Hurt Feelings

A couple of weeks ago a couple of my co-workers in Peaceful Valley, another worker and I were talking about a book group. I think I did come into the conversation late, but I felt totally included and like it was something I was totally involved in, invited to and going to be a part of. We talked about what kind of books, possible other people to invite, how often to meet, and other factors. Then yesterday, the other co-worker, who does not work in Peaceful Valley (but is actually my direct supervisor) came over and to Nikki and Gillian said – “So, what time are we going to go have our book lunch?” I think she may have even started out by saying “You two” So obviously, it was something in which I was not included.

I don’t know if originally I was not intended to be included at all and just sort of “horned in,” or if something I had said made them not want to include me. I think the only thing I said that they totally didn’t agree with is that I would not want to read what I called “sappy books” like “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” or “Tuesdays With Morrie.” I don’t like sappy sort of pseudo-religious books like that and don’t want to be “uplifted” by literature. I prefer to be more intellectually challenged, I guess.
I was really having a hard day yesterday anyway, having had to fight to get out of bed to come to work in the first place, and then to be so obviously not included was really hurtful. I think that is why I got all teary when Sue bought my lunch for me. The alternative could have been a nice lunch with co-workers deciding what book to read for a new book club to which I have now been dis-invited. I would rather have been told directly. Oh- Hopie, we didn’t mean you in the first place – or Susan didn’t think it was appropriate because she really is your supervisor but not for me and Nikki or we really want to read those uplifting books and feel like you disagree too much or we’re afraid you will be too dominating or WHATEVER than just tra-la-la – we’re going off to lunch now without you - too bad.