Fight, flight, or freeze

We have been self-isolating pretty seriously. We stay at home, work at home, eat at home, shop and socialize at home through electronic media.... We left the house today to run a couple of errands. The goals were to take the glass recycling to the bin, drop a bag off for the food pantry, go to storage for a put in/take out exchange, and get gas for the boat. We took hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes, and masks with us. It was all pretty good until we got to the gas part. The gas station in Galena only had gas with ethanol in it, which Craig says is not good for the boat. He started to drive over to Iowa to Kwik Trip. After we started driving over there I was in high anxiety mode. I felt like my heart was racing and I was hyper alert. I just sat in my seat, still, and watched the scenery. I sent Emily a message that I was having a panic attack and I sipped at my Coke Zero for which I had braved entering the gas station.

I've been a little stir crazy at home and really grieved last week to miss Easter weekend that had been planned with both the offspring visiting. I had a bad caller at the end of the workday Friday and crying over that turned into a long crying session over the loss of the weekend. I love Craig, and I love our home, but it isn't easy. I wish it had been easier and more fun to get out, even to run errands. Once it is warmer out and we can walk more often and spend time on the boat maybe it will be better. I can't imagine what it must be like for folks with children at home, in bad personal situations, or who are out of work or otherwise don't have the resources to make it easy.