One more trip....

The visit at the nursing home was not so pleasant nor as unpleasant today either, just boring. Dad started out in PT, but it made him tired and headachey. After that we just kind of sat around and did nothing and didn't even talk. I even lay down on a couch and slept for a little bit.

Then we took off (It was Michael, Heather and me) and went to the house. Heather and I worked on the kitchen. I cleaned out one corner of cupboards and threw out all the old expired food. Some of it was from 2002... Heather worked on cleaning off the table and got that all finished and then worked on the floors. I washed the dishes - there weren't really too many- and knocked down some cobwebs ( I need to do that here!) and washed some cabinet fronts. Everything looked a lot better when we were done.

Brother Chris came and looked at my car and said it probably needs not just a new muffler, but the whole exhaust system..... so I have a $225 speeding ticket, a new muffler, a house that needs repairs and I don't have any clothes that fit. I also have to pay $100 out of pocket to my dr. every month and blah, blah, blah... and somehow I think I am going to start a new business? WTF? Something is wrong with me.

I decided I need counseling for "stress management" I called our insurance company and we get four sessions free each year so I figure if I start now I can use this year's four sessions and next years four sessions maybe every other week and have counseling for four months and maybe it will help me make it through all this and the holidays without losing my mind and hurting anybody.

I am back to Dr. Karin in the morning. I also took a chair cushion from Mom's house and used it on the way home and I think the driving hurt my hips less.

I'm not in danger physically/psychologically in THAT way, I am just afraid that the stress and pain will make it so I will get very ill again like when I go that pneumonia and then the flu a couple weeks later. I am back on a commission/"spiff" structure right now so if I miss work time I get paid time off, but lose on those bonuses, so I can't afford it. Sucky.

Okay, off to go a little more and then bet ready for bed.