Mamma Mia

Not a cinematic masterpiece, but entertaining.

Roma came home. I think he is in his room packing. I haven't been able to find somewhere else for him to go tonight so I may have to look at him one more time in the morning. After that I will ask the exchange coordinator to come and supervise him getting the rest of his stuff and take him away.

You know what the final straw was? We were all kind of doing lunches on our own and Heather cooked a hamburger for herself and some other stuff and he looked at it and said, "very unhealthy." I lost my mind. I screamed - "Well nothing we ever do will ever be good enough for you will it?" I threw (yes, really threw) my dishes in the sink and retreated to my room. By the time I could come out he was gone. I think part of what pisses me off the most is that we probably really eat better than 75% of the families in America. You won't find a piece of Wonder Bread in this house, no bologna, always about 10 kinds of fresh fruits and vegetables, a variety of REAL cheeses, whole grain cereals.... I am feeding freaking Hippie Boy. We grow our own tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers and eat them. I make my own sauces so they don't have sugar in them... and constantly since he has been here he has been rejecting my food as not being healthy. At the same time, every chance he gets he goes out and buys himself a Pepsi! Last night when we sent to the store I bought peaches especially for him and caved and bought a bottle of Pepsi. When I woke up this morning he had Pepsi for breakfast, yet he dares criticize Heather's lunch like that. What a rude son of a bitch. I just won't live with it anymore.

Heather and Michael both act like I am overreacting, but I am torn up inside. I feel like a miserable failure. I have had very few people in my lifetime with whom I haven't been able to get along - just a couple of roommate troubles and that is it. This is insane.

I was so angry all day I had to really fight the temptation to pour the rest of the Pepsi down the drain and go strip his bed and start washing the sheets. I figured if he stayed another night he could sleep in a damn sleeping bag. Thankfully, however, I was able to maintain some sense of maturity and resist those temptations. I did take his keyboard off the computer and put a sign on the computer that says DO NOT TOUCH. It is probably cruel to keep him from contacting his family today, but he can live without it for twenty four hours, I think. Besides, I am making the orchestra directory and have about twenty hours of volunteer clerical work in front of me. I don't want it messed up.

I am also pissed because I have a counseling session in the morning and I know I will waste all my time talking about this shit instead of some real issues I want to work on. Fuck Roma all over again. I know I am a bitch and I should say, "he is just a mixed up teenage kid who has had a hard life." But you know what? BOTH of my children have had totally fucked up lives, and they are still kind, respectful and sociable people.

Anyway. I DEFINITELY need to do a round of housework and take some major drugs. I promise not to pull a Heath Ledger and I promise not to drink Stephanie's vodka on top of the drugs. I know I will NEVER Sleep tonight if I don't start working toward it VERY soon and tomorrow will be a hard day, first to get Roma to school, then right to counseling, then have to contact the exchange coordinator, then to work, where I never did go in this weekend and get caught up.

Happy today for: Shit, I can even be happy today. "Mamma Mia" was on the five buck club and I got to go see a totally escapist movie - and by the way the choreography kicked ass. Almost all the songs were big production numbers and it gives a whole new twist to the "phrase Greek Chorus." So there.