I am not depressed.

I have more symptoms of an ANXIETY DISORDER. Gee. Me? Whoda thunk? Just because I have to take tranquilizers to go to Wal-mart because I get so creeped out by touching the stuff that other people have touched? Because I told her the reason I used my own pen to fill out the insurance forms was because I didn't want to touch hers? Sheesh! Some people just jump to conclusions, don't they? The problem with sleeping because the mind is racing? Anxiety. So anyway... She says to cut out caffeine completely. I have been pretty good since the beginning of the year, that I don't have it at home, but I do still have it when I go out and occasionally at work. I also take the Excedrin... She said to do it extremely gradually to avoid the headaches. She also said I already have good drugs and that I don't use them too often. I was worried because I need to drug to sleep three or four nights a week and I sometimes take the light one during the day if I know I am really stressed. I have always worried that is too often. She is more like - no it's people who take them EVERY night and three and four times a DAY who become addicted.

I am going to see her again in about a week and a half. In the meantime I will work on caffeine reduction and I think I am going to think about the things that are stressing me out. A lot of them are things that will end eventually or that I already have a plan for: Mom and Dad will be moved, Roman will get here whether I am ready or not, I will have my surgery and it will be over and my health should be better, the class reunion will be over...

Oh and remember how I told Cory about the money? He got his ass in gear and it was approved by the publisher today. There will be a separate rate for Sheriff's Sales and all the other rates will increase across the board. It took FOUR business days once I kicked him the head with it! They go up August 1. YAY ME. This better be good for a long-term raise or at least a bonus, and employee of the month!

Happy today for: free counseling services from my company!