Talk about backfiring...

So instead of giving me a raise, they are going to make me sell things again. Ten positions were "eliminated" and seven people completely gone, the others reorganized. Cory said they are paying me a salesperson's salary to do a clerk's job and he could no longer justify it. They have been telling me for TWO months that what was going to happen in the restructuring was that I would take over the Bedford Public Notices. I also figured to myself within the next year or so I would actually be doing all four papers. Suddenly today I was called to a meeting in Cory's office and told that there is a new "business plan." I screwed myself with my research that every other newspaper and press organization feels like Public notice business is not business you can actually "grow." So they took my year of work of totally reorganizing the system, making it more efficient, raised the rates according to my recommendations and then told me today I could either go back to being a salesperson or continue doing the legals at a "clerk's salary." Fuck them. I didn't make enough money as a salesperson either. I am stepping up the job hunt, that's for damn sure.

I managed to hold it together until I got home. As soon as I got home I was in bed and I was just resting until Stephanie called and then I bawled for half an hour. She said it was my turn to cry because I have listened to her cry plenty over the past few weeks! I hadn't planned to tell Michael, but he came in while I was still crying so I told him. The changes will probably happen in October. They'll probably give me enough time to make sure they can suck every last bit of knowledge and organizational skills out of me. Fuck them again.

Things are going better with Roma. I haven't written about it (I think), but we have been having conflict with homework and school issues. It is really hard for me to be a firm parent.. I am used to hippie boy. Even though I get frustrated with Michael, he doesn't really do anything BAD. I have been emailing and talking with the Exchange Coordinator and Physics teacher about what to do. Roma and I haven't actually shouted at each other, but had some rather heated discussions about homework and grades and whether or not it is worth him even staying in the country. No fun. I kind of want to talk to Jim about it before Roma goes over there this weekend and see if he can also reinforce a little about how learning American culture is part of the program and it will benefit him, even if he feels his classes are too easy right now. I was a little bit the hard-ass mom tonight... I didn't exactly say he could not go to bike project if he didn't do his homework first. I asked if he had homework and then said he'd better get working on it if he wanted to go to Bike Project and it seemed like he spent a good hour in his room working on schoolwork and did not go to Bike Project. Check one for being an assertive mother. I think I will probably learn more in this ten months than anybody else!

Emily's Netflix were mailed here even though she turned in her change of address, so I have been watching "Definitely Maybe" off and on while working in little bits on the house. The lawn is still not mowed and that is another issue, but it will happen eventually. I think I needed an emotional night off as well as a physical night off. I am worried because tomorrow Michael has cello lesson AND there is a huge orchestra meeting for the France trip, at which I have to speak. I don't want to walk during the lesson as I sometimes do and then go all nasty to speak to the parents of 130 orchestra students. Argh. I would like to get back into "intentional movement" at least four times a week, though and if I skip tomorrow, then have to drive Michael to Indy on Friday, then it's Saturday before I get to walk or anything again. Maybe I can be sure to do a couple of fifteen minute smoke breaks tomorrow at work. Something tells me I am not going to be as compulsive about working my ass off from now until October...

Happy today for: well, for Stephanie listening to me cry. Also Katie called and she actually lost her job completely. She is coming to Bloomington to work next week and asked could she stay with me. I am glad that I have friends in whom I can confide and cry and who trust me and are willing to ask my help when needed.