needed and cherished.... Sometimes being so independent doesn't pay off.

It's sadly ironic that I felt like Garet didn't love me as deeply as I deserved to be loved, yet I would describe Ken as loving me too much. Maybe I can just never be pleased and I need to be prepared to be single forever.

In other news, this terrible, nagging illness has paid off. I completed reading the third book of The Hunger Games trilogy. I intended to go to the movie today, but I guess I was too sick because I kept going back to bed and sleeping instead of getting dressed and going. I feel in some strange way that I should be commended for listening to my body for once.

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