Writing workshop

I went to a spring writing circle at Women Writing for Change last night. In our first 10 minute write I followed the prompt "What did winter do to you?"

Winter fell so dark, so early this year. I struggled in a new physical space to feel grounded, located; home. I struggled to find comfort in my former escapes. Reading felt difficult and even easy books failed to capture my attention. Cooking seemed awkward. Ingredients purchased with the intention of filling, warming soups rotted to waste. Holidays felt cluttered and flat instead of sparkling and celebratory. What was once peaceful solitude froze into loneliness. 

Darkness and cold, long my enemies, became conquerors and my bed the only warm and soft place to land. 

Ha! depressed much? 

It was actually a great experience last night. Before I wrote that I wrote at the top of my page:

Be a good listener tonight! I really wanted to not be too wrapped up in self, but to pay attention to the other women. In our small circle where I read that writing out loud I really worked hard to pay attention to what the other women wrote and read and it felt almost like revelation to immediately hear the power in what they read and to notice some of the devices that they both, almost unconsciously it seemed, used on their writing. 

We had a second write and I tried to get out of winter and think more about spring. It is a more stream of consciousness writing, and piecey. 

Spring signals

Forsythia

Open car windows, loud radio

Open window sleeping

Sandals, no socks!

I need to learn to love myself no matter where I am physically as in location, physically in my appearance, physically as in my health. I am a better person and actually love myself more the more I step outside; step outside my bed, step outside my thoughts, step outside of buildings into nature! Get outside, look outside, be outside. All those spring signals are moot if I am not looking OUT to enjoy them. I can talk myself out of it far too easily. By LISTENING I am trying to direct my attention out, but it is okay to direct positive feelings IN as well. Sadness vs. anger - it's easier to direct out... 

Daffodil in the snow this week. Oh, Indiana.