Interesting...

I called and made a counseling appt for Michael today. I figured I would just send him on his bike as usual, and then realized that I might have to go to sign consent papers or something for his first appointment. The counselor said if he had a substance abuse problem he could go alone, but because he is depressed I need to go sign papers. So if your kid is shooting heroin you can send him or her to a counselor unsupervised, but if they feel miserable, tired and ill all the time because he or she is depressed you have to go sign a paper. Maybe they are more afraid of them dying if they are depressed than if they smoke a lot of pot and take pills. Who knows? Anyway it feels like a positive and proactive step to have the appointment set. I am really, really scared. Ed started out depressed and it was when they put him on anti-depressants that it made him have his first severe mania and end up hospitalized. My own family has a tendency only toward depression, so I am hoping the Pechin genes are strong here! So much to worry about. Of course it makes me want to spoil Michael silly to try to make him happy, even though I know that is not really a solution. If the BAD, YUCKY situation with his dad would be worked out I think he would be okay. I just think Michael does not have the emotional tools to deal with it. I don't recall if I wrote about it, but two weeks ago Michael tried to voice his opinion to his dad. Bad idea. It sent Ed into one of his verbally abusive and frightening episodes so bad that Michael was afraid Ed was going to hit him (boy do I know that feeling). So we made a plan on what Michael should do if Ed ever does hit him. He is to keep his cell phone charged and with him at all times, leave the premises, walk to the Police station and report it and call me to come get him.

We talked about it last night - which is not surprising as we talk about it constantly - my next goal is by January 31 to write a letter to Ed proposing alternative visitation to the weekends. Ed no longer works second shift and there is no reason he should not be able to come down on a weekday evening and spend some time with Michael. We'll see what happens with that.

So sigh... BIG sigh...

Positive thoughts ... ummm positive thoughts that SOMEHOW we can find a situation that will help Michael deal with this unhappy time in his life. That we can fix it with Ed, or provide tools for Michael to deal with the emotional turmoil this is causing him. I love my Hippie Boy and I want him to be happy. I know parents can't fix everything, but this just seems crazy.